Amalgam Universe

A 2271-post collection

Challenge #00907-B176: SUO's - Small Useful Objects

A lot of us have a “kit” stuff we cart/tote everywhere, stuff we need. Mothers carry stuff to feed,amuse and cope with the Sprogs. Crafts people carry weird stuff(well I do). So what does a Joat carry? Or pick another character/profession and add kit.

Rael could tell a newbie JOAT. It was the way their limbs trembled
under the weight of the gear in their coats. And the gentle ‘ping’ of
stitching giving way under the stress. He decided to take mercy on this
kid.

“I have a clear bench and an Hour’s pro bono credit. I can help you.”

“I think…” grunt, “I might need it…”

He took the young saurian over to the aforementioned bench. “Let’s see what you have in there.”

It
was typical noob stuff. A hammer that was only a hammer. A separate folio of screwdrivers and spanners. A multitool that could stun a
pickpocket, and would prove useful only as a cosh, in the long run. Ze
actually had baggies of sorted nuts, bolts and screws for any occasion.

No wonder they were struggling under the weight.

“Did any JOATs teach you, before you began?” he asked.

“Uuuuuuuh,” said the kid. “I thought I could… um… wing it?”

“First
lesson: SUO’s. Small. Useful. Objects.” Habit made him line up the kid’s collection on one side of the bench before emptying his own
pockets. His collections of nuts, bolts and screws were sorted by width
only. His hammer concealed an array of ever-decreasing screwdrivers,
stored matryoska style.

The small roll of screwdrivers he did have were for tiny work.

There
was a stiff, flat card. A squashed roll of ductape. A set of hex keys. An array of paperclips, and the really efficient kind of multitool that
had been made by people who wanted to work with them.

“These are the essentials. Everything else gets added on a most-needed basis.”

“But… how can anyone work with that stuff?” winced the kid.

“It’s not about make well,” said Rael. “It’s about make do.”

They spent the rest of the hour discussing the Zen of JOAT.

[Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00900-B169: Mama Bear

Murphy’s law of Babies 2:  Toddler gone? It’s with the humans.

Nita almost didn’t notice the curious little Numidid until she nearly stepped on the poor child. She was big for a human, and this little scrap of pinfeathers barely cleared her boot.

“Whoops,” she said. “Hello, little peep. Where did you come from?”

Alas, the tiny child was still talking Scribble. Multilingual Scribble, but still Scribble. It varied between Numidid, Amity English, and Galstand. She sounded irritated, and

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Challenge #00899-B168: Rule of Innocence

Murphy’s law of Babies: When you look away for two seconds and your child has absconded, it will invariably be found in whatever situation would cause the quickest messy death or most political upheaval if an adult were in the same situation.

Luckily children can get away with anything by virtue of being children, and will not be immediately vaporised for hiding behind Graknor, Conqueror of Galaxies’ legs.

Sahra let her toddler go so she could tuck herself back in. Poor

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Challenge #00898-B167: Rule of Cute

Observation: The more fragile a species is, the less danger it is in (physically) from the humans. The ones that can withstand them are treated aggressively and with much suspicion, and the dainty little ones are coddled and cooed over. And petted if the humans can get away with it.

[AN: Just FYI, not all Havenworlders are tiny. But loads of them are]

It should have been an ordinary shortcut. Just a quick dash home to pick up her LifeAlert bracelet. She

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Challenge #00897-B166: Adult Onset Responsibility

So if the first person to contact another world is automatically ambassador, what happens if an accident involves first contact being between the alien civilisation and Bigot McAssface, who would fit right in on that Greater Deregulation. Specifically, the rest of BMA’s civilisation, especially the ones interested in galactic alliance, would usually say the complete opposite of anything he does, but now he’s their galactic spokesperson.

[AN: This story will contain slurs because my main character is an arsehole]

“Keeping

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Challenge #00891-B160: Nil Mortifi Sans Lucre?

FAQ Assassins

- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30
- Please deposit last will and testament in box below
- Knock and remove shoes before entering

They say that life is cheap on Ghiisham, and they are correct. Life is cheap. You get one for free. Living can be expensive and death, though inevitable, is much more expensive than taxes.

Especially if you want it tailored.

Junior assassin Mykoss looked up at the client. They were all over sores and

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Challenge #00890-B159: Absolute Power...

Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est - Knowledge itself is power

Knowledge is power. The knowledge of physics allows many species access to space travel.

Power corrupts. Those with the power to conquer worlds will do so.

Those with the knowledge of how to fight back… sometimes fail to apply it. They have better ways.

“This system is now ours,” boomed the bird before them. “You will serve us in all things you do.”

“As you will,” said the Chief Librarian.

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Challenge #00888-B157: Station of Babel

Everybody panics in their own language.

This was where JOATs came into the fore. Electronic translators had
their limits, and one of the most prevalent of those limits was
breaching the Understanding Barrier.

Grammar is important. Especially in a panic situation.

Thus, in an emergency, the most level heads of the JOAT community come to the fore.

Shayde
stood on one of the plinths, using her own passive magic to make herself understood to all listeners. “Please proceed in an orderly
fashion

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Challenge #00885-B154: Dawn Technology

“Like many other things, if you know what you’re doing, an open fire isn’t particularly dangerous.” Says the person wearing no safety gear, having lit a campfire with flint and steel and currently rearranging the burning sticks barehanded.

“You’re… burning raw cellulose,” said the alien, through its translator. “There is no safety equipment.”

“Got a shovel,” soothed Tanja. “Got loads of sand. We’re good.”

“You are not knowing if this cellulose is loaded with toxins.”

“I live

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Challenge #00883-B152: Stress Indicators

Hiccups.

“But… I can’t be an ambassador,” Lalama protested. “I’d be the worst. HIC! There’s a reason -hic- there’s a reason -hoik- a reason I -hic- I went for -hiku- for Oort mining.”

“Well understood,” said Ruraha. She was a saurian. “Galactic law is not on your side. Friend Yayama… is breathing problem medical-dangerous?”

“No, I -hic- I just get -hyurk- get hiccups when -hroooip- when I’m nerv– HIC! Nervous.”

“But… you are

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Challenge #00882-B151: Stifled Rude Noises

Prompt: That “GNK” noise a person makes when they manage to sneeze with their mouth shut.

Brexx didn’t know what was wrong. The human ambassador spasmed suddenly and made a sort of Skngx! noise. Then she gasped for breath and went, Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! in rapid succession.

Brexx hit the panic button. “Human ambassador non-communicative. Making abbreviated noises of unknown meaning.”

“…th’ flowers,” gasped Ambassador Harry.  Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! “I’b allergig…”  Skngx! Skngx! “To th’ flowers&

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Challenge #00881-B150: One Missed Point on the Commercial Concourse

A time machine has to have flashing lights. It’s not a proper Time machine unless it has flashing lights!

It was a tiny little nookery of surprising inside dimensions. It only
seemed small on the outside. The shelves were full of interesting things that looked very impressive. There were a myriad of blinking
lights.

“Welcome, welcome,” beamed the proprietor. Their nametag declared them to be Thiite. “Do you like my time machines?”

Blez Jenkins looked again at the items on the

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Challenge #00880-B149: Feelers

“‘The flowers that bloom in the Spring, Tra, La!’ Have everything to do with the case.”

Prison cells on Amalgam were, for assorted humanoid species, a Ten
Distance Unit Cube that accommodated the bare minimum necessary for
existence. And monitors for all activity.

Shayde had chosen a
rubber ball for diversionary occupational therapy and sat with her back
pressed against one wall. She was currently engaged in throwing it
against the floor so it would ricochet off the wall and return to

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Challenge #00879-B148: Tokens of Adulthood

multitool,

They threw him a Going Away Party. Just like they threw him an
Adoption Day party on the anniversary of his arrival on Hippo Mining
Station. And, like all the things the mining crew did for him, it
involved available materials.

So far, he’d been given a pair of
The Drongo’s old work-boots - refurbished and ‘gussied up’ with a layer
of gleaming black ductape. This parcel contained fabric scraps from
Dode’s stash. Every colour of the rainbow,

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Challenge #00878-B147: Educational Aside

Since this year was a bust, eurovision prompt 2: Lasha Tumbai

[AN: I looked her up on Youtube… wow]

“So…
if that’s ‘Eurovision Lite’…” Rael couldn’t help himself. Perhaps curiosity was yet another Alpha-draft flaw. “What is -ah- ‘Eurovision
Heavy’ like?”

“Nearest words I can get is - the video answer tae crack.” Shayde queued up another video segment and fetched more popcorn.

“I’m not going to see anything… awful… am I?”

“Na, na,

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