Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Have you ever read Seanan McGuire's work? It seems up your alley. Also, I would really be curious to see what happened if Sarah Adrien met...

[AN: Hooray. More reading list. I’m still ploughing through Allomancy on a paragraph-a-day basis]

(#00281)

Sarah thought she was done for, this time. The Criptid creature had been inches away from having her head for a snack. But then, something invisible turned the tables in a more permanent eye-for-an-eye fashion by literally bashing its head off with a big stick.

Sarah recovered her weapon and dealt with the last few stragglers.

The invisible thing faded into view.

“All bad guys dead?”

The figure had aqua skin and a really horrible olive-khaki swimsuit and matching utility belt and shoes. The short brown hair could have belonged to any gender, but this being somehow still read as feminine.

“Yeah…?” Sarah kept her weapon ready. “What are you?”

“Mostly harmless, I swear,” the aqua girl did something to her metal staff that reduced it to the size of a can of soda. “Sara Louise Adrien. Unfortunately feeling the chill. In a minute or two I’ll go into survival mode and my higher capacities will shut down completely. I apologise in advance for the singing.”

“Singing,” Sarah repeated. If things couldn’t get weirder, then she was a wasp in the body of a human and fighting members of her own kind to stop them eating humanity. Oh wait.

“One of my directives. When in doubt. Sing. My compatriots can track me down by my, and I quote, ‘weirdo dinosaur music’.” A deep breath. A stretch. A sigh. “Okay. Objective, eliminate bad guys. Done. Orientation. Uhm…” The sky was overcast. The trees were covered in goo, not moss, and everywhere looked like everywhere else.

“Downhill and downstream?” suggested Sarah.

“I have an app for this!”

Hooray. She had an iPhone.

{dodoonk!}

“Siri. Show me the way to go home.”

It took them three hills before she started singing the rest of the song. By then, Sarah had found out about the third O (orders: don’t die) which contained an essence of useless utility.

“Time for a different song?” Sarah begged. The cold was getting to her. “One written this century?”

“Who am I? Who am I? But a sound. Of. Tomorrow!”

Technically correct. Pity Sarah had no real love of steampunk. Soon, the allies would find them.

Please, merciful Universe, let it be soon.

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See where this bit of commenting takes you...

“I feel like I am just footsteps away from either screaming in fury or breaking down into body-shaking tears… and I’m not sure which.  But you’d never tell it by looking at me.  I’m good at bottling things up and repressing my reactions.  For a while anyway; every bottle breaks eventually, no matter how sturdy its glass.  I don’t know when I began this habit, or why I keep doing it, but

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Challenge #00279: Welcome Walter's Metal Men

Steam Powered Giraffe are in the x-verse, only they’re really mechanical men (made by someone with Forge-like skill) or living-metal mutants (similar to Colossus). Your choice.

“Sara… What the hell?”

“Dun ma'e me smi'e…” Sara said, drawing on her face with metallic paint. She was wearing, amongst other things, a corset, a frilly skirt, striped stockings, and accessories apparently made of gears.

“You know you can just program your holographic emitter to do

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Challenge #00278: Den of Iniquity

Jacqui, the blackie, the lackey named Pertwee (and yes I know she’s a she! :P) and the almost comical bond formed watching the terrorist let loose in a crafts store.

[AN: Can we not have racist (or any –ist) words in submissions, please? No matter how cute it might be that it rhymes, it is not a nice word.]

John Smith had come to catch the mutant out. He still suspected that Scott Summers was somehow cheating, even after

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Norwegian TV Station to Air Five Straight Hours of Competitive Knitting

Norwegian TV Station to Air Five Straight Hours of Competitive Knitting

betterbemeta:

catawampuscreations:

tobbun:

*sheds tear* My country!

...so it's a knitting Triathlon?

This is

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"Awwwww!!!"

Good idea, wrong innovator. Bonus if you can use a member of the new recruits not normally given a starring role. Details please.

(#00277)

{trickle trickle trickle trickle DOONK}

Jamie leaned back in appreciation. He made it work! He made something work! And it was beautiful.

“What the hell, Squirt?”

“It’s an office meditation toy,” he announced. Sure, this one was made out of whatever he could scrounge, but the finished product… was going to

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Challenge #00276: Peck of Dust, Dust, Dust...

Dust.

People tend to think about the big things, when it comes to the perils of space travel. Meteors. Solar flares. Stresses on the air tanks. Sparks in unwanted places.

Few ever ponder that a crew might encounter trouble with their own epithelial cloud.

Five year missions were the maximum, after the trouble had been discovered, of course. People who got dandruff either had to shave (carefully!), vacuum, or pass on the idea of going into space in the first place.

Filters

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Challenge #00275: On the Folly of Tailored Worlds

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that’s a bore. Eh?

Worlds can not be built. That sort of thing takes millions of years, and no known cogniscents are willing to wait that long.

They can, however, be tailored.

The most famous group for doing this are the Archivaas. A human-descended cult of collecting, collating, storing and sorting records and information of all kinds. As a preventative measure against data loss, post Shattering, much akin to

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Challenge #00274: Anomalous Behavior

21 years ago there was a container spilt at sea containing thousands of bright yellow rubber duckies as well as frogs and turtles. Scientists are still using the data from where they are found to make better charts of ocean currents and point out anomalies and there were notices posted on loads of beaches of a number to call and where to find the duck’s serial number to make sure it was from the spill.

Most have been recovered, but

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Reblog with your pin-up self!

thegoddamazon:

sharlynegger:

thecouscousqueen:

afrogrrrlxvx:

lifeslittle:

thewearhaus:

ppowercunt:

mxtori:

razycrandomcunt:

nerd-do-well:

The Deluxe Pin-up dollmaker is out now. c:

Make your own here

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i gave mine a mustache because i am a boy. 

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Too accurate.

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awwwwyeeeeeeaahh

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…Assuming I lost all fat (and possibly some internal organs) and about 20 years… I might look a little like that. Maybe.

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transhumanisticpanspermia: stfuconservatives: theghostofyourliess: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister of Australia kicking ass and...

transhumanisticpanspermia:

stfuconservatives:

theghostofyourliess:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister of Australia kicking ass and taking names (mostly Tony Abbott’s.

Easily one of my favorite moments of 2012.

The fact that she’s a prime minister and not a president makes this even more awesome.

That means that she’s actually taking a risk with this speech - she’s speaking to the people with the power to boot her out of office at the drop of a hat.

But she decided

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Mundane Utility: The Sequel

Expanding on the previous challenge, why not show how some other mutants with fantastic superhuman powers use their incredible abilities for decidedly non-incredible things?  Pick at least two.  Oh, but not obvious/overdone stuff like Jean using her TK as an extra hand - be creative. – Josh

(#00273)

“This is my popcorn,” Lance protested. “You want some, go make your own.”

“But I’m hungry now,” protested Freddy.

Todd used his prehensile tongue to

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