Instant Story

It turned out the galactic standard for things that screw onto other things was the opposite direction to the international Earth standard.

“What the– this screw isn’t turning.”

“It’s an old-Earth vessel.”

“Yeah? So?”

“They have it backwards. Counter-clockwise loosens their screws.”

Sigh. “Typical human insanity. How hard is it to learn ‘Counter time, fix it fine’?”

“Given the trouble they keep giving us about it? Plenty.”

“Humans…”

[Muse food remaining: 42. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

“We’re here to conquer yo-

Awww lookit the cute little fuzzy. Whooosa fuzzy.”

Sir, the aliens seem to have become distracted.

Only humans, they later said, could take a pursuit predator and make it completely servile. And for some time in the Galactic Alliance, it was something of a mystery as to where and when dogs originally hailed from.

Some refused to believe that such a useful animal could come from the same planet as “a bunch

Carbonated drinks: for most creatures, a harmless fizzy beverage.

However if your species happens to be incapable of burping to release the gas, a painful experience. Perhaps not deadly, but certainly not comfortable. 

Gox stared at the beverage. At the perpetual bubbles within. In his experience, bubbles came out and never came back.

This was one amongst the many new things he was dubious about encountering as a reluctant ambassador.

“Why do the bubbles form?”

“It’s a

Found another one

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/73661805922/buggy-heichou-rotking-johnthedragon

Walking was a problem. And it was a problem because of Boxing.

When an owner got tired of their Uplift, or the cute Bull-Terrier/Wolf pup became too big, or it chewed the furniture or peed on things or otherwise acted like a dog who the owner hadn’t bothered to train… they were put in a box, and left on a corner, and told to wait for someone to

An excellent “non-sequitur, thud”. 8.4, minus a 0.5 because you didn’t faceplant into the convenient messy food. 

When one has a real, live almost-human from Earth’s twentieth century as a resource, one can expect a certain amount of things. Revivals, for instance. Things got dredged up from the extensive lists of entertainment footage in possession of the Archivaas. T-shirts made a comeback when they really should have stayed away.

Disco came back from the

Inspired by this: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/weird/NATL-Mom-Eats-Monstrous-Steak-in-Under-3-Minutes–239490021.html

Competitive eating may have been a thing before humans or it may not have, but they certainly made it more interesting: It suddenly jumped three rating warnings, and became a spectator sport for those brave enough to watch.

The first interspecies restaurant had a glass-walled enclosure for the humans. Polarized glass walls. Those who did not wish to view human eating habits could purchase or rent shields for their

The much anticipated performance piece entitled, ‘Ask a Rude Question, Get an Honest Answer’

Naturally, it was a human who did it. The Galactic Congress, just getting used to the idea of humans as a recognised cogniscent and not a dangerous animal, attended in droves.

Even the common throng, who usually avoided ambassadorial exhibitions like the plague, attended.

Every performance was guaranteed to be unique, because every audience was a mixture of the curious and the vocal alike.

The artist sat in