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Humans are Insane

A 50-post collection

Challenge #01718-D257: Where Angels Fear

[Name] is a professional adventurer/planet saver with extremely acute hearing. The other speaker is their much calmer and more logical, though not necessarily smarter, best friend)

[Name] buried the pillow over their head and groaned.

“I can’t tell if those are gunshots or fireworks,” they whined.

“Do not be silly, [Name]. Fireworks are illegal on this planet.” -- RecklessPrudence

There's a reason why Iman Goodboy spends most of her time in her livesuit. She could control how much of the surrounding volume got to her. She's a Nufurria expatriate, part bat, part wolf, and one hundred percent my friend. Most people who know me know why my nickname of 'Ghost' fits like a glove. Some people are the quiet types. Me? I'm so quiet and bland that I can usually infiltrate places by walking through the front door. Iman can hear me, but I'm... comfortable for her.

Everything else... isn't.

Poor Iman was made to be a soldier, but Nufurria was rediscovered and then sanctioned just after she was born. Excitement-seeking behaviour is literally in her DNA. So when she was given her freedom payoff, she got to derring-do as soon as she could. She's got quite the reputation, now. Almost a decade later. But sometimes? People do not want her saving the day. That's what happened at the colony known as Freedom.

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Challenge #01715-D254: Beautiful Downtown Babel

It was gridlocked regularly, so they added another lane. Then more cars and trucks came. -- Knitnan

Once, there was a city. It was by a natural port, so it grew with the aim of trade in mind. The lanes and byways were made by horses and the places where people thought it would be convenient to have a building. Cars came, and things changed. Narrow little lanes that could afford a horse became places to build. Wide lanes became wider. Traffic

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Challenge #01713-D252: A Lesson For All

"Bellringer Sale! 80% off". Then the bell began to ring. -- Anon Guest

The luckless staffmember ringing the bell was on a stone plinth that served most of its time as a display area that could also be sat upon if a shopper was desperate enough. The shoppers were not desperate for a seat, right now. What they were desperate for was a bargain.

A rolling sea of humanity, flooding the area. A surge made of pure greed.

There were no staff

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Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

"Crazy glue one hundred and one uses. Also known as Super Glue." -- Anon Guest

People were urgently patching holes after the micrometeor impacts. Smaller, slow-leaking holes were already patched with the humans' ever-present gum, albeit temporarily. For larger holes, they were grabbing whatever could fit and welding, bolting, and fastening as fast as they could.

Only the ships' human was using a tiny little tube before just... adding things.

Captain Farz had to admit the human was working quickly, but... what

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Challenge #01704-D243: Collateral Self-sacrifice

Humans as the S&R species/Space!Rescue Dogs (I know you've seen the first part dozens of times, but this is a different chain of posts, that goes a different way) -- RecklessPrudence

Everyone knows that humans are indomitable. Against level five or above Deathworlders[1], they are dogged and determined. Against disaster, they have a thousand ways to triumph. Even the most mundane of their species has exhibited what they call hysterical strength in times of ultimate stress.

But

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Challenge #01702-D241: Persistent Belief

Why would you... even need to hoax a moon.

Like, if you had that ability. Why would you then do it. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the realms of human insanity, the Flat Earth Society genuinely takes every cake. The lengths to which they would go to maintain an obviously disprovable belief are beyond Galactic credulity.

Frax had the misfortune to be seated next to a member of them on the way to Whistlestop Station. And this human would not be quiet about

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Challenge #01689-D228: Unfortunate Blindness of Today

Nitpicking the small faults and details and eroding the Grand Design. -- Anon Guest

There was no doubt that it was beautiful. Sweeping curves and soaring arches. Every surface in the simulated model glittered with solar panels. Plants hung from gardens on every floor. Wind turbines adorned the rooftops.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and anyone I missed," announced the designer, "I give you the residence structure of tomorrow. We can build this with extant technology, and improve the city environment one building at a

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Challenge #01680-D219: Rockit Launch 'n' BBQ

Actual thing said over the ruins of a test engine that had found a new fuel mix too spicy for it: "Whall, rocket fuel is kinda like a chain saw. If it warn't dangerous, it wouldn't be very useful." -- RecklessPrudence

People make assumptions. That much was natural. You see the way someone dresses. You hear the way they speak. You assume things about the rest of them. Most of those things are wrong. Katie Walker had learned this and used it

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Challenge #01677-D216: Hobby Fallout

[Title: Obstacle Course] Some are carefully planned to stretch our physical strength. Some just happen. -- Knitnan

Storm season on Hitizzy was never fun. Especially when the storms hit both in space and on the surface of the planet. It was said that Hitizzy was a place everyone got into, once in a while, but the weather rarely got the people in Hitizzy, into a tizzy. Except for this one time.

Everyone knew that attempts at weather control always ended badly, so

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Challenge #01672-D211: Friendly Welcome

"Oh, and if you have to ask yourself, is [Person] fucking with me? The answer is always yes,” he says, and ahead of them [Person] cackles and gives a little fistpump in the air. -- RecklessPrudence

Most humans, when elevated to the status of Ambassador, acquire an air of caution. A weight to their words as if they know that they hold the fate of their homeworld in their hands. Almost all of them approach becoming an Ambassador as cautiously as they

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Challenge #01637-D176: The Last Beauty Contest

Alien species may not have the same standards of "Beauty" as us humans. Beauty contest for alien species . Maybe the Alien equivalent of the types who watch wet T shirt contests? -- Knitnan

Of all the wide and varied species in the known universe, only Humans are insane enough to judge each other based strictly on a narrow and nigh-unachievable set of aesthetics, and give people prizes for adhering to them. This has baffled the Greater Galactic Alliance, especially when some human

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Challenge #01635-D174: The Most Unsuitable Food of All

Further to the "cotton candy" prompt, more empty calories of the "moment on the lips" variety. -- Anon Guest

Humans had a knack for making foods that could kill them, Rael reflected. Often within twenty consecutive servings. Not that anyone ever tried to end their lives that way, but the potential was there.

Take cheesecake, for example. And Rael often did. In one neat package, humanity had managed to encapsulate a nigh-lethal combination of fats and sugars. That should have been plenty

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Challenge #01632-D171: Magical Memories

Smells, scents, can trigger memories. The hot tar smell of a Summer road combined with the distinctive scent of an Ice Cream Van. Opening a drawer and the scent your Grandmother always wore wafting up. Memories. -- Anon Guest

Humans can trigger their memories with an astonishing amount of things. Words, sensations in their pliable skin, sounds... and smells. They are so entangled into their senses that they have adapted their livesuits to give them sensory feedback from their surrounding environment.

Radiation

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Challenge #01626-D165: A Conversation About the Greater Deregulations

"Is this an argument you actually want to win?"

"No, but - "

"Then stop talking about it," -- RecklessPrudence

"But it's still an issue," countered Praal. "There are entire planets dedicated to hatred and spite."

"And you would stop them with more hatred and spite?"

"No, but--"

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Challenge #01618-D157: Worms?

Earworms, those tunes that get into your head and drive you nuts, from jingles to inane pop tunes. -- Anon Guest

There was something wrong with Human Steve. All the K'shardi could detect it, even those who were not skilled at detecting flaws in the ship's human. It was the way that Human Steve kept wincing and flinching that set everyone on edge.

Humans were Deathworlders. Deathworlders were very hard to permanently harm. Therefore, anything that annoyed a Deathworlder had to be

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