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So That's What They're Up To...

Scenes from an apartment building for divinities who lack major worshiper populations. Thor complains about Sobek using all of the building’s hot water, Huitzilopochtli and Apollo are catty he-bitches to each other, and even the other Gods of Death agree that Anubis is damn creepy; that sort of thing.

(#00758 - B027)

[AN: Apologies for the eurocentrism, but I did have to do very quick research on this and finding non-european obscure gods is an exercise in frustration]

Hestia ran the apartments. As far as being a landlord was concerned, this was her heaven. She was a goddess of hearth and hospitality, and ran a family clinic on the side with some of the other fertility gods.

St Isidore teamed up with Mímir, a disembodied and mummified head, to run the internet equivalent of an advice column and were seldom seen outside of the shared meal times in the dining hall. Which was when Mímir would tell his ‘joke’ to anyone who bothered to hang around and listen to it.

“…and then Odin goes to the dwarfs and asks them nicely for them to create a new body for me, since Vanir threw a hissy fit and shredded my original corpse…”

Iris, clad in clashing spectrums of gaudy, angrily added food items from the buffet to her tray. “Mercury! Bloody Mercury. I could have been just as good for the messenger business. But no. They had to go with a dude with wings on his hat and his winkie hanging out…”

“At least you get girls named after you. All I get is the occasional side-fling in Sailor Moon episodes and scungy weeaboos using my name in vain.”

“…flaw after flaw after flaw after flaw,” Mírmir continued. “They fix the knees but the hips go wrong. They fix the hips, but the neck goes wrong. They fix the neck…”

Antevorte sighed. “Nobody is really listening and if you do finish, you’re going to get eggs thrown at you again. I’ll help.” She reached forward to soothe Iris. “It’s all right. We’re all here, hoping for our next big break. And believe me, it’s harder than it seems. You have to find a really specific niche.”

“I might have an in with crazy cat ladies,” offered Faustitas. “Hardly anybody has herds of anything, any more.”

Mímir was nearing the end of his joke. “…and finally I said - You know what? Odin can just carry me around. It’s a hell of a lot easier than returning this curse-ridden body to the shop every other day. Not that you’re not doing your best–”

The entire room chorussed, “But it’s better to quit when you’re a head.” and then half of them threw eggs at him.

[Muse food remaining: 12. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00757 - B026: The Visitor

Part of a tiny story - Unfurl by IPostAtMidnight
She usually enjoyed unfurling a fresh sheet over her bed, swishing it out like they do in those detergent commercials. Tonight, however, as the sheet settled down onto the empty mattress, it outlined the contours of a body.

It wasn’t a pleasant silhouette, either. It was the doughy shape of a man who couldn’t be bothered with himself. And further, the sheet above the body immediately stuck to pools

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Not one, but two annual anthologies filled to the brim with off-the-cuff flash fiction inspired by readers just like you!Find the stories...

Not one, but two annual anthologies filled to the brim with off-the-cuff flash fiction inspired by readers just like you!

Find the stories you want without having to plough through the entirety of my blog! Ease of use means that you can skip the stories you don’t like, or read them in any order!

Now for the convenient price of anything you want to pay!

Get your copy of One Year of Instants here! Or, if you already have it,

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Challenge #00756 - B025: That is Not a Solution

On the one hand, that is a legitimate problem.
On the other, I’m not sure I could come up with a worse solution to that problem, even if you gave me a research grant and several years.

South-Southwest Greater Deregulation.

The problem element milled around, five yards away from the electrified wiring. Just a few inches short of the raised wire that denoted the area where the guards in the tower would shoot.

They all stared at Monica in desperate hope.

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Challenge #00755 - B024: It's Just Politics

“It’s like a madhouse, designed by a succession of madmen, each with a deep hatred of their predecessors brand of madness. And it’s on fire.”

[AN: Never in my life have I been prompted to reply with a screenshot of Google asking “Did you mean ‘the Australian Government’?” But no. I am a writer. I make stories.]

Tradition is a very peculiar thing. Things begin with reason and rationality and end in farcical imitation, hundreds or thousands of

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Challenge #00754 - B023: What is Dog?

After other species have somewhat adjusted to the whole “vicious predator” == “family pet” thing, they run into this:



That is a predator larger than an adult human, whose head is roughly that man’s torso’s size.

He is a descendant of one of the scariest predators in the world casually flopped on the couch and he loves belly rubs and ear scritches and is just a big fluffy goofball that loves mauling tennis balls - well, maybe volleyballs are more appropriate,

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Challenge #00753 - B022: Attempted Poisoning

Regarding Onions: The crazy food that turns our tears into sulphuric acid. Somewhere along the way some twit must have had the following thought process.

“AARGH MY EYES IT BURNS I wonder what it tastes like”.

Somewhere in the houses of the first cities…

Ari was sick of her husband. He was cruel and vile, and rough with her in their bedchamber. He expected a cooked meal when he came home, expected it hot, but never told her when

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Challenge #00752 - B021: Tea Solves Everything

Apparently there was an old prank tv show that faked an alien landing on an English lady’s front lawn. Her immediate reaction was to offer them tea.

Your prompt is the same scenario except it’s a real ship and a couple of extraterrestrials who had to make an emergency landing instead of a prank.

Somewhere east of Cricklewood…

There was no fire. Just a sad hissing of water vapour and the gentle ‘pink pink’ noise of cooling

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Challenge #00751 - B020: When is a Troll Not a Troll?

*LOUD ANGRY-* Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so used to people getting it wrong it’s a reflex by now.

There are certain phrases that are bound to get a reaction from any fandom. Things like, “Star Trek… that’s the one with Doctor Spock, right?” or confusing Star Trek with Star Wars. Proclaiming the love for an almost universally-hated character is a good one. And for those who follow All My Daughters, the phrase, “Why

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Sensible Economic Decision

The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible economic decision that there’s no good reason to go into space - each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision.“ - Randall Munroe

[AN: I know I’ve done this twice before. Let’s see if the third is a stretch. Also, my laptop is still dead and all my progress on KFZ is in limbo. I’

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Challenge #00749 - B018: Crazy Apes

http://imgur.com/gallery/IeLuO

something based on this lovely mini-story?

Understanding the entire concept took some time. Earth bombarded the Dracs with popular media. All the stories where someone made a noble sacrifice for the greater good.

How ingrained in us it was that one life for the betterment of others was the good thing to do. How selflessness was a virtue.

The Ambassadors were horrified. Perplexed. Confused. Bemused. And overall, plain confounded.

The Dracs studied us, of course. Examined Earth

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Challenge #00748 - B017: Informed Decision

Keeping the groups that sing “Under Pressure” and “Ice Ice Baby” apart turns out not to be the hard part - the hard part is choosing which area to stay with. Do you want the eerie whispering, or the sudden heart attack?

[AN: For those wondering where this prompt came from, check out story #171 in One Leap Year of Instants, available for whatever you want on Smashwords. Please choose to pay a dollar value for this anthology]

Humans were strange creatures.

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Challenge #00747 - B016: What a Voice

Following in from the last one, the musical shenanigans of Francoeur and Kurt.

Three weeks in…

Audiences loved the acrobatics. Carlotta could have done without the post-show bickering, especially now that Todd was picking up enough French to cuss in.

But this time, the froggy mutant slunk off into the depths of backstage, distancing himself from the slightly demonic Kurt.

Carlotta followed him. She didn’t understand much English and he didn’t understand much French, but she knew instinctively that he

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Challenge #00746 - B015: Unlikely Meetings

Kurt Wagner meets Francoeur. How do Todd and Emile get on?

It was the first show that the audience ran out on. But, to be completely fair, it was the first one that included the surprise appearance of a blue, fuzzy demon and some kind of humanoid amphibian thing.

Carlotta was ticked, of course. Especially at the fact that both creatures could stick to walls and ceilings, far out of reach of the diminutive cabaret hostess. There was something of a flap

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Challenge #00745 - B014: Baldie

B’rka, the adventures of a goose Numidid with no feathers  (For the prompt inspiration, see Borka)

The chick had been left in her nest. It was weak and cold and hungry. Serka knew that she didn’t have the time to call emergency services. And, since it was night, there was a high likelihood that they wouldn’t turn up until morning. By which time it would be far too late for the newly-hatched keet.

She could see why

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