Amalgam Universe

T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants...

T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants to learn all about the various venomous, poisonous, and outright deadly life forms on a land mass named Toxic Island, you can almost see why. Little did she know that when she committed her life to the study of this strange and hostile land, there was already a colony of monsters setting up housekeeping. Now she’s face-to-face with the most dangerous life form in the known universe, and desperately trying to forge peace with the horrible creatures twice her size and four times her weight! They call themselves… HUMANS! [We’re mostly harmless, we swear.]

Going cheap (pardon the pun) at Smashwords!

Challenge #00756 - B025: That is Not a Solution

On the one hand, that is a legitimate problem.
On the other, I’m not sure I could come up with a worse solution to that problem, even if you gave me a research grant and several years.

South-Southwest Greater Deregulation.

The problem element milled around, five yards away from the electrified wiring. Just a few inches short of the raised wire that denoted the area where the guards in the tower would shoot.

They all stared at Monica in desperate hope.

Challenge #00755 - B024: It's Just Politics

“It’s like a madhouse, designed by a succession of madmen, each with a deep hatred of their predecessors brand of madness. And it’s on fire.”

[AN: Never in my life have I been prompted to reply with a screenshot of Google asking “Did you mean ‘the Australian Government’?” But no. I am a writer. I make stories.]

Tradition is a very peculiar thing. Things begin with reason and rationality and end in farcical imitation, hundreds or thousands of

Challenge #00754 - B023: What is Dog?

After other species have somewhat adjusted to the whole “vicious predator” == “family pet” thing, they run into this:

That is a predator larger than an adult human, whose head is roughly that man’s torso’s size.

He is a descendant of one of the scariest predators in the world casually flopped on the couch and he loves belly rubs and ear scritches and is just a big fluffy goofball that loves mauling tennis balls - well, maybe volleyballs are more appropriate,

Challenge #00752 - B021: Tea Solves Everything

Apparently there was an old prank tv show that faked an alien landing on an English lady’s front lawn. Her immediate reaction was to offer them tea.

Your prompt is the same scenario except it’s a real ship and a couple of extraterrestrials who had to make an emergency landing instead of a prank.

Somewhere east of Cricklewood…

There was no fire. Just a sad hissing of water vapour and the gentle ‘pink pink’ noise of cooling

Challenge #00751 - B020: When is a Troll Not a Troll?

*LOUD ANGRY-* Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so used to people getting it wrong it’s a reflex by now.

There are certain phrases that are bound to get a reaction from any fandom. Things like, “Star Trek… that’s the one with Doctor Spock, right?” or confusing Star Trek with Star Wars. Proclaiming the love for an almost universally-hated character is a good one. And for those who follow All My Daughters, the phrase, “Why

Challenge #00748 - B017: Informed Decision

Keeping the groups that sing “Under Pressure” and “Ice Ice Baby” apart turns out not to be the hard part - the hard part is choosing which area to stay with. Do you want the eerie whispering, or the sudden heart attack?

[AN: For those wondering where this prompt came from, check out story #171 in One Leap Year of Instants, available for whatever you want on Smashwords. Please choose to pay a dollar value for this anthology]

Humans were strange creatures.

Comparative...Let's Say 'Humor'

Shortly after encountering the Numidid, someone makes the inevitable “Numididn’t” joke.

(#00744 - B013)

“I am Numidid,” said Ambassador Su'sin, offering her hand.

The newly-minted Ambassador for the Consortium of Steam immediately struck a pose and said, “Oh nu-mi-di-en’t…”

One of the other members of the Consortium of Steam smacked hirself in the face at that. “We’re being ambassadors, today…”

“I don’t understand,” pleaded Su'sin.

Challenge #00742 - B011: You Stole What?

To paraphrase Die Hard:

“Now I have a Death Star. Ho Ho Ho.”

“This is your claim. A dwarf planet in a Sargasso. Big whoop.”

“It’s not a dwarf planet,” said Lenn Ybalius. She was busy watching her controls and making certain she piloted her way in on certain vectors.

“Oh, you hijacked a moon,” singsonged Prella. She had a low opinion of her business partner. “That’s above your usual standards.

Challenge #00741 - B010: Not Quite MST3K

“Guys! Guys! I have a loaded machine pistol in my hand and I have no idea what I’m doing!”

Shayde giggled. “Awright. That one had a point. The goal is tae make fun of the movie, not the common hollywood tropes, ye ken.”

“It’s still fun,” argued a SPOEn who called herself Molly Ringwald.

“Aye, it is tha’.” She pointed at the screen. “BOOM! Take a shot!” She

Challenge #00739 - B008: Havenworlders V Humans

Hypothetically, a universe where keratin (our hair and fingernails) is a rare and valuable resource. Accounting for the sugar walls from a previous story it would potentially be considered a strong, nonreactive material.

Seeing humans with it on must be like watching someone walk around with steel-tipped claws and spun-titanium jewellery. Yeah it’s a small fortune but a) the person it’s attached to must be scary as all get-out and b) it’s practically a weapon in its own

Challenge #00737 - B006: Fighting Words

“Veni Ad Me Frat”, Latin for “Come At Me, Bro”.

Shayde sighed as Rael caught her out again. “No? How about ‘non me tracagnum’?”

“Don’t beat me,” said Rael. “How about you stop pulling your Hackmeyer strategies, lay off the BS, and talk like a scientist to these people?”

“It’s hard,” Shayde whined. “I’m too used tae no’ being listened

Challenge #00736 - B005: Do We Need Them?

A friend and I, up in tropical Queensland on holiday - land of my birth. We are being buzzed by flies large enough to need Air Traffic Control, and slowly being drained of blood by the clouds of mozzies. The following conversation does not reflect any of my actual views. It was borne of frustration and humour.

Me: -slap- Hey, do we need flies for anything? Like, do they perform a vital role in the ecosystem or something?
Friend (amused): Yeah, I