Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for the former human inhabitants, after all. Fresh water. Plenty of hunting opportunities. Fertile and arable land. Everything a settlement could desire.

And a nice population of subjugated natives to use as informants. These humans lived in an elevated structure they had made themselves, following the great plague. Well above the level of the land.

It took a few seasons to figure out why.

After the spring floods, which washed away half the colony and ruined the other half, came what the natives called gayturz in their guttural tongue. Giant lizards that camouflaged as driftwood, and could move like lightning in the abundant water.

Native humans ate them. And wore them. And used their bones and teeth as both decoration and tools.

But that wasn't the worst of it.

The rebuilding Tyrvaki colony was beset by another plague. They had drafted a native occupant with the barbaric native name of Klee-duss to assist with the engineering of new colony buildings on stilts.

Kal'rii ignored the human's advice to get indoors during the fading light. She dismissed it as typical male whining and a childish fear of the dark. Klee-duss also implored for the use of foul-smelling smokes and candles to keep away what Kal'rii imagined were fictitious foul spirits.

She also ignored Klee-duss adding layers to himself and smearing himself with foul potions. Typical ignorant native. They would learn to function under Tyrvaki rule or they would naturally die out.

As the artificial lighting came on, the whine began. Some small insect, no doubt. Annoying, but it could be ignored in favour of the surviving colony. No doubt, these tiny whining insects were the 'foul spirits' that had Klee-duss smacking himself in childish ignorance of the truth.

Kal'rii continued until the end of her shift, and retreated to the keeper-space she shared with Klee-duss, his surviving family, and -sadly- his foul potions against the bad spirits. Kal'rii slept in her breather mask that night.

And woke to devastation.

She was feeling unwell, and parts of her body itched where raised welts stretched her skin. The rest of the colony, especially the workers from the evening, was worse than unwell. Some were unrecognisable because of the proliferation of welts all over their bodies. Many had died. Many were near death.

"Tol' j'all t' get n'daws," slurred Klee-duss. He repeated himself as best he could in broken Tyrvakk. "I warn for inside. Many many."

"You know what caused this plague?" said Kal'rii.

"Yah. Skeeturz." He clapped one out of the air and showed her the smashed remains. Including the tiny smear of Tyrvakk blood still in its guts. "They gots d'zeaz in 'em. Plague blood go in guts."

2)

The second Tyrvaki colony, despite its own woes, sent a combat unit to investigate the sudden lack of communication from the first colony.

What they found in the ruins made for true horror. Proper Tyrvakk architecture was ruined or washed away by Terran flooding. Half-built hybrid architecture and temporary shelters alike were left abandoned to the invasive Kudzu plant.

And a little space away from the skeleton-infested ruins, a slightly larger human settlement contained the slim remains of the first colony.

Their leader, an engineer named Kal'rii, had gone both insane and native. She wore the gayturz skins and the foul potions that the natives of the Terran Naw'linz tribe used to ward off evil spirits. The few Tryvakk survivors had also adopted the natives' ways.

Their minds were clearly gone. They begged hysterically for the troops to join them in the elevated human buildings. Pleaded desperately for them to use the foul potions and gagging smokes. All while her human helper-pet quietly murmured to her in his barbaric, guttural tongue.

The troops, according to their logs, attempted to rebuild the colony buildings in a clear attempt to lure the mind-shattered colonists back to sensible technology and comfort. There were reports -unbelievable reports- of gigantic, flesh-eating lizards that sprang from the water and were gone with a Tyrvakk trooper in instants. And there were other reports of a high-pitched whine that travelled in the night air.

Those were the last reports of Tyrvakk infantry unit 547. Scout drones later investigated to find that every last soldier had perished.

The human assistants for Colony Two were unhelpful. They suggested, in broken Tyrvakk, that perhaps the efforts at colonisation were cursed. But of course the Tyrvaki were from the most advanced and rational of civilisations, and were immune to that superstitious nonsense.

But the Tyrvaki death count still rose...

(Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Deeeeeeep breaths...

I have an old slanguage term from my childhood days of shaking off disease. It's 'dishraggy'. As in, feeling like a limp, slightly greasy, overdue for a wash, dishrag.

It's a very floppy feeling. The effort to raise an arm is barely worth it. The greasiness resides in the soul, and can't be washed out with all the hot bubblebaths in the world.

So, in short, I am feeling 'better'. For limited definitions of 'better. I'm more mentally prepared to be functional,

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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I hate this firkin spiral

Depression sucks. Spoonlessness sucks. I have no energy because I have the sads. I have the sads because I feel like I let everyone down. I let everyone down because I lack the energy to do things for everyone. I lack the energy to do things for myself.

Down and down I go
Round and round I go
In a spin...

Well it ain't that old black magic called love, that's for sure. I know where I'm headed and it isn't a

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Urggh, I feel GROOOOSSSSSS

There's a cartoon that's shared often on Tumblr, and I relate to it greatly today.

Original Post

In my case, I've got anxiety, depression, and malaise all queueing up behind the aches and pains. Along with the usual self-doubt and defeatism that makes my life such a fun, rollercoaster-esque, dizzying, mad whirl 9_9

And in the back of my head, there's this firkin annoying little optimist who insists that I can do the thing because it will be "such fun". Yeah

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Challenge #01339-C244: Signed, Sealed, and Ignored

If you write a letter of complaint or ask questions by handwritten letter, the recipient is duty bound to answer. Really good way to keep "The Hired Help" aka Politicians and Bureaucrats on their toes. -- Knitnan

Dear Employee, wrote Carval Seng. Letters that started like this were never a good sign for the recipient.

Seng wrote carefully and distinctly about the lack of maintenance between elections, of how people in hir district would like to see the orange of maintenance uniforms

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Fargnax!

MeMum actually rang and insisted that we couldn't come over and fix her computer, including the issues she had with a naughty printer because of the vital importance of copying important documents from it by hand.

Read that over a few times and try to unriddle it, because I am firkin lost.

If only there was an easier way to get those things. Like... having a device that could print copies on demand. But obviously the need for having copies of documents

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Challenge #01338-C243: Inconvenience Job

The dreaded 5 minute job. Almost always guaranteed to blossom into hours of frustration and searching for the 'right' tools. -- Knitnan

Time is money. Literally. Citizens of the Galactic Alliance pay for things in increments of time. And since the humans came along, some money has names.

For unknown reasons, five Minutes is a Zac. Ten Minutes is a Bob, and Thirty Minutes is known as the Five-Minute Job.

Human nicknames will forever confuse other cogniscents.

But not those cogniscents who

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Teh PLN

MeMum's compy has been going do-lally and not behaving according to wants. And there was mention of clicking a pop-up... which might mean virii have been installed.

But then again, MeMum is legendary with technological incompetence, and could not properly install the last virus. For all I know, everything is (a) hunky, (b) dory, and, (c) not plugged in properly (again).

Nevertheless, I am installing a damn add blocker. I know some good ones. And so does Beloved.

The little darlings have

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Challenge #01337-C242: Unnecessary Invention

It's not only necessity, it's wire coat hangers, paper clips, and to quote Thomas Edison, "All you need to be an inventor is Imagination and a pile of junk." -- Knitnan

[AN: Edison probably stole that line from Tesla ;) ]

Station residents called it the Labyrinth, if they knew about it at all. Every station that's been around long enough acquires a zone that fades through neglect and into an area where people who don't want to be found are wont to hide.

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I overdid it yesterday

I'm still not over this blasted bug, but I'm over enough to think that I can get back to healthy life.

In this case - it was a trip to the local shops to replace some foods and obtain a new potato chipper. You know the ones. The grid of blades that you feet spuds through and turn them into chips.

I was planning to use it on carrots, but that's not the story.

One trip to Woolies and one mall-crawl that

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Challenge #01336-C241: Humans!

"Failure is always an option" -- OohLookShiny

"Look. It was either try it, or give up and die," said Kel.

"There was still a chance for death to not be an option," argued K'niith.

"Yes. And I took it."

"I meant," sighed K'niith, "that there was a chance that did not involve your insane gravity games."

Kel folded her arms. "It's called 'parkour' and it's a form of art."

"It's suicidal insanity, is what it is, you could have broken every bone

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Foam, foam, I'm deranged

If you sung that title, then you might be capable of sharing my headspace right now. Because I have my digital copy of Quintessential by Steam Powered Giraffe. Get your copy today!

I am feeling the love today. This one album of 12 songs is going to be my soundtrack for quite a bit because I'm one of those nerds who listens to one album until it makes everyone else's ears bleed.

The band has continued the fine tradition of creating songs

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Challenge #01335-C240: Indomitable

"1... 2... 3..."

Crash

"Now we know it's three seconds deep!" -- OohLookShiny

Humans. The Ch'voth had been essentially using them as cannon fodder for a passage of months before they realised two things:

First - humans were extremely hard to kill.

Second - their primary method of finding answers seemed to be 'throw things at it'.

It didn't matter what the question was. They would throw things at it. The Ch'voth theorised that most of their science evolved in the same

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