Just Add Prompt

A 4675-post collection

Challenge #00899-B168: Rule of Innocence

Murphy’s law of Babies: When you look away for two seconds and your child has absconded, it will invariably be found in whatever situation would cause the quickest messy death or most political upheaval if an adult were in the same situation.

Luckily children can get away with anything by virtue of being children, and will not be immediately vaporised for hiding behind Graknor, Conqueror of Galaxies’ legs.

Sahra let her toddler go so she could tuck herself back in. Poor little Amba was having trouble with her solids and the perpetual search for something she could chew - besides Sahra’s nipples - was ongoing and arduous.

It was the other reason she brought Amba with her, this Meet. So she could see the best of the Galactic doctors and finally, finally, figure out what was going wrong.

Nobody had commented about her temporary exposure. But then, she wasn’t the only ambassador nurturing their young.

Unfortunately, her young was the only one going straight up to a Level Six Deathworlder’s spiked-armour boots.

Klacid the Conqueror of H’radiss, ruler of worlds, devastator of enemies…. did not notice Amba until the tiny girl threw up on his shiny shoes.

He stopped, mid-speech, and picked up the child. Sahra, already halfway towards the scene, inadvertently blurted her baby’s name. It was bad form to interrupt an Ambassador’s  Introduction, but she wasn’t thinking clearly by then.

No mother at the Meet would blame her.

“What do you do, little scrap?” said Klacid the Conquerer. “This is the origin of the mighty humans?”

And then Amba grabbed hold of and bit his poking finger. Using all four of her sharp, new teeth.

Worlds could have died.

Sahra disengaged Amba with profuse apologies.

“Num num num,” said Amba. “Bas’da Numnum.”

O God… no. Sahra managed a pained rictus as she tried to retreat in a dignified manner to her appointed seat. Simy, one minute too late from running messages to the Mythos table, fielded Amba to place her in her playpen.

“She is a warrior,” crowed Klacid the Conqueror. “She has drawn blood before she has picked up her first weapon!” He roared with laughter. “These humans are admirable. I like them.”

It was only later that science would discover that H’radiss blood had an enzyme that Amba could not produce herself. Klacid merrily volunteered to bleed for her, and was very disappointed that the medtechs could not only synthesise the enzyme for Amba, but infect her with retrogenes that would fix the problem.

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Challenge #00898-B167: Rule of Cute

Observation: The more fragile a species is, the less danger it is in (physically) from the humans. The ones that can withstand them are treated aggressively and with much suspicion, and the dainty little ones are coddled and cooed over. And petted if the humans can get away with it.

[AN: Just FYI, not all Havenworlders are tiny. But loads of them are]

It should have been an ordinary shortcut. Just a quick dash home to pick up her LifeAlert bracelet. She

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Challenge #00897-B166: Adult Onset Responsibility

So if the first person to contact another world is automatically ambassador, what happens if an accident involves first contact being between the alien civilisation and Bigot McAssface, who would fit right in on that Greater Deregulation. Specifically, the rest of BMA’s civilisation, especially the ones interested in galactic alliance, would usually say the complete opposite of anything he does, but now he’s their galactic spokesperson.

[AN: This story will contain slurs because my main character is an arsehole]

“Keeping

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Challenge #00896-B165: Instruments of War

The gentle breeze softly ruffled the hair of the Spine as he lay in the field

[AN: This fic is inspired by Photographic Memories and may contain The Feels]

He
reached over and picked it up. The fastening clips were still intact. Good. He didn’t like being bare-headed. It made people stare and treat
him like a thing.

The downside to always wearing hair was that he
was not used to putting it on, so it took him three tried to

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Challenge #00895-B164: The Old Heart-Stopper

There is coffee, there is turkish coffee, there is paper-due-in-six-hours was-coffee-once, and then there is whatever you just made and drank.

Grace watched Sara cautiously as more and more ingredients kept
coming out of random storage places. Turkish Coffee steeped in its
special apparatus. Espresso poured out of the little budget coffee maker
that pushed hot water through little capsules, and it did so on a near steady stream. The finished cups of steaming liquid went into a cooking
pot that already

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Challenge #00894-B163: The Unexpectables!

Beauty, brains and brawn. The traditional makeup for any team. Have fun.

There’s hundreds of ways to be a hero. And more than one way to be a heroic team…

Munashe finished the delivery forms for her auction winnings. An entire library of childrens’ books from a now-defunct school. Purchased for a dollar from a government auction because nobody was interested in buying things from a school.

The story books were going to a children’s hospital. The educational stuff

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Challenge #00893-B162: Perish the Thought

(Was trying to find the post that inspired this, but couldn’t)
Considering that literature professors, English teachers, and mandatory readings have managed to make Shakespeare boring, even with the subject material, jokes, innuendo, memorable insults everywhere, and masterful handling of it all, imagine the travesty that will be lessons on Discworld in a few centuries.

Time’s winged chariot… renders all things boring.

They were
doing the Pratchett section of English Lit, which was only slightly less
dull than the Victorian

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Challenge #00892-B161: Malevolent Dictatorship

Person #1: Y'know, despite the fact that we’ve been conquered by a mad scientist, you’ve got to admit at least they make the trains run on time.

Person #2: So the train /won’t/ be late?

Person #1: Might be a bit early. And on fire. With electricity flying off it. And a dark cloud of doom preceding it. And a strange, shrill laugh.

Person #3: You know, like the 11:25 one.

Say what you like about Mad
Doctor

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Challenge #00891-B160: Nil Mortifi Sans Lucre?

FAQ Assassins

- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30
- Please deposit last will and testament in box below
- Knock and remove shoes before entering

They say that life is cheap on Ghiisham, and they are correct. Life is cheap. You get one for free. Living can be expensive and death, though inevitable, is much more expensive than taxes.

Especially if you want it tailored.

Junior assassin Mykoss looked up at the client. They were all over sores and

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Challenge #00890-B159: Absolute Power...

Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est - Knowledge itself is power

Knowledge is power. The knowledge of physics allows many species access to space travel.

Power corrupts. Those with the power to conquer worlds will do so.

Those with the knowledge of how to fight back… sometimes fail to apply it. They have better ways.

“This system is now ours,” boomed the bird before them. “You will serve us in all things you do.”

“As you will,” said the Chief Librarian.

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Challenge #00889-B158: Nonse

With the amount of sense the last few hours have not made, I’m tempted to believe that this is all a simulation someone or something built into the universe for people foolish enough to have attempted what I did…

[AN: I am having intense internet trouble at the mome so I’m giving this to you from my phone. Forgive the lack of the usual formatting]

The trees were gathering water and farming people.

This… this was wrong. The sky was

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Challenge #00888-B157: Station of Babel

Everybody panics in their own language.

This was where JOATs came into the fore. Electronic translators had
their limits, and one of the most prevalent of those limits was
breaching the Understanding Barrier.

Grammar is important. Especially in a panic situation.

Thus, in an emergency, the most level heads of the JOAT community come to the fore.

Shayde
stood on one of the plinths, using her own passive magic to make herself understood to all listeners. “Please proceed in an orderly
fashion

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Challenge #00887-B156: Can't Eat, Won't Eat

A cooking show for all of us with allergies, medical conditions and on medication which won’t let us eat common items. Grapefruit, garlic and members of the cabbage family come to mind.

“Welcome to the cooking show that we all love, but chefs love to hate! It’s Can’t Eat, Won’t Eat!”

Applause and hoots.

“Our judges tonight include somebody on bloodthinners, he’s also allergic to the entire cabbage family and won’t eat onion!”

The judge waved.

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Challenge #00886-B155: Unexpected Bastion of Safety

“Deportment and propriety in High Society 101” at Lady Favisham’s, a mandatory course for young ladies.

(AKA “How to break a man’s wrist without letting go of your fan”)

“Men,” began Mistress Carlysle. She said the word as though it were an epithet. “They own the world. They run the world. The spend their lives believing that whatever they see… they own. They believe they have the right to help themselves. And it is up to us… It

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Challenge #00885-B154: Dawn Technology

“Like many other things, if you know what you’re doing, an open fire isn’t particularly dangerous.” Says the person wearing no safety gear, having lit a campfire with flint and steel and currently rearranging the burning sticks barehanded.

“You’re… burning raw cellulose,” said the alien, through its translator. “There is no safety equipment.”

“Got a shovel,” soothed Tanja. “Got loads of sand. We’re good.”

“You are not knowing if this cellulose is loaded with toxins.”

“I live

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