Amalgam Universe

A 2298-post collection

Challenge #00898-B167: Rule of Cute

Observation: The more fragile a species is, the less danger it is in (physically) from the humans. The ones that can withstand them are treated aggressively and with much suspicion, and the dainty little ones are coddled and cooed over. And petted if the humans can get away with it.

[AN: Just FYI, not all Havenworlders are tiny. But loads of them are]

It should have been an ordinary shortcut. Just a quick dash home to pick up her LifeAlert bracelet. She needed it to avoid danger and because of her idiot roommate, she’d forgotten it in their rush to catch the next tram.

Didn’t have the time to do things properly. Now I have to do them twice.

Alas, the quiet lounge that was always empty had humans in it.

Crap!

None of her people were cleared to encounter humans yet. The most dangerous of all known Deathworlders. The ones with the most potential to create great havok or great miracles.

Tyr’ip shrank down, hunkering close to the ground and trying to be stealthy. No sudden moves. No sound. She was almost halfway there.

“Aaaaaawww…” cooed a human.

O Powers. They were all watching her!

“It’s oh-kay,” cooed a second one. A big, muscular sort with mutliple scars. “We won’t hurt you.”

“Are you lost, sweetie?” singsonged a third.

Several of them were putting on Phin gloves[1] and some were looking up their Curtedex[2] for matches.

Tyr’ip found herself trying to burrow backwards into a wall. They were planning to handle her! She breathlessly attempted GalStand. “Self being class two Havenworld… Please no be squeeze.”

“Aaaawwww…”

“Dat’s so cyoooot…”

“She smol.”

“Aw adorbs diddle cinnabon…”

What was happening? Several of the humans were getting on their knees. Trying to reach her reduced eye-height.

“It’s gonna be okay,” cooed the leader. The female with the scars and the muscles. “I’m Tambry. We want to make sure you get safe, okay?”

It took her a moment to work it out. “Self has initiating… nurturing?”

Coos and squeaks from the humans.

“Take that as a ‘yes’,” whispered Tambry.

Ko’rii, her idiot roommate, almost soiled herself when Tyr’ip returned with not only her LifeAlert, but a volunteer honour guard of six burly mercenary humans.

“Lesson,” said Tyr’ip, who was starting to grow used to them. “Do not allow forgetfulness. You never know what else might turn up in retrieval.”

[1] Humans rarely give up a chance to let an acronym go unmolested. Thus Ph-N, standing for Ph-Neutral, became Phin. Such gloves are a vital courtesy when handling some Havenworlders.
[2] Rather like a wiki for species. Contains important information such as what class of world they come from, how to be polite, and emergency medical treatment.

[Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00897-B166: Adult Onset Responsibility

So if the first person to contact another world is automatically ambassador, what happens if an accident involves first contact being between the alien civilisation and Bigot McAssface, who would fit right in on that Greater Deregulation. Specifically, the rest of BMA’s civilisation, especially the ones interested in galactic alliance, would usually say the complete opposite of anything he does, but now he’s their galactic spokesperson.

[AN: This story will contain slurs because my main character is an arsehole]

“Keeping

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Challenge #00891-B160: Nil Mortifi Sans Lucre?

FAQ Assassins

- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30
- Please deposit last will and testament in box below
- Knock and remove shoes before entering

They say that life is cheap on Ghiisham, and they are correct. Life is cheap. You get one for free. Living can be expensive and death, though inevitable, is much more expensive than taxes.

Especially if you want it tailored.

Junior assassin Mykoss looked up at the client. They were all over sores and

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Challenge #00890-B159: Absolute Power...

Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est - Knowledge itself is power

Knowledge is power. The knowledge of physics allows many species access to space travel.

Power corrupts. Those with the power to conquer worlds will do so.

Those with the knowledge of how to fight back… sometimes fail to apply it. They have better ways.

“This system is now ours,” boomed the bird before them. “You will serve us in all things you do.”

“As you will,” said the Chief Librarian.

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Challenge #00888-B157: Station of Babel

Everybody panics in their own language.

This was where JOATs came into the fore. Electronic translators had
their limits, and one of the most prevalent of those limits was
breaching the Understanding Barrier.

Grammar is important. Especially in a panic situation.

Thus, in an emergency, the most level heads of the JOAT community come to the fore.

Shayde
stood on one of the plinths, using her own passive magic to make herself understood to all listeners. “Please proceed in an orderly
fashion

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Challenge #00885-B154: Dawn Technology

“Like many other things, if you know what you’re doing, an open fire isn’t particularly dangerous.” Says the person wearing no safety gear, having lit a campfire with flint and steel and currently rearranging the burning sticks barehanded.

“You’re… burning raw cellulose,” said the alien, through its translator. “There is no safety equipment.”

“Got a shovel,” soothed Tanja. “Got loads of sand. We’re good.”

“You are not knowing if this cellulose is loaded with toxins.”

“I live

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Challenge #00883-B152: Stress Indicators

Hiccups.

“But… I can’t be an ambassador,” Lalama protested. “I’d be the worst. HIC! There’s a reason -hic- there’s a reason -hoik- a reason I -hic- I went for -hiku- for Oort mining.”

“Well understood,” said Ruraha. She was a saurian. “Galactic law is not on your side. Friend Yayama… is breathing problem medical-dangerous?”

“No, I -hic- I just get -hyurk- get hiccups when -hroooip- when I’m nerv– HIC! Nervous.”

“But… you are

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Challenge #00882-B151: Stifled Rude Noises

Prompt: That “GNK” noise a person makes when they manage to sneeze with their mouth shut.

Brexx didn’t know what was wrong. The human ambassador spasmed suddenly and made a sort of Skngx! noise. Then she gasped for breath and went, Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! in rapid succession.

Brexx hit the panic button. “Human ambassador non-communicative. Making abbreviated noises of unknown meaning.”

“…th’ flowers,” gasped Ambassador Harry.  Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! Skngx! “I’b allergig…”  Skngx! Skngx! “To th’ flowers&

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Challenge #00881-B150: One Missed Point on the Commercial Concourse

A time machine has to have flashing lights. It’s not a proper Time machine unless it has flashing lights!

It was a tiny little nookery of surprising inside dimensions. It only
seemed small on the outside. The shelves were full of interesting things that looked very impressive. There were a myriad of blinking
lights.

“Welcome, welcome,” beamed the proprietor. Their nametag declared them to be Thiite. “Do you like my time machines?”

Blez Jenkins looked again at the items on the

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Challenge #00880-B149: Feelers

“‘The flowers that bloom in the Spring, Tra, La!’ Have everything to do with the case.”

Prison cells on Amalgam were, for assorted humanoid species, a Ten
Distance Unit Cube that accommodated the bare minimum necessary for
existence. And monitors for all activity.

Shayde had chosen a
rubber ball for diversionary occupational therapy and sat with her back
pressed against one wall. She was currently engaged in throwing it
against the floor so it would ricochet off the wall and return to

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Challenge #00879-B148: Tokens of Adulthood

multitool,

They threw him a Going Away Party. Just like they threw him an
Adoption Day party on the anniversary of his arrival on Hippo Mining
Station. And, like all the things the mining crew did for him, it
involved available materials.

So far, he’d been given a pair of
The Drongo’s old work-boots - refurbished and ‘gussied up’ with a layer
of gleaming black ductape. This parcel contained fabric scraps from
Dode’s stash. Every colour of the rainbow,

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Challenge #00878-B147: Educational Aside

Since this year was a bust, eurovision prompt 2: Lasha Tumbai

[AN: I looked her up on Youtube… wow]

“So…
if that’s ‘Eurovision Lite’…” Rael couldn’t help himself. Perhaps curiosity was yet another Alpha-draft flaw. “What is -ah- ‘Eurovision
Heavy’ like?”

“Nearest words I can get is - the video answer tae crack.” Shayde queued up another video segment and fetched more popcorn.

“I’m not going to see anything… awful… am I?”

“Na, na,

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Challenge #00876-B145: DO NOT ASK

Murphy’s Law, and ensuing resulting chaos thereof.

[AN: You can get some really interesting ones over here: http://www.scottrainey.com/jokes/murphys_laws.htm]

There are rules to space travel. Primary amongst them is: Shut the flakking door. And many of them are cycled upwards or downwards depending on the frequency of use.

But always, somewhere in the top ten is: Never ask questions with an inherently obvious answer.

The
examples of the lawbreakers are numerous. Blex T’iiv once

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Challenge #00873-B142: Distracting Objects

Keets and a laser pointer.

Problem one: Keets are super-delicate babies and must be protected.

Problem two: Keets are as hyper as all get out in rainy weather.

Problem three: Keets can climb, but they’re not that great at getting down safely.

Problem four: they’re suicidally curious and have worked out how to open the playroom door.

Keri had to keep them under constant supervision and off the shelving and occupied until the grownups came back.

And, as further trouble,

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