InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12660 posts

Challenge #00797-B066: The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Really Bad Idea

“This year’s human sacrifice features something very special- actual humans!”

“What were they sacrificing before?” murmured Edilade “Soy humans?”

“Best not to ask,” whispered Janet. “You have any of those smoke bombs I told you to dispose of?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, gimme some of those smoke bombs you don’t have.” Janet had already escaped the natives’ shackles. They all had. Being a scavenger crew meant that they were all prepared for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. “Five each should do it.”

Edilade grinned. “Are we gonna pull the Boom Shakalaka?”

Janet considered this, “Eeeeehhh… maybe a hybrid of Boom and Maresidoats. We don’t want them worshiping us by accident.”

“So… running under a hail of spears, then.”

“Be grateful they haven’t invented archery. Or long-range accuracy.”

The captain burned fuel a little faster, getting away from that planet. Unfortunately, they had had to leave some of their tech behind. At least it was gene-locked and the natives couldn’t use it for anything more than talismans or, if mood suited them, bludgeons.

The bad news that came with that was that their tech was gene-locked and the Society for the Protection of Societies was going to be on their collective asses if they ever found out.

The big question, however was, “How the heck did they become a cargo cult if we’re the first humans to go there?” which Tamika helpfully asked.

“That,” said Captain Shanice, “is a question we can log in our defence.”

In a hidden temple, far underneath where the natives had built their ‘space lasso’, was the most sacred of their sacred objects. A holy ancestor had tried to catch a star, so the story went, and seized this.

Most of it was sort of octagonal, but the important part was a carefully-polished plaque. Maintained and worshiped as a holy message.

On it was a picture of the device, and two nude humans, and a stylised star, or what could have been a star, if one didn’t notice the binary notation of the rays

And a small depiction of a solar system.

One of Humanity’s messages to the cosmos.

It was a pity that the natives read it as a menu order from the Gods.

[Muse food remaining: 14. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

citrusblonde:Lickystickypickyshe :If the organizers of Women on $20s have their way, you won't be seeing Andrew Jackson's face on the $20...

citrusblonde:

Lickystickypickyshe :

If the organizers of Women on $20s have their way, you won’t be seeing Andrew Jackson’s face on the $20 bill much longer.

Instead of the seventh president of the United States, this new group would like to see Eleanor Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, or Susan B. Anthony staring back on the $20. They’re targeting this particular bill because 2020 will mark the centennial of the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote, and

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Challenge #00796-B065: These Humans Are Crazy

An aliens reaction to the punch buggy game

“Punch buggy white!”

“Hey! One, that is clearly blue, and two - we’re in a freaking car museum. Knock it off.”

“Where’s your sense of humour?”

Janice gritted her teeth. “We’re in front of ambassadors,” she grated. “You’re embarrassing your entire species.”

Meanwhile, Ambassador Vrex was taking notes. Humans are instinctually violent. Even their games and

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So the only all-bird rehab center in North Texas is about to shut down

oxytocinwanted:

image

I can’t even put into words how upset I am about this. Rogers Wildlife Rehabilitation has been open for almost twenty years, and is the only place in North Texas that takes in literally any type of bird if it’s been injured, orphaned, or otherwise incapacitated. They’re finally out of funds, and if they can’t come up with anything by April 2nd, they’re going to be forced to close their doors.

image

They’ve never turned away

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Why I need feminism

zigraves:

lilliphus:

lianaslane:

driving home

Me: Let’s see what’s on the radio.

DJ: “It’s a tragic day for all men today—Leonard Nimoy died. Most boys had a Star Trek phase growing up. You girls probably have trouble telling the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, but trust me, it’s a big deal that he’s gone.”

Me: …

Me: Seriously? What year is this?

Leonard Nimoy is rolling in his fucking grave

Fake geek boys don’t

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titotito:provocatoria:So what kind of women are the Salvation Army really concerned about? Definitely not all of them. Yup definitely...

titotito:

provocatoria:

So what kind of women are the Salvation Army really concerned about? Definitely not all of them. 

Yup definitely learned more about this while interning at a LGBTQ anti-violence program’s crisis hotline

Aaaaannnnnd then they went back to being the same regular old shitheels.

…so much for hope…

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Challenge #00795-B064: Come to Scenic Gravity Falls

 Mabel Pines and Francouer.
(if you don’t watch Gravity Falls a. Do it and b. this is now a free prompt day)

[AN: I do watch, I’m just not into the decoding stuff because I’m daft. I let everyone else do that.]

“I’ll show you all! I’ll summon a monster from ages past to destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all!”

“Uh…” said Dipper. “Was it necessary

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becauselogicwarframe: meficrow: >random guy in shit tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city >don't...

becauselogicwarframe:

meficrow:

>random guy in shit tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city
>don’t know why the guards let him in
>figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over
>Comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing
>Hear reports someone killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit

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