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A 4676-post collection

Challenge #00496 - A121: Adventures With Incompatible Technology

The robots of Steam-Powered Giraffe meet Van Rijn’s Muses. 

{Fldth-whomp}

“I’m not saying she wasn’t a nice lady, Hatchy, I’m saying you really should have given that big, dangly robot her portal gun back. It’s done weird things to your cannon.”

“I like my new can-non,” grumbled a second voice. Presumably Hatchy.

“I’m k-k-kinda fond of it m-m-m-myself.” said a third. “But it’s t-takin’ us from p-pickle ta pickle, bro.”

Tinka had decided she didn’t like the sound of these strangers. In a case of three against one, Tinka inevitably came out as the loser.

She had lost enough already.

So she did the dumbest thing you could do in a room with three sudden strangers. She moved and tried to hide.

“We ain’t al-l-l-lone, fellas,” said the third.

“Well, hello there,” cheered the first. “Don’t be alarmed, we mean no harm. We’re just you’re regular, average, everyday steam powered autonomous automatons..”

“Speak for yourself, b-b-bro. I’d rath-rath-rather say we’re super awesome.”

“Rabbit, we’re trying to make friends, here… Not scare them worse.”

“Let me try?” said Hatchy.

“What? It wor-works on the stage.”

“Please let me try,” said Hatchy.

“We’re not on a stage, Rabbit.”

“Why’d ya gotta be such a wet b-b-b-b-blanket, th'Spine?”

Th'Spine and Rabbit continued to bicker. Twin blue lanterns swept the area with spotlights. “Hello?” said Hatchy. “I am friendo. Would you like to say hel-lo?”

Tinka tried the hat on the stick trick.

“That is a ve-ry nice hat, friendo. You can put it back on. We will not harm you. My name is Hatch-worth. What’s yours?”

“Ti-Tink-Tink-Tinka…” she risked a peek. “I nee-nee-nee-need re-rep-air-air-airs…”

“Ooh, no won-der you were scared. It’s all right now. We can help.”

*

The other two were The Spine and Rabbit. Twin clanks of an original four made by a Colonel Walter. Aka ‘Pappy’.

Their family was more intact that hers. Simply because the people around them cared for the clanks as if they were merely artificial people.

“These are Walter Robotics maintenance nanites,” said The Spine. It was a small vial of grey goo that… squirmed. “Keep them in the vial and on your person for three days, at least. Then you can pour them over your gears and they should keep you up to snuff.”

“They need that long to make your ac-quain-tance,” added Hatchy.

“And I d-d-d-don’t like 'em,” added Rabbit. “I wanna be outta here before they happen t’ me.”

The Spine merely rolled his eyes, as if they’d had an argument about that a thousand times before. “Frankly, ma'am, we don’t belong in this world. We’re trying to get home.”

“Where is home?” asked Tinka, clutching the tiny vial to her chest.

“San Diego,” said Rabbit.

“That’s in A-mer-i-ca,” added Hatchworth.

Tinka almost swooned. The highly hazardous Americas? And they lived there?

“And another reality,” clarified The Spine. “Most of the time, it’s rather boring.”

“Except when I’m ar-r-r-round,” added Rabbit.

Tinka watched them walk through a hole in reality to yet another world. How long had they been wandering? How much longer would they be doing so?

She contemplated the vial. They had never said she had to use all of it on herself…

The next time she found one of her sisters, she would be prepared…

[Muse food remaining: 42. Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Challenge #00495 - A120: An Attempt Was Made

And they never spoke of the peanut-butter lobster incident again.

Meals, they said, were a uniting factor. Food, they said, was universal. Humans, they said, would eat anything.

But not this.

Plate after plate after plate of it came back. They were supposed to love lobster! But they were sending this all back with comments like, “it tastes funny” or “I’m allergic to the sauce”.

One of them even came into the kitchens to find Byaadi

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Challenge #00494 - A119: One Fine Evening in the Commerce District of Station Alpha Five.

Sorry, but here’s another prompt http://cnvvj.tumblr.com/post/78934269709/harblkun-hookteeth-beltaguise-fantasy

Personally I just submit them as I have ideas/spot them on tumblr, but I try not to send 20 at once

[AN: I’m sure I did this before… But again]

“I’ve found a B or a D is better for me. There’s a fine balance between thermal security and back, neck and shoulder problems.”

A human sauntered over to

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Challenge #00493 - A118: Blood!

Nosebleeds, or to be more precise what do the other cogniscients think when it happens. Do they go for a medical kit and flutter about while the human sighs and holds their nose, or do they comment that at least the humans do something normally for once (but what scared them enough to defensively spout blood?) or something else entirely?

The human - the first they had met, was making an intermittent noise with its proboscis.

Snurf.

Communicating was spotty. Both sides

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Challenge #00492 - A117: Imagine There's No People

Challenge: No humans, or anything pertaining to them at all. That includes human-made or modified things, creatures, places, foods etc.

[AN: Ooooo a GOOD one :D]

Belok took note of the unusual structure as ze approached it. Ze could see that it was made out of ancient hulks of previous civilisations’ stellar vessels, but they had been… conglomerated. Docked, patched and - in at least one case - crashed together into one unappealing whole.

Ze tried all comms avenues including

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Challenge #00491 - A116: Random Curiosity

You mentioned Shayde’s much-debated status as “human” among the denizens of Amalgam. So I’m guessing that as well as all the “human status confirmed” moments there had to be a few cogniscients that just bluntly asked her what she was. And I’ll bet after the first twelve she started coming up with more creative answers/responses….

[AN: I doubt she made it as far as twelve]

There were drawbacks to being in the company of someone who was only

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Challenge #00490 - A115: One Alarming Discovery on the Paths Less Travelled

I may have already submitted a similar prompt, but there was mention made about how non-human species might be very good for autistes - some are very cuddly, some like particularly quiet environments, some have interesting textures. All good for degaussing or forcing the unwanted mob to back off when the autiste is having trouble communicating.

In case a similar prompt has already been made, I’ll request the first time a human of the autism spectrum met any of the Galactic

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Challenge #00489 - A114: Oxymoronic Artefacts

A sign in Braille that says “do not touch”

“Humans had to have made that,” said P’riix.

Tonq, the other archeologist on this ruined planet, peered at it. It was a wall plaque with two codified human languages on it. One of them, raised for the vision-impaired.

The flaking paint above read, “DO NOT TOUCH”

“Oh yes,” said Tonq. “We have clear evidence of humans.”

Which would alter all the reasonings concluded from the evidence

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Challenge #00488 - A113: Biggest Fans

A friend just showed me the opening lines to his new story and said I could use them as a prompt:

“This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know you can hear us, Earth-”
*sound of tape rewinding*
“…Sorry for the technical difficulties. To clarify, we are not the Mysterons. We are arguably worse.”

“Approach Cairo at vector two-one-niner by alpha seven,” sighed Kevin. “And we’ll thank you for a lack of

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Challenge #00487 - A112: Why They Never Came By

The humans’ reaction to finding out what the rest of the galaxy thought about them before actual first contact (bonus points mentioning the Pioneer plaques)

The humans learned fast. They apparently learned by messing around with things until something happened that they understood, and worked outwards from there.

And they had learned to read Ulu.

T'reka watched and recorded various humans at the Communications Centre that had once been a Hide Unit. They sat or stood at various info-stations and accessed data

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Challenge #00486 - A111: Camouflage

“Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.”

There were always things to learn. Things like, once an anomalous shape is recognised, it’s easier to spot. Dappled shadows were better to hide in and blending was important.

“Gotcha!” said the human. “You really suck at hide-and-seek, T'yrt'yr[1].”

“I followed the rules,” she

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Challenge #00485 - A110: Irresistible Force

Hey look what came around with new bits on it! http://siphersaysstuff.tumblr.com/post/73671577343/therobotmonster-moniquill-siderealsandman

Prepare for a barrage of prompts based on it :P

1. “Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.”

[AN: I love that post so much that I’m hinging a book

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Challenge #00485 - A110: The Awkward First Date

Judging by the queue size this’ll take just over a month to get to the top of the pile, so that’s a nice gap. More of the budding relationship between K’iiv and Del please?

K'iiv waited anxiously at the appointed place. Underneath the big clock that, in clear defiance of the laws of time and space, still read four minutes to two. So far, he had preened himself, purchased Terran flowers, preened himself, checked the lay of his clothes,

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Challenge #00484 - A109: Someone Said it

A.
Light Year.
Is.
The distance.
That light.
Travels.
In a year. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: Huzzah! I’m not the only person annoyed by this]

“So we travelled six thousand light years in less than an hour?” asked the tourist.

“Technically,” allowed the Hitchhiker. “Wormholes are more of a shortc–”

“We’ve been taking light years in minutes! Why aren’t I any younger?” the tourist guffawed at his own

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Challenge #00483 - A108: Yo Daddy SO Dense...

Gentlemen, behold, the singularity of stupid. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: I’ve already spoken out against mental ablism and received crap for it. No help - just crap. I feel like I’m walking on a fairy floss tightrope with incipient rain overhead, BUT - st*pid is an ablist slur please help us all find something else]

“O divine Powers, that is such a dense idea…”

“No denser than yo Daddy.”

“Yeah, well yo

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