Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00714 - A349: One Thing in Common

Video Prompt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4dT8FJ2GE0

6 people singing an Icelandic hymn in a German train station with excellent acoustics.

If there was one phrase Rael learned to dread, it was any variation on, “Let me get my axe,” from Ambassador Shayde. On one hand, it meant something historical was going to happen. On the other hand, it meant that she would gather crowds.

And there was always at least one who thought he was part of the show.

But not this time.

It was one of the spontaneous instances of Human Music that he’d heard of, but never seen. Two fellow citizens waiting for the transit started harmonising. An old tune about plants, reminiscent of the season’s celebrations.

Although what parasitic weeds had to do with Terran Christmas, he could never figure.

Shayde provided the backup music and more harmonies. And three more completely random humans joined in. Rael recognised people from five disparate planets. Some of whom were busy bickering with each other via extended trade negotiations.

It was simultaneously profound and ridiculous, as so many human things often were.

They sung the song flawlessly, in old pre-shattering English. And finished to the applause and raining Minutes of the audience.

“What do we play next, then?” asked Shayde.

And then it turned out that none of them actually spoke pre-shattering English. At least, not the way Shayde did. Some barely spoke GalStand. And yet, all seven of them came to a consensus and communicated their desire.

“Falala!”

“Falala?”

“FALALA!”

Shayde just cackled and lead them in.

“DECK the halls with boughs of holly! Falala lala la la la la…”

Another old Terran song with mystifying traditions. And few of the singers understood the words.

Humans… they were so… weird.

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Well, fuck.

Bad personal news below the cut

My Dad had a heart attack. His last.

He’s been beating the medical odds all his life, and this stupid thing gets him just days before Christmas.

I’m all kinds of illogical at the moment. Very understandable. And the one thing that’s sticking with me at this time is the fact that I’d got him another one of those joke-a-day calendars for Christmas.

Da loved jokes. Especially puns.

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Sonic Rainbows

Neil Harbisson’s TED Talk “I Listen to Colors” (I recommend checking it out first) is what inspired this submission idea, as did the phenomenon of synaesthesia.  What if, somewhere in your Amalgam Universe, there was an alien race out there for whom normal perceptions of color and sound were not like humans, but color and sound were interrelated - fashion was chosen for how it sounded rather than how it looked, portraits were heard symphonies, and music and speeches could be

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Available for pre-order on Smashwords! T'reka sighed as she put her books in order and reluctantly disposed of her former, almost-done...

Available for pre-order on Smashwords!

T'reka sighed as she put her books in order and reluctantly disposed of her former, almost-done presentations.

There would be no room for half-finished and never-to-be-finished projects on her expedition. But it still felt like she was tearing her own gizzard out.

She’d worked hard on each and every one of them… and she would never be allowed to complete them. As far as the Flock was concerned, all her contributions amounted to replicated data

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NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER! “Ah,” he said. And, “Hm.” Shuffle shuffle shuffle. “Camouflaged base camp....

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER!

“Ah,” he said. And, “Hm.” Shuffle shuffle shuffle. “Camouflaged base camp. Camouflaged hide. Camouflaged clothing?”

“All the better to avoid any predators, should they be present,” she sang.

“Mrrmmph…” shuffle shuffle. “Hu'lu'a is sending most of this nonsense anyway. For science,” pronounced, something hated I must tolerate for the greater good. “We will deploy the basics and send clean food by drone. You will record

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Challenge #00712 - A347: Jinge Bells, Santa Smells

Santa’s elves go union!

“Two! Four! Six! Eight! Hear us, Kringle, we can wait!” The chant filtered through the stained glass windows of the Head Office.

Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus, aka The Jolly Elf of the North, was not that jolly. He was perspiring, despite the cold, and highly nervous. He cleared his throat seventeen times before he put his foot in his mouth with, “And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?”

The elves

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girl-bear: shakeitupbebe: citoyenrebelle: I didn't know her, therefore Wikipedia: Lucy (or Lucia) Eldine Gonzalez was born around...

girl-bear:

shakeitupbebe:

citoyenrebelle:

I didn’t know her, therefore Wikipedia:

Lucy (or Lucia) Eldine Gonzalez was born around 1853 in Texas, likely as a slave, to parents of Native American, Black American and Mexican ancestry.[1] In 1871 she married Albert Parsons, a former Confederate soldier. They were forced to flee from Texas north by intolerant reactions to their interracial marriage.

Described by the Chicago Police Department as “more dangerous than a thousand rioters” in the 1920s, Parsons and her husband had

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frantzfandom: look at this letter a police union head sent to a newspaper for running that cartoon all cops are bastards...and whiny...

frantzfandom:

look at this letter a police union head sent to a newspaper for running that cartoon

all cops are bastards…and whiny pissbabies apparently

Real talk: If I was anywhere near that newspaper, I would buy five copies a day just to spite those murderers.

In fact, you should. Just order five copies of this paper a day. And then write on every page “Stop murdering POC” and send each page, individually, to that particular lodge.

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Challenge #00711 - A346: Saved!

Serial killer (real Hannibal Lechter-type) turns himself in to the authorities a sobbing wreck after months of being hounded by a pair of REALLY persistent Jehova’s Witnesses.

Every serial killer makes one big mistake, and for Kevin Leerie, that mistake was answering the door one peaceful morning to the door-to-door evangelists.

“Have you heard the good word of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”

“Rack off,” said Kevin, and slammed the door.

He should have pretended he

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