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...Primitive Technology?

“The first great technological innovation in this ancient and primitive society,” the documentary host said with a small chuckle, “was the idea of attaching a very big blunt rock to the end of a very long stick to smash their enemies and prey at a relatively-safe distance, rather than attempting to engage them at closer range and bash them with a somewhat-smaller pointy rock held in the hand…”

A pause for effect as the camera passed across the array of crude clay-and-reed huts and their hide-clad dwellers.

“Needless to say, with the concept of weaponry established, things more-or-less spiraled down from there, and it remains nothing short of a miracle that they still exist today, and still in the same relatively primitive ‘wood, bone, and stone’ stage of technological development as they were thousands of years ago…”

It was at that point one of the “primitives” could be seen in a hut in the background, passing by an open window… with what clearly appeared to be a laptop computer tucked under one arm.

(#00703 - A338)

“What?” Tel boggled at the outtake. “These people are pre-tech. We checked. They’re definitely pre-space. How the flip—?”

“Never heard of asymmetrical development?” said a newcomer. Not one of his camera crew.

One of the natives. She was still wearing animal skins and feathers.

There was no way they could have learned Tel’s language. No way they could have seen where the hide was. Where his base camp was…

And yet…

There she was, in living colour.

“How—?”

“We didn’t think it was necessary to have architecture. We worked on our minds and philosophy and -yes- technology.”

“But your homes, your weapons… How can you have advanced technology and live in mud huts?”

“The need for huts is recent. We couldn’t stay in the caves, following the comet strike. Our geology’s become unstable and we’ve had to adapt.”

The native -Zerka- took Tel on a tour of the most stable of their previously industrial caves. Most of the space was taken up by manufacturing equipment. Still and silent, now.

Starting to rust.

“Because the comet caused massive tectonic shifting, we have to rebuild above ground. Until recently, we’ve had no need of architecture. We still have teams working on the most stable and safest designs.”

“Really?”

“We’ve got into the habit of making sure everything works before we turn it into reality. That’s why all our technology uses background radiation as a source of power. It lets us gather and hunt and then devote our downtime to more cerebral pursuits.”

That night, Tel entered the a clay hut with Zerka to watch in awe as a team of ‘primitives’ ran simulations over a cloud network that relied on subterranean beacons instead of satellites.

There was always an opportunity to learn. And Tel was glad to be proven wrong.

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Challenge #00702 - A337: I'm What?

This post: http://underthenerdhood.tumblr.com/post/92243212285/a-little-girl-who-grows-up-thinking-all-doors-are

Melia didn’t know she was haunted until she entered the Sanctum at the Academy of Magical Learning. Until that day, all doors had opened for her, before she could get to them. And, in the case of doors already open, they did not swing shut until she was through.

It was an unexplained magical gift that had lead to her scholarship at the academy in the first place.

And now, inside

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Challenge #00701 - A336: Ignorable Precautions

(no other great ape can swim, or is remotely happy about going in water [except two cases of domesticated apes in 2013, the only known examples] and most monkeys are downright afraid of water)

*splash*

‘What the - are they trying to drown themselves now?’

'They float. Of course they float.’

“Where are we?” Bessie looked around. It was an island, she could tell that much. There was a modest little house and a garden, and something of

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Challenge #00700 - A335: One Dead Hour at Unsuitable Food

[AN: Image shows a table of Uncommon But Useful Conversions. The list runs thus:

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 Bananosecond
Two monograms: 1 Diagram
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
1 kilogram of figs: 1 Fig Newton
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 Hoarsepower
1000 aches: 1 Kilohurtz
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mph: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking less-filling low-calorie beer: 1 Lite Year
1

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Challenge #00699 - A334: Community Service

(Inspired by one of your older works)

A “What, Ho!” scene.

[AN: For those unfamiliar with the topic, check out my fanfic Misfits]

The cogniscent tree people of Kumonjagotabijokin had a very peculiar life cycle. For a start, they planted the fruit of the Elder Trees and raised the resulting sproutlings as their own.

And, unfortunately for Aerin, crash landings did not come with tourist pamphlets. The world was pre-industrial and definitely pre-spaceflight, so common etiquette decreed the entire world be left

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Challenge #00698 - A333: Rituals of Nerditry

A “Hu’s on first” routine

OR

A “The bowler’s Holding” moment

Two humans, both wearing suits, stood on the otherwise empty stage.

“Heeeeeey, Abbott,” said the smaller one.

“Yes, Costello?” said Abbott.

“I hear you made captain of the local neighbourhood baseball team.”

“That’s correct. I did. I’m rather proud.”

“I’d like to know the names of some of the guys on your team, so

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Challenge #00697 - A332: Extreme Cuisine

Rapid tissue cloning from donated cells + vat-grown flesh as food-products = “My God… I’m delicious!”

They’d called the restaurant Eat My Ass. And the staff handed out FAQ sheets as to why they did it.

Fast-tissue cloning worked best on the muscles of the gluteus maximus. Which, in the kitchen/laboratory, became the best well-marbled meat individually tailored for each customer.

They had a wide variety of dishes that, technically, were veganism in its purest form. No animal had to

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Challenge #00696 - A331: Hence the Canary

Image prompt: FWOOM

[AN: Image shows a younger person lighting gas at ceiling level using a match on a stick while an older person watches]

Of all the weird scavengers Lynn the Hitcher ever met, Barstow had to take the cake. It wasn’t just that Barstow kept canaries in their own aviary on her patchwork ship. It was also that she had an entire hold dedicated to pressurised air.

“I’m claustrophobic,” Barstow confessed. “Lifesuits freak

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Challenge #00695 - A330: One Dank Afternoon in a Dungeon Pub

A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Get me a beer and a mop!”

“Har har har,” droned the barman, who happened to be a troll. “Like I don’t hear that every day.”

“Can’t blame a lich for trying to put a smile on that ugly puss.”

“Trolls don’t smile,” growled the troll.

“…okay… I guess you can…”

The bartender poured a

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Challenge #00694 - A329: Children of the Permanent Night

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/100492890835/bulbul-e-bismil-oh-vampire-lake-teach-me

SCUBA VAMPIRES

All around the globe, the secret societies of vampire hunters noticed something strange. A drastic reduction in the volumes of their prey. All the crypts and castles were actually becoming abandoned hulks. All the roosting places, new and old, were vacant.

They knew it wasn’t them. Despite their best efforts, all the vampire hunters could do was keep the worst examples from running rough-shod through the populations of the living.

All

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Challenge #00693 - A328: Human Foodstuff Transit

Marmite.

Normally, M'riik loved living and working on a relatively small station. It was peaceful and the views were always amazing. But there were times, like now, when living and working on a relatively small station was a pain in the anatomy.

The freighter had diverted from its logged course because of engine trouble, which meant paperwork and a freight inspection to make sure nothing was going to escape while the two vessels shared air.

Normally, a vacuum-sealed cargo hold would go

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Challenge #00692 - A327: "Secret" Identity

A character wakes up next to their spouse, ready to start their day.  But… this person is not what they appear to be - what seems to be a normal person is just a disguise for their true self, a fearsome and powerful inhuman entity. The catch is that the spouse knows about this secretive disguise… but the entity doesn’t know the spouse knows, so still tries (a bit ineptly) to hide things. The spouse finds this too adorable to ruin

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Challenge #00691 - A326: Photographic Anomalies

Somewhere in the universe…

[AN: Picture shows a “grey” alien striking a pose on a dirt road by a beach. In the far left background is a circled object in the sky. Said object is enlarged in the lower right of the frame. It resembles a Terran jet]

ALIENS?! blared the headline. The article expanded on the bizarre tale.

K’tob Nygrosk had no idea what would appear in her holiday snaps when she took them. “I was focussed on Reikik, not

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Challenge #00690 - A325: The Treasure

A Gyiik discovers the food Elvis ate.

Vic reached hungrily for the cellulose sheet.

“Ut,” said the Archivaas Tiel, drawing it back to her body. “Payment first. I know how you Gyiiks get with new recipes. I learned after the first time.”

“My apologies,” Vic the Gyiik began to lay out her money. “Two Months plus hazard pay… and a voucher card for two Years’ worth of free meals at Unsuitable Food Eat.

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Challenge #00689 - A324: In Peril

Always remember, if you can see it it already knows you are there.

Good news, this alien rock had enough breathable air to make resource gathering less of a problem.

Bad news, resource gathering was going to happen from the ground up. Literally.

Good news, the edible flora and fauna were easily identifiable.

Bad news… there was a human in the area.

Like K'tole, the human had landed here because of its plentiful resources very close to the surface. And all

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