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Humans are Insane

A 44-post collection

Challenge #01689-D228: Unfortunate Blindness of Today

Nitpicking the small faults and details and eroding the Grand Design. -- Anon Guest

There was no doubt that it was beautiful. Sweeping curves and soaring arches. Every surface in the simulated model glittered with solar panels. Plants hung from gardens on every floor. Wind turbines adorned the rooftops.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and anyone I missed," announced the designer, "I give you the residence structure of tomorrow. We can build this with extant technology, and improve the city environment one building at a time. We can also solve some of the food crisis with gardens and mini-gardens. Which will also alleviate the smog issues. The solar panels and turbines would provide more than enough energy to run two of these buildings, if fully occupied. Thereby solving the energy crisis and reducing the carbon footprint."

The board was not impressed. One spoke up. "Those ramps take up too much room. And you only need one stairwell for emergencies."

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Challenge #01680-D219: Rockit Launch 'n' BBQ

Actual thing said over the ruins of a test engine that had found a new fuel mix too spicy for it: "Whall, rocket fuel is kinda like a chain saw. If it warn't dangerous, it wouldn't be very useful." -- RecklessPrudence

People make assumptions. That much was natural. You see the way someone dresses. You hear the way they speak. You assume things about the rest of them. Most of those things are wrong. Katie Walker had learned this and used it

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Challenge #01677-D216: Hobby Fallout

[Title: Obstacle Course] Some are carefully planned to stretch our physical strength. Some just happen. -- Knitnan

Storm season on Hitizzy was never fun. Especially when the storms hit both in space and on the surface of the planet. It was said that Hitizzy was a place everyone got into, once in a while, but the weather rarely got the people in Hitizzy, into a tizzy. Except for this one time.

Everyone knew that attempts at weather control always ended badly, so

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Challenge #01672-D211: Friendly Welcome

"Oh, and if you have to ask yourself, is [Person] fucking with me? The answer is always yes,” he says, and ahead of them [Person] cackles and gives a little fistpump in the air. -- RecklessPrudence

Most humans, when elevated to the status of Ambassador, acquire an air of caution. A weight to their words as if they know that they hold the fate of their homeworld in their hands. Almost all of them approach becoming an Ambassador as cautiously as they

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Challenge #01637-D176: The Last Beauty Contest

Alien species may not have the same standards of "Beauty" as us humans. Beauty contest for alien species . Maybe the Alien equivalent of the types who watch wet T shirt contests? -- Knitnan

Of all the wide and varied species in the known universe, only Humans are insane enough to judge each other based strictly on a narrow and nigh-unachievable set of aesthetics, and give people prizes for adhering to them. This has baffled the Greater Galactic Alliance, especially when some human

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Challenge #01635-D174: The Most Unsuitable Food of All

Further to the "cotton candy" prompt, more empty calories of the "moment on the lips" variety. -- Anon Guest

Humans had a knack for making foods that could kill them, Rael reflected. Often within twenty consecutive servings. Not that anyone ever tried to end their lives that way, but the potential was there.

Take cheesecake, for example. And Rael often did. In one neat package, humanity had managed to encapsulate a nigh-lethal combination of fats and sugars. That should have been plenty

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Challenge #01632-D171: Magical Memories

Smells, scents, can trigger memories. The hot tar smell of a Summer road combined with the distinctive scent of an Ice Cream Van. Opening a drawer and the scent your Grandmother always wore wafting up. Memories. -- Anon Guest

Humans can trigger their memories with an astonishing amount of things. Words, sensations in their pliable skin, sounds... and smells. They are so entangled into their senses that they have adapted their livesuits to give them sensory feedback from their surrounding environment.

Radiation

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Challenge #01626-D165: A Conversation About the Greater Deregulations

"Is this an argument you actually want to win?"

"No, but - "

"Then stop talking about it," -- RecklessPrudence

"But it's still an issue," countered Praal. "There are entire planets dedicated to hatred and spite."

"And you would stop them with more hatred and spite?"

"No, but--"

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Challenge #01618-D157: Worms?

Earworms, those tunes that get into your head and drive you nuts, from jingles to inane pop tunes. -- Anon Guest

There was something wrong with Human Steve. All the K'shardi could detect it, even those who were not skilled at detecting flaws in the ship's human. It was the way that Human Steve kept wincing and flinching that set everyone on edge.

Humans were Deathworlders. Deathworlders were very hard to permanently harm. Therefore, anything that annoyed a Deathworlder had to be

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Challenge #01610-D149: Long Live the Leader

A single powerful person who is convinced of their own Rightness with no thought of introspection or means of restraint is dangerous, moreso to others than to themselves. -- Anon Guest

Jack didn't just believe in the Leader. He had a firm and unwavering Belief in the leader. Jack was wont to Believe with all his heart and soul. Though he still prayed to the God of the holy works, the Leader was the next best thing to a foretold coming. The

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Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

"You place too much trust in me, I think."

"Until you can place more trust in yourself you may rely on mine in you." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael got the shock of his life just being invited to someone else's home. Five seconds inside the door, he got one big enough to turn his entire body silver.

Officer Lyr Marken, Subchief of Security for the JOAT sector of the Elemeno, had just handed him her infant daughter. With nothing more than a negligent,

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Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

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Challenge #01588-D127: Culture Clash

how to be a good (Insert name here) Citizen. Let's hear it from one of the Lizard cultures. --Knitnan

"And who's your daddy, little one?"

Preek didn't understand the human's question. She had never known the word before this moment. "I have a Pripa and a Seppa[1]."

"I have trouble with all these new words," confessed the human. "It's so confusing. What's wrong with 'he' and 'she' and 'mommy' and 'daddy'?"

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Challenge #01586-D125: Not the Best Intentions

The "nanny" in "nanny state" isn't for you. They're to keep the oligarchs from trashing every toy in the nursery and peeing on the ceiling. -- RecklessPrudence

"What this new world needs is the elimination of this Nanny State!"

Those who the government selected to start this world in their own image... reacted exactly as they should. They cheered and hooted and eventually overthrew the people who stood for reason and regulation. Those who stood to gain the most did indeed gain.

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Challenge #01568-D107: I Play to Relax, Damnit!

There was, after all, mad science to be done. Although it was only really mildly deranged science. -- RecklessPrudence

Curses filled the air. Since Amy wasn't one to curse, Tess left her bread in progress to investigate. "What's going on?"

"Therapy," said Amy. "I got recommended this... Minecraft... as a means to relax, but... this stupid stuff doesn't have any logic to it."

Tess finished drying her hands so she could lean on Amy's shoulder. Peering at the window, she read, "Redstone?

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