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A 900-post collection

Challenge #00241: Household Gods

Papier-mache elves.

He knew he shouldn’t ask. Technically speaking, anything that kept Shayde busy and not in anyone’s business was a good thing. Anything that kept her out of Sherlock’s notice was wonderful.

Apart from the fact that Sherlock now had her on his permanent watch list, and her alarming habit this time had been buying the cheapest paper and glue available. Which meant she was up to something.

Which meant Rael, once again, had to go, find out, and presumably stop it before it got on anyone else. Or, at the very least, tone it down to the level of minor nuisance.

Which was why he was watching Shayde apply bits of glue-soaked cellulose to a wire frame. The purpose of this was completely beyond him. Obviously, it was a form of art, since art was defined as activity without purpose, sometimes creating objects without purpose in the process.

This? This just looked like a mess.

But he had to ask.

“What are you doing?”

“Makin’ papier mache elves.”

“Elves…” he echoed. One, evidently, had a tail.

“Aye, I couldnae find the ones I was after. Bloody seeker kept sendin’ me tae the Mythos Embassy. When it weren’t sendin’ me tae the Cogniscent Rights office.”

Ah. Of course. ‘Elf’ had changed its meaning in the years she’d been jaunting through other dimensions. There were the Elves of planet Mythos, descendants of gengineered humans with pointy ears, longer lifespans, and tongue-clotting beauty on their side. And then there were ELFs, Engineered Life Forms like himself, the Skitties and, regrettably, his Wave of the Future gene-cousins, the Cleaners.

“So… you’re making… idols?”

“If that makes sense to ye, aye.” She picked up a small, stick-like tool and worked some fine detail into the glue-moistened paper. “I’m tryin’ tae make a home here, ye ken. And it’s not home without some little elves.” A crooked smile that meant that inside, she wasn’t smiling at all. “Me mum had a bitty collection. Elves from around the world. An’ she tole me the story, when I was little, about the cobbler and the little elves… So I’m makin’ the entire set. Celtic, German, French, Swiss, Russian, Tolkein, Pini, Cockrum…” A sick little laugh meant to stave off tears. “Ev'ry elf there ever was. In mem'ry o’ memum…” The laugh failed just as her voice did, and a thick tear fell down her ebon face like a meteor in the night, falling to a planet.

Homesick. It was a word he never understood. He never had any place where he knew he belonged, not even now. And the cure, a visit, was not even plausible. Her home was five hundred years ago, and millions of light years distant.

Rael sat next to her and awkwardly put his hand on her arm. Black and blue. “Tell me?” he asked. “Tell me about the happy times?”

Her hands moved again, placing paper in patterns he couldn’t fathom, let alone help with. Sometimes winding, sometimes patting, sometimes pressing… and she spoke, conjuring a peripatetic childhood, roaming between countries and continents, picking up languages like any other tourist would pick up tchotchkes. Picking up culture and learning, and never staying in one place.

Home, for her, was her family. Her mother, father and brother. And the little elves that her mother carefully packed for each move, and unpacked again when they settled once more.

She could not reach her family. Did not want to confirm that their lives had long since ended. So she was reaching for the next best thing.

An echo of home.

“May I help?” he asked. It wasn’t much comfort, but he was good at making new places to belong. Maybe he could teach her.

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Challenge #00240: Posting Bills on Jellynet

Subconsciously transmitted soul level personal ads transmitted via peer to peer, human to human internet powered by implants in the brain stem and the strange pairings that emerge from their usage. Base the story in the city you know most intimately.

It was cheap. It had no carrier feeds. It drastically reduced the volume of people who had no way to understand what life was like for other people.

People on Jellynet were almost 100% more likely to be civil, understanding, generous,

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Didn't We Already Fix That?!

A recurrence.

(#00240)

“Hey, check this out,” the fellow queuer passed over a pamphlet.

It was the immunoflu update, naming the diseases that the adjusted virus would protect the infected from.

A pointing finger indicated the anomaly. “What the heck is measles?”

“I know, right? That’s like… some weird human name or something.”

“Yes, but viruses have taxonomic names,” she argued. “For something to have a common name, it has

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Challenge #00239: Elemental, my dear...

Following someone around wearing a deerstalker and peering through a magnifying glass, whilst deducing things. With someone named Sherlock around, it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Bonus points for an exasperated Watson getting dragged along.

Eridite Watson passed from transitory population zones to residential in a cloud of chemicals. She dutifully breathed in the immunoflu, after breathing out her own local germs for Medical to catalogue as harmless. All before she put her clothes back on.

At least they

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Stop, in the name of cheesecake!

“Next time we’re both after the same thing…” she offered, “perhaps we can call a truce in the name of cheesecake.”

“Work out which is really the best? Sounds like a plan, then." 

Raven and Rahne meet again, not quite so "off duty” as before.  Jokingly, as part of the typical “witty banter” comicbook fights always have, one of them does call for the “cheesecake truce”, and to their surprise, the other remembers

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Challenge #00237: Pressed Seconds

Perpetual springtime.

Ellie had been hired to clean the garden. That alone made little sense to her, but this was Isinglass City, where the richest and the Eternals lived. Those who had the most time and the most money spent both in fascinating ways.

There was a definite border to Isinglass City. Nothing ugly was permitted to exist, there. Not even the average was permitted to exist. It was like a giant play-park with no rides.

And even inside Isinglass City, there

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Challenge #00236: Weighty Problems

Heavy the head which wears the crown. Heavier still the corset laced improperly.

Valeria had practiced for this. There had been fittings and rehearsals and an entire day getting used to the weight of the crown for this ceremony. She’d be knighting all day. And, for proper pomp and circumstance, all formalities had to be observed.

Including the ritual underwear.

Valeria, as royal crown of Eass, was not permitted to dress herself and, owing to the complexities of the full

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Challenge #00235: Dealing with fridge thieves

Coffee jello. Inspired because of this video.

Sara fumed. This was the fifth time someone had stolen her obsessively-labled lunch. It was almost enough to make her insectivorous again. And providing a lunchbox troll hadn’t discouraged the fiend, either.

The inconsiderate soul behind this was obviously trolling for some passive-aggressive antagonizing, but he (it was almost always a ‘he’) had yet to match wits with Sara.

She had Methods.

The “moldy” sandwich wrapper hadn’t

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Challenge #00234: Intricate details

The black fellow and Scott’s riveting discussion about felt.

“I knew you were lying about something,” the fellow in tweed grinned from ear to ear. “You said you only work in artificial plants and things that aren’t alive.”

“Yeah, I did. So?”

“That’s clearly moss on Echoes of Summertime.”

“No, that’s felt.”

“Seriously? Felt?

“Yeah. I wanted a moss look and

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Challenge #00233: Tenpool Lottery

Poverty matures, affluence retrogrades.

You had to be in it to win it. Ten were chosen, nine of whom walked away with a modest prize and entered again and again like everyone else living in poverty on Greater Deregulation.

Only one really won, becoming an Executive, a Celebrity and sometimes even a Pundit, all at the same time. Lives of the winners were followed almost as religiously as the poor bought tickets.

Fawn could only ever afford one a week. She kept

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Challenge #00232: A Lake Appeared in Winsome Valley

The forest is completely submerged. The tops of the tallest trees are easily 50 feet below the surface. Nobody knows how the trees are still alive, but they are, and sometimes, when the water is clear, you can see flickers of movement down below the canopy…

[AN: Please keep in mind that I’ve only heard two episodes of WTNV]

There has been a lot of buzz about the lake that spontaneously appeared in Winsome Valley, just outside the outskirts

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Challenge #00231: We're Mostly Harmless, I Swear!

In case you missed it, this post happened: http://aaceofhearts.tumblr.com/post/57693374988/untitled-jazuthevulcanprincess-bogleech-its-funny

*falls to knees* I will worship you and give you my super secret world’s most awesome and diet-breaking brownie recipe if you will write anything at all inspired by this.

(I am totally serious about the brownie recipe, or any other cake recipe since I can’t deliver to your house. I do healthy food too sometimes) 

[AN: I’m saving the rest

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Aftereffects of Tequila

Kitty and Rogue have shared their first night partying and drinking… and now they also share the hangover and brain-fog that results.  But that’s not all, they discover they also now share something else - ornate tattoos of each others’ names on their butts, and no memory of getting them.

(#00230)

“…ow…”

“Quiet, I’m dying.”

“Oooh, my hair hurts. How can hair hurt?”

“I said, shuddup, I&

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Challenge #00229: The Morning Show with Patty

A cooking show gone horribly wrong

“And here’s our surprise chef for this morning, Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Good morning!”

“Good morning, Patty,” said the tall, handsome man in the fine suit.

“Now, I understand you’re a psychiatrist?”

“That’s correct,” said Hannibal. “However, I am a forensic psychiatrist. I delve into the mind of the serial criminal, and I often don’t get to meet them until

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