“We already fixed that”
“Wait, we fixed it too”
“We did it last night”
“How many times has it been fixed?”
*someone tallies the numbers*
“11 times, in the last 2 months”
Job #2984QEW8: Rattle in the air duct at Left Topsy-Turvy Town.
Rael’s Finder app had flagged it because it included a box of chocolates as a bonus payment. Nobody else had tagged it as theirs, so he leaped on the opportunity.
Not that he needed chocolate, strictly speaking, but tiny parcels of calories never really went amiss. That, and he appreciated the finer things in life.
He took his Everywhere toolkit with him, as rattles could have any cause, up to and including deceased rodents tangled in cables.
The Cleaners, efficient though they were, didn’t get everything. It was a little factlet to which he owed his existence. Literally.
“Heading to East Topsy-Turvy Town?” said a fellow JOAT on the same platform. Of course they were a human. They were love with rhetorical questions.
“Rattle in the vents. Time plus chocolate.”
“Ugh,” said the human. “Do yourself a favour and run away now.”
Wait. What?
Rael deliberately got on a different carriage on the tram. After that, it was tourist-dodging until he got to the right address.
Loose cable. Easily fixed with a bit of ductape.
Less than a minute, including the time it took to remove and replace the vent cover.
The chocolates were the good kind. Naturally sourced, not printed from chemical simulations. Experts said that no-one should be able to tell the difference, but experts were wrong on that one.
People took their indulgences seriously.
*
Job #2984RBZ9: Slow fan at Left Jarbingville. Time plus 1 doz. doughnuts. Repairer picks doughnuts.
Hm. Two stops further down the tramline and a short trip relative-up by Veet. Worth a dozen iced and cream-filled. Ooo, or maybe with custard.
There was the same human JOAT at the tram station. “Slow fan at Left Jarbingville?”
“…yes?”
“Hah. Then it’s a hum at Lower Erkins, then a buzz at Upper Elemeno, and finally a glonk in Windy Passage. Then it’s back to the rattle in Left Topsy-Turvy Town. On the upside, you’re paid for life. On the downside, your rep takes a sucker-punch and you’re doing the same thing forever. It’s a Moebius repair. Run. Now.”
Rael took note, but he also kept his distance. Human insanity could easily catch. And he’d never heard of any job being flagged as a Moebius repair.
The slow fan needed a little boost to its engine. Just a little tweak and he was done. And enjoying the wickedest doughnuts ever produced by the caring hands of a Gyiik.
*
Job #2983SZC0: Annoying hum at Lower Erkins. Time plus home-cooked meal.
It was the first job he’d seen with a menu choice. But, sadly, the crazy human had called it.
This warranted some deep investigation…
*
The cable that caused the rattle powered a moving part. Directly. Stilling the cable stilled the part. Which slowed the fan. Amping the fan created the hum. Muting the hum created the buzz. Stilling the buzz created the glonk and, finally, eliminating the glonk freed the cable and started off the rattle again.
Rael undid all of the incremental repairs and wrapped some soft foam around the cable.
Moebius repair, he noted on the JOATnet, is code for “look deeper”.
It was the best flakking home-cooked meal of his life.
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