Challenge #00235: Dealing with fridge thieves

Coffee jello. Inspired because of this video.

Sara fumed. This was the fifth time someone had stolen her obsessively-labled lunch. It was almost enough to make her insectivorous again. And providing a lunchbox troll hadn’t discouraged the fiend, either.

The inconsiderate soul behind this was obviously trolling for some passive-aggressive antagonizing, but he (it was almost always a ‘he’) had yet to match wits with Sara.

She had Methods.

The “moldy” sandwich wrapper hadn’t stopped him. The food colouring in the bread hadn’t stopped him. The spring-loaded 'orrible 'airy spider hadn’t stopped him… for longer than forty-eight hours.

And shy of poisoning…

Hmmm. Sara could almost hear Todd murmuring, Sara, no-o-o-o-o… in the back of her head. All right. Maybe just severe gastric reflux.

So, after stopping by the sushi place down the road for a heinously expensive lunch, Sara went shopping.

The next day, her lunch consisted of “special” fried rice - with mealworms replacing the rice, beondogi replacing the peanuts, and crickets, amongst many other things - “special” coffee jello - made out of her heart-stopping wake-up juice - and a flask of gourmet apple juice - tainted with cascara.

She included the lunchbox troll for verisimilitude. And waited.

Sure enough, come lunchtime, her luncheon was gone. She calmly went and bought some replacement sushi and ate it at her desk while she composed an informative missive about what, exactly, was in her repast, this day.

It finished with, “And the apple juice, as you are no doubt discovering, was doped with cascara. I will be picking random items of my lunch to poison in future. Only I know where the poison is. And, thanks to a generous coating of genitan violet, I will also know who the thieves are.

"Don’t try to wash it off. You’ll only make it worse. Sara (The green one).”

Interestingly, four people at the office had to go and get their stomachs pumped. All four had purple hands. Internal Relations had a field day as a direct result.

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