InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12647 posts

Challenge #00016: Worst. Date. Ever!

“Sophia Pirelli was everything a girl like me could hope for: tall, beautiful, intelligent, editor of the college paper, a tall redhead with legs that went on for miles.  I’d crushed on her for months, finally working up the gumption to ask her for coffee. She was perfect.  She was glorious.  And yet we had nothing to talk about.”  

AKA the most awkward date ever/what happens when crushes and reality collide violently.

“Yes, my foster parents named me Daniel. Danny. They wanted a boy, but since they couldn’t tell, they went with a more… plastic name. How did you come by ‘Shayde’?” The lizard in a plethora of pink carnations - none of them flowers - twiddled nervously with her chopstick cheaters.

Rael had covertly turned on his vocoder ages ago, since Shayde was still a person of interest to many. He did his best to eat quietly. The recordings would never be distributed if he could help it. Just used for fact verification in a QNA file somewhere.

“Well, I was bouncin’ between some different dimensions fer a bitty while. Pillar to post, helter to skelter. You get the idea. And a lot of 'em were -ah- socially backwards. I got mistaken for a demon. A lot.” Shayde paused for a bite of something with the tentacles still on. “Anyway, after hearing 'avaunt foul shade from the blackest pit’ a few hundred times, I figured I might as well go by the name they kept calling me.”

“Oh I so totally get that! Like, when I told my folks I identified female, they started spelling my name with an I instead of a Y. I like the Y. It’s… me.”

Shayde smiled politely, if wanly. “Yeah. A lot like that. Only a lot different.”

Danny the lizard girl giggled nervously.

Sociology study. Cogniscents raised by humans. Better or worse off than children raised by animals? Rael decided that someone else would be better off doing that study. The humans had enough problems with prejudice owing to their species-wide recognized insanity.

“Um. Um. Is it a lot different? Y'know. Twentieth century versus twenty-fifth?”

“Well, there’s still no’ flying cars. Big shock.”

“Wait. That was sarcasm! I love the sarcasm. I just can never get it right.”

“…fab…” Shayde cleared her throat. “The computers that can argue are a shocker. I guess it’s only fair though. We were workin’ on parallel intelligence ever since we figured some behaviours could be programmed. Not my forte.”

“You don’t like music? I thought your home era was all about music. I mean, more works per capita were written in your era. So many artists. So much talent. So many tunes you can like, never get out of your mind?”

“Not forte-music. Forte’s another word for strength. My hobby’s music.”

“YEEEEEeeeeeEEEEE! What do you play? Can you do Stairway to Paradise?”

“I’m not in the habit of bringin’ my axe to a date.”

“This is a date? I’m not… of age.”

“I thought it was a date when I mistook ye for a fella. And thought you were older.”

Another nervous giggle. “I have a lot more time to think in text-space.”

“Aye, I figured that out.” Shayde snagged something made to look like a rose off of the conveyor. More for something to do than to eat. She sniffed it before eating it. “Do you have a career lined up?”

“Well. I am so into history it’s scary…”

“Aye, I figured that out, too….”

Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 25

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twenty-Five: Survivors

  Hess had been attacking children for fifteen years. Apparently, Kurt was somewhere in the middle.

  “Gruss Gott…”

  Bluebelle clung to him like a limpet, half-hiding from all the strangers. She, Kitty and Kurt all wore a little tag that marked them as survivors.

  There were lots of tags in the crowd.

  “I guess it *is* a convention,” said Kitty. “Look, there’s even booths.”

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Possible sidefling of "Free to a Good Home" - the X-Men (and Brotherhood maybe?) volunteer at an animal shelter as part of community...

(#00015)

[It’s Free to a Loving Home, BTW…]

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?”

“It’s this or orange jumpsuits, yo.” Todd twiddled with the device around his neck. Stark Industries had been both very quick and very clever with coming up with ways to ensure mutant miscreants paid their dues.

“Stop doing that,” warned Freddy. “You might make it angry.” He had discovered the downside of

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 24

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twenty-Four: Chain Reaction

  Coffee dripped off of Principal Kelly’s TV screen.

  “Oh, *GOD*, no!” He knelt in front of it, where his newly-hired Gym teacher’s face was being broadcast, nationwide, under the lable of 'child abuser’. And she’d seemed so *nice*… So - *normal*. “I'm *ruined*! *Ruined*! God, why does this have to happen to meeeee… I'm not a bad man…

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Announce on the Challenge

I’m going to try spacing my prompts out to one a day, if only to give Geekhyena a break ;)

Also, it gives me more time to think about which prompt would be best to take on and it gives you (yes, you! The individual reading this) time to think up some more prompts to submit or ask me :)

Of course, I will try to do the non-fanficcy ones first, since stretching into my pet universe is a priority for me.

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Kurt's sandwiches (and the odd combination of ingredients therein) are the stuff of legends.

(#00014)

“PBLTBJ.”

“Yahuh.”

“Peanut butter. Lettuce. Tomato. Bacon. And Jelly.”

“Yyyyyyup.”

“And that was because he was in too much of a hurry to make two sandwiches?”

“And we were almost out of bread at the time.”

“Euw.”

“You should try his leftover turkey fluffernutter-reese sandwich.”

“What?”

“A Reeses sandwich is peanut butter and nutella - or a nutella substitute. Fluffernutter is marshmallow

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Challenge me?

Challenge me?

I am writing short stories based on submissions from you. Yes you.

If you’re reading this, you can slap together any old word salad you like and pop it in my submissions box. Or my ask box. Or even in an answer below. I will turn it into a story.

Anything you want to see, I will make happen. I may even make it happen in my pet universe.

I can, have, and will turn anything into science

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 23

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

_:Fracture Twenty-Three: The Ties That Bind

[AN: I’m not up to date on the DareDevil, aka Matthew Murdock, so I made his current assistant up out of whole cloth ^_^ Forgive me, fanboys! And gals…]

  The blind man turned to face them as they entered the room. Which was odd, because neither Kurt nor Bluebelle made a sound with their fur-padded feet.

  “Hello,” he said. “You must be Kurt and

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Challenge #00013: Verdammt!

 Kurt has laundry duty for the first time. Static cling problems ensue :3

Ororo should have known she was in trouble when she saw Kurt wandering the grounds with the laundry basket an obvious weight in his cerulean arms.

“Is there a problem?”

“Ja! Where the washing line ist? I looked everywhere, und… nothing.”

Washing line? “You didn’t see the dryer?”

“Uh. Dryers are expensive, ja? The sun and wind is free.

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Cover art wanted!

Anyone looking at my Smashwords Profile knows that my own skills at making covers for my works are very limited indeed.

I need someone with better art skills than my own (not hard) to make some covers that will actually encourage people to buy my words (tricky bit).

I also have very little in the way of income. Despite the hundred-some folks who’ve downloaded my free story, I have exactly zero folks who’ve bought anything.

I am willing

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 22

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twenty-Two: Discoveries

  Nobody ever went to the ironically misnamed “Good Eatin’” for the food. They went for the high-walled booths that guaranteed privacy and relative solitude from the world outside.

  Regulars knew not to go near the ribs.

  Earl had seen just about everything happen in those booths. Wierd, pale writer types who came to nurse a plate of chips and a drink over a bothersome manuscript. Covert, spy-like meetings between

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 21

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twenty-One: Damage Control

  A blue fuzzy digit traced across the paper. “Not. In. A. Boat… Not. In. The. Rain!”

  “Good,” said Kitty. “That’s it.”

  “I. Do. Not. Like. Them. Sam, I, Am,” Bluebelle started grinning. “I do not like green eggs and ham!”

  “Good *girl*,” Kitty gave her a hug. “Did you hear that, Kurt?”

  “Yes,

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 20

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twenty: Slow-Healing Wounds

  Kurt was halfway out of bed before his eyes opened to see where the food was.

  “*Told* you he’d like, do that,” said Kitty.

  Bluebelle hid a giggle behind two hands.

  He was back in his room. In the Institute. Safe and sound. With a brand-new family. “Liebchen! Schatz! Am I glad to see you… And the food.”

  “A gigantic economy-size portion of

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