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Challenge #01057-B325: Angels Unawares

http://soluscrow.tumblr.com/post/133913436559/modernaukeats-texts-between-angels-trying-to

Angels living among the mortals -- Gallifreya

Mrs Getherty had always been in the neighbourhood. And she had always been a little strange. For instance, she invited the local evangelists in for tea and cookies. And a nice, long chat that somehow devoured their entire day, covered nothing, and roamed from topic to topic like an indecisive kid with one dollar to spend in the candy store.

Nobody could remember when she wasn't a slightly dotty old lady who took in strays of all kinds. Nobody knew where she got her money from, either, but she apparently had enough to look after anyone and anything that elected to stay in her slightly dilapidated old house.

Nobody could remember the last time she was sick, when she last needed help, or when she ever had anything new.

Thieves occasionally tried to break in and steal what little she had. When they did, they found themselves fed and gently talked to until they elected to mend their ways.

People said her chicken soup could cure AIDS.

And when Taro ran away from home, Mrs Getherty just took her in like any other lost stray.

It was late, but noise in the kitchen never reached anyone else who slept in that old house. And there was always a bed to spare, for all that it was usually inhabited by insolent cats.

Taro sat somewhere in the middle of a huge fluffy dressing gown. It was too big to be Mrs Getherty's. Too big to be anyone's. But it was always warm and it always smelled slightly of cinnamon. She watched Mrs Getherty put together some tea and arrange for some soup to appear.

There was nothing on earth like Mrs Getherty's chicken soup. It warmed a body up from the soul out. A fortunate thing, since Taro had run away in the middle of possibly the worst storm in living memory. Her clothes had been soaked through.

But then, Mrs Getherty always had some spares. Taro didn't mind the slightly-too-large prairie dress of a nightie. She liked the flowers.

Mrs Getherty shook as she poured the tea. Despite her trembling hands, she never spilled a drop of anything. "Now. Why would you run out of a loving home on a night like this?"

"...don't like uncle teddy," Taro mumbled.

"Your mama's new boyfriend, Uncle Teddy?" she asked, sitting down with some great effort. "He's been helping pay the rent as I understand it."

"...been helpin' himself," mumbled Taro. "...don' like what he does."

"Mm-hm..." Mrs Getherty reached across to read Taro's hand. "Hm. One of those is it? Not on my watch."

Taro wondered what sort of thing Mrs Getherty could do about her 'uncle' Teddy. But she never saw it. Mrs Getherty made Taro finish her soup and drink the tea, both of which made her drowsy. The next thing she knew, she was being tucked into one of the spare beds and colonised by cats. Including a very friendly tortie who purred the instant she was touched.

And the next morning, Mama was picking her up out of the blanket of cats.

"Something strange came over that man," said Mama. "Did he touch you? Did he make you feel bad?"

Taro nodded fearfully.

But Mama just hugged her tight. "He told me everything. Everything! He went funny and confessed to me, to the priest, and to the police... He's demanding to help catch others like him. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," soothed Mrs Getherty, leaning on the doorway. "Those types know how to fool people on every level."

Mama got distracted by dogs and children and cats long enough for Taro to break free and ask, "What did you do to him?"

An enigmatic smile. "I just showed him the error of his ways, is all. Let him see where he was going. I do admit, I might have overdone it a tad."

Nobody could remember the last time that Mrs Getherty had been cross, either. She never really got angry. She just... tidied things up. And last night, the thing she had tidied was the monster Taro knew as Uncle Teddy.

And just for a second... Taro swore that Mrs Getherty's shadow had wings.

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Challenge #01056-B324: For a Dog to Tear

Hachiko, Greyfriars Bobby, Fido, Shep, and every other dog on all three subsections of this list

By the way, to get the full tearjerking experience, for every dog on that list that has a full article, read it as well. -- RecklessPrudence

Etta was getting used to it, even though it broke her heart. Every day, for their morning walk, Boy would insist on trying to find his Master. The routine included visiting his former home in the JOAT sector, and visiting

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Challenge #01055-B323: Eventual Amity

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Domestic life after the baby dilemma -- Gallifreya

Gloria was crying. She'd been crying for hours.

Disastra moaned. She hadn't slept enough to focus her magic. Therefore she used her wand to prod Calamity. "It's your turn."

"N'h did it las' time..."

"No you didn't, I did it last time. GO!"

"...five mo' minutes..."

"NO! YOU HAD THE STUPID IDEA TO STEAL A STUPID BRAT!"

"You had th' same one," Calamity grumbled. She, too, had

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Challenge #01054-B322: Joint Custody

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Two separate magical entities turn up for the same baby. -- Gallifreya

They both appeared at the christening. Calamity in a plume of green fire and Disastra in a cloud of roiling purple smoke. Both with identical words.

"Give me the child!"

The proud parents recognised one of them and boggled at the other. Then at their spouse.

"I can explain," they both said.

He had paid for an invulnerable armour with the life of

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Challenge #01053-B321: Subtle(n)...

We're going to be subtle with high explosives

My favourite kind of subtle! -- RecklessPrudence

There are certain things that worry Galactic Citizens about humans. The thing that worried them most was when they got very quiet. Despite the fact that a sleeping human is a safe human, a quiet human is usually involved in working something out.

Ax'and'l had learned that only slightly more dangerous was a human who was muttering to themselves. Only more dangerous was when they stopped muttering

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Challenge #01052-B320: The Way to Win is Not to Play

"If I can't win, I don't want to play!" -- Anon Guest

Emperor Gregor "Elf-hand" of Vardia always displayed his shortened hand at the negotiations table. It put the wind up the other side. They knew the story, without a doubt. Mainly because he had someone as part of his staff whose job it was to tell it.

Anyone entering the negotiations room would stare, and then try to not stare. And fail. And they'd spend the rest of the talks being

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Challenge #01051-B319: One Entertaining Evening in the Local Theatre

This video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvJZVq5_cGs I've never seen something like that executed so well in real life. -- Gallifreya

[AN: for those of you who don't want to watch, the prank involves sets of twins doing a Scooby-Doo farcical door chase scene]

Seeing it done with editing was one thing. Seeing it done live was another. Watching what seemed to be the same person enter one door and immediately exit another, on stage... it boggled the mind.

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Challenge #01050-B318: Fidelity

You can break my soul.

Shatter my mind.

Take my life away.

Beat me, hurt me, kill me.

But for the love of God

And for the sake of your own lives

Don't you

DARE

Touch her. -- Anon Guest

The human was already half-mad, even by human standards, when Kri'ko met her. She called herself Dog. Mutt on the bad days. Whenever she was awake, Dog would chatter to herself. A constant diatribe of ideas and denials.

They threw Kri'ko in

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Challenge #01049-B317: Ashes to Ash...

http://outfromtheinkwell.tumblr.com/post/133600270753/latessitrice-absinthenoir

The woes of an Italian vampire -- Gallifreya

[AN: Trying to write this without sounding racist]

I didn't know what I'd become when I stumbled home to Mama. I could remember an attack. I remember that the early dawn light burned my skin. I remember... being ill. Not being able to take in Mama's cooking. Being so thirsty. And always tired during the day.

Mama did what she could. She kept the sun away from

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Challenge #01048-B316: Afoot in the Grove

Pick one or more items from this list - it just sounded so much like the sort of things you'd think up that I HAD to share... http://howlingguardian.tumblr.com/post/133493640614/
(post reproduced below in case of link failure)

Talk fantasy prosthetics to me.

An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the

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Challenge #01047-B315: Economy Exorcism

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/133438233764/breelandwalker-witchbxi-spirit-haunts-a -- Gallifreya

They looked like the typical whitebread couple who scoffed at the warnings that their new home was haunted until things got beyond the line of wilful ignorance. Candace listened to their story, and it ran the entire gamut of that sad story.

They fell in love with the place. Didn't believe in the supernatural. Laughed at the thought of ghosts. Little incidents escalated. And they escalated quickly. And the next thing they knew,

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Challenge #01046-B314: "Surprise" Party

Nanny Ogg throws Granny Weatherwax a surprise 70th birthday party at the Lancre pub. -- Anon Guest

Birthdays are generally a special occasion. Witch's birthdays doubly so. Not many of them prefer to make their age known, lest the C-word inevitably slip from someone's mouth.

Gytha had done her best. She'd set up in a place where Esme Weatherwax never went if she could prevent it. The local pub. She'd laid on every treat she could, including the mandatory ham bun; because,

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Challenge #01045-B313: Inexplicable In-Jokes

Did we ever figure out why you can't stop laughing whenever I say the word "pineapple"? -- Gallifreya

Giggles filled the break room. Of course they did. The inherently funny word had been uttered. They managed to stop.

"I dunno, to be honest. It's just a ridiculous fruit. The entire rest of the world calls them Ananas. They're nothing like an apple. They never came from a pine tree[1]. I mean - English language, what the ever-loving flip?"

"Maybe it sounded

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Challenge #01044-B312: Self-Aware Adventurer

Because I am here...

...I can protect my friends.

but

Because I am here...

... my friends must fight. -- Anon Guest

There's usually two reasons why the prophecy only names the Chosen One. Neither of them are very good. Either they didn't make friends during their epic quest... or their friends fell by the wayside.

Claire refused to let her friends die for her.

She did everything she could to protect them. To help them survive the battles that the Scourge sent

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Challenge #01043-B311: One Very Bad Day

Lewis Pepper and Fluttershy (tiny ghost choir optional) -- Gallifreya

Lewis' form coalesced as his consciousness returned. Ow. That hurt. He let himself linger in invisibility while he took stock.

Okay. One of the unsolicited exorcists had banished him to another plane. That was -haha- plainly evident. Everything here was bright colours and cheerful curves. There was a small town, just beyond the forest. Also brightly coloured and almost offensively pretty.

So he was currently a floating, purple vapour. Good. People might

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