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A 4675-post collection

Challenge #00732 - B001: The Better Part of Valour

Person #1: A ‘strategic withdrawal’ is running away. But with dignity.
Person #2: So lay in a course and let’s get the dignified hell out of here.

Human ships. A fleet’s worth. Just hanging around in space, as one of their own authors was wont to say, in precisely the way that bricks don’t.

The crew of the Expendable Question could instantly tell that these vessels had been made by humans. They showed a deathworlder’s evident disregard for basic safety.

“Sir?” said science officer K'cops. “Might I recommend a strategic withdrawal?”

Captain Mij was busy staring, transfixed, at the view screen. “Very carefully, if you please.” Her hands were shaking. “Passive scanners only, gas thrusters only. Do not do a single thing to earn their attention.”

“Aye, Sir,” said Ulus, at the helm. She even moved to manipulate her controls carefully.

It was as if the entire bridge crew were.

Lieutenant Aruhu, the only male on the bridge, focussed his attention on the ear-bud that was near-permanent equipment as a comms officer. “I’m monitoring their communications, Sir. There’s no signal whatsoever. No radiation… nothing.”

“Best to be safe and certain, Lieutenant,” said Captain Mij. “Let’s be sure we’re out of scanner range before we engage the big engines.”

“Aye, Sir.”

Probes, sent much later, would verify that this particular patch of space was a dumping ground for decommissioned terran space vessels.

Captain Mij refused to feel silly about it. Those were deathworlder ships. For all she knew, they were rigged to explode.

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Challenge #00731 - A366: That's Me All Over

“I thought we were going to knock it’s head off?” “We’re disassembling it into easily carried pieces”

“I really would advise against that,” said their victim. Currently a head on a shelf. But that was the problem when one was dealing with robots. They didn’t always die all at once.

“Stop talking, you’re supposed to be dead,” said McLargehuge. He was the smaller, smarter, and sneakier of the two thieves.

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Challenge #00730 - A365: Strange Nest-Fellows

Imagine a life-preserving pod being picked up by a human vessel. Imagine it contains a Numidid keet (and possibly a dead parent or message from them). Imagine that keet raised by humans with no contact or knowledge of the Numidid people besides the pod remains. Imagine that keet as a young adult meeting other Numidid for the first time with no idea of Numidid society.

[AN: I know this is hellishly late, but I was hoping our internets would have returned by

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Responses to "Fright of a Lifetime" (2-4)

Ideas that this mash-up sparked:

1. Krumm is out lurking and finds Abner’s trough. Meets Abner, and cue unlikely friendship.

2. The monster trio meets the Sewer King. ‘Nough said.

3. The Gromble watches the results of the Halloween ‘War of the Worlds’ debacle; is grudgingly impressed.

[AN: Once again, I have to remind my readers to PLEASE SUBMIT PROMPTS ONE AT A TIME. My own absent-mindedness and technological incompetence means that I have to do multiple stories at once. On

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Response to "The Fright of a Lifetime" (1)

Oblina tries her hand at scaring Helga, but studies her first. Recognizes her interaction with Arnold from her time in Dr. Buzzcut’s Human Suit. Take it from there!

(#00726 - A361)

The view from the gutter was not wide, but it was educational. Oblina had long since learned to recognise the human by her shoes.

She had somehow suspected that Dr Buzz Kutt’s theories had been in error, but there was living confirmation. She could see and hear Helga

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One person's trash...

Arizona pyrope garnets occur in a remote section of the Navajo Nation in Arizona. The gems have never been mined commercially because there aren’t enough of them.  The entire world supply of these gems depends on those living nearby who collect a few stones after the occasional rainstorm and trade them at local stores.

This gem is most commonly called “ant-hill garnet” because they are “mined” by ants. Ants find the garnets while digging their anthills, drag them out, and discard

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Challenge #00724 - A359: Technobabble

From a forum conversation on technobabble: “we’re running low on pixie dust and the containment breach can’t hold any more rabbits so the ship is going to explode from thermal expansion and kill us all”

Responded to with: “Pfft, everyone knows pixie dust is self-containing.”

They called it the Ark.

“So… you got all the StarMetal that was ever made, and turned it into… this?”

“There’s also magically re-enforced Dweomer Steel. It’

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Dragons need better PR agents.

“Hmrph… but that’s how it always is, isn’t it? Just because they have so many prolific bards and scholars in their employ, they think they get the rights to dictate how everyone else is seen by the future generations - they don’t even TRY to ask my opinion… I’ve got scales on my butt older than their eldest king, and they still think they know more about my kind than I do… Humans are utter idiots.”

Catlike,

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Challenge #00722 - A357: Food That Sings

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/104613467865/the-magical-crawdad-mmolio-funkocide

“asexual sirens getting real fuckin pissed about all these sailors interrupting choir rehearsal”

“sirens are already asexual they dont have sex with the men they kill them”

“well no wonder they kill them they keep interrupting choir rehearsal”

“Asexual mermaids being really pleased when an asexual sailor begins singing baritone counterpoint.”

They usually didn’t pay attention to the wooden things that floated on top of their

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"Did you hear the one about the two humans?"

What if the majority (or at least a statistically-notable percentage) of the Galactic Community had mating seasons, like most animals do, so that as a result, with humanity’s decidedly non-seasonal “anytime and anywhere” sexual biology, we’re the butt of a million planets’ cheezy and/or stereotype-based dirty jokes…

[AN: Trigger warning: rape mention]

(#00721 - A356)

Of course, humans supplied some of them. Nothing cycles around quicker than a recycled joke.

“How many humans does it take to screw

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Challenge #00720 - A355: The Abomination

“SPACE IT!” “BURN IT!” “We’ll compromise. LAUNCH IT INTO THE SUN!”

“What is it?” asked M'ri.

“I think it’s a human artefact,” Chobb turned the object over in her hands. It was roughly spherical, and featured false fur in lurid colours. There were comical parodies of eyes above a birdlike pointed beak. Yet it had mammalian ears and ducklike feet. “I think it might be a platypus

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Challenge #00719 - A354: Divinity Proclivity

I am not the god of reason and understanding, I am the GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING -Thor

The halo was a dead give-away, really. Something about a God in mortal form made a visible aura of light a definite thing.

May ran through ever possible conversation gambit in her head and finished up with, “So you’re a God, then.”

“Not a capital-G god,” said the divinity. “Not any more. Not enough followers, you see.

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Challenge #00718 - A353: One Afternoon in a High School Classroom

“The Mongols sent diplomatic caravans to establish an alliance with them, and they responded by massacring them. Twice. Subsequently the region’s population dropped by 90% or so for some reason.”

[AN: My internet is a sack of suck at the moment, so I’m doing the most recent prompt. My apologies to those who were waiting for their prompt to turn up. I will find a way to get to your prompt]

“Whoah, whoah, whoah…”

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Challenge #00717 - A352: Pre-Luddite

The first cyborg hate crime probably happened around the time the first peg leg was ripped off with malice aforethought.

“Ereb… ka… heb…” Lynn dutifully wrote down the hieroglyphs and checked the translations. Her quest for extra credit had her translating old manuscripts that had been collected from, apparently, the dawn of time.

This was an ancient form of writing, from the super-early period of Egyptian civilisation, so translation was especially tricky.

She stretched the kinks out

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Challenge #00716 - A351: As the Station Turns

Aliens of all kind discover Soap Operas, have fun with the adaptations and scripts and of course the fans. — knitnan

Serialised drama is nothing new. The fact that it invaded the known universe before the humans made themselves known is the only thing from stopping the accusing finger pointing at those dangerous primates. And there is a legend that some baffling ancient alien went around the universe and introduced infant species to the concept. But some people will say anything…

Even the

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