Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #00592 - A227: Bad Advice

When an evil god laughs. run.

When a good god laughs run quickly.

Once again, Shayde had stopped at a registered Graffito Intersection to read the collected wit and wisdom from the kinds of people who wrote on walls.

“Na that’s just bad advice.”

Rael sighed and played straight man. “What would that be?”

“When an evil god laughs, run. When a good god laughs, run quickly.”

“Oh… kay…?”

“Aye, it doesnae do any good. Running from an evil god just pisses ‘em off. Runnin’ from a good god’s even worse.”

Rael didn’t know which bothered him more. The fact that she had personal experience or that she was divulging this information to a sworn atheist. “How in the name of the Powers could a good god be worse?”

“They condescend at ye… Like, 'aw that’s cute of ya’ or 'puir wee thing’ an’ the worst of the worst is 'be not afraid’. As if ye didnae just have a good reason. Na. Best thing tae do against gods is nod, smile, and bugger off as quick as ye can get awa’ wi’ it later.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he allowed. “In the meantime, you have to keep a schedule.”

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Challenge #00591 - A226: Unreliable Witness

“The reactor explodes from something the monkey does.”

Lyr surveyed the damage. “Sir, this is not the fall-out from a reactor.” Indeed, if a reactor had gone off, they would be mopping up the damage and the dead in hazmat suits. But there were no dead. And minimal damage.

The smaller saurian nodded as if in understanding and repeated hir statement. “The reactor explodes from something the monkey does.”

“Fer the fifth time, I only flipped the fookain switch,

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Challenge #00590 - A225: It's ALIVE! ...and Needs Counselling...

“What’s that? You say my creation is currently nigh unstopable and wants me dead? SUCCESS! It can move, self determine goals and figure out how to accomplish them! Now all I need is to figure out this sanity thing.”

“Master,” slurred Igor. “I don’t think you understand the severity of the problem…”

“Well, yes, there are a few little problems to iron out, but nothing a little careful negotiation can’

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Beware the Creatures of the Night...they have Lawyers!

Lawsuits filed by supernatural beings. Bonus points for mentioning Wolff and Byrd!

(#00589 - A224)

“All rise.”

Lou Pine looked meek and mild at the defendant’s bench. Bracketed on one side by a tall woman with distinctive white hair, and on the other by a small man of seemingly permanent nonchalance. Noth lawyers seemed very happy to be defending miss Pine.

“Your honour, this is a blatant case of harassment,” began Ms Wolff. “The local

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Challenge #00588 - A223: You Can't Make Me!

“You’ve lost the right to see me cry.”

“What?” said the cogniscent on his personal comms, sitting opposite Rael. “What does that even mean, Barbera?”

“It means you’ve hurt me for the last time,” said a higher-pitched voice. Either the cogniscent in question had her on speaker, or his volume was irresponsibly loud. Either way, the entire carriage of the Tram could hear them both. “I’m leaving, and

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Challenge #00586 - A221: One Damp Afternoon on Tour

“Shock and awe can be dangerous and deadly, therefore the management has overturned your booking of the concert hall for a- what was it again?”

“A magic show.”

“Look,” sighed The Great Amaze-o. “We’re a comedy act. We show how everything is done and half the time we pretend to flakk it up. It’s funny.”

The Nephroton on the other side of the counter glared at them with her segmented

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Challenge #00585 - A220: One Life in Song

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Doe, a deer, a female deer…

Doe crept between the parked storage containers, heart pounding. She could still see the peak of the ship. She was headed the right way. 

Ray, a drop of golden sun…

Shadows made her jump for all of five seconds before she realised it was her own shadow. A skinny stick of a thing. Undersized, underfed, under-represented and, so far, under notice.

She

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Challenge #00584 - A219: Rocky Start

Human: *sneezes*

Other cogniscient: What the hell was that?!

Ax'and'l had been dubious from the get-go about joining forces with a human… but he’d run the numbers and this venture was profitable in the extreme.

Insanely profitable.

Now it was just looking insane.

They were standing in an abandoned hulk of a spaceship, looting it for anything they could get out of it. Both had their survival suits on. Ideally, they were protected from everything the ship could throw

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Challenge #00583 - A218: Draco Nobilis

“Which is better,” asked the ancient dragon, scales dull, horns broken, but eyes bright as he regarded the one sent to slay him, “to be born good, or to overcome an evil nature through great effort?” – Josh

[AN: JOSH! You live! You’re one of my fave anons :D I was getting a little worried that you’d fallen down a hole or something]

The Knight Gainsborough lowered their lance and became lost in thought.

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The most feared dance in the universe

(character) crept through the undergrowth, barely daring to breathe, as they followed the pulsing rhythm. Parting the bushes slightly, they sucked in a horrified gasp, seeing the flickering firelight and the Humans dancing around it.

There, in the light of the burning branches, were people skipping and hopping, drinking out of cups from large nuts and doubtlessly containing fermented grain juice. That, they could handle. But the dance, that caused all non-Humans to shake in fear … .

The dreaded funky chicken!

(there have

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Douglas Adams

Aliens discover The Hitchhiker’s Guide.

(#00581 - A216)

Space, the text said, is big. Really big. If you think it’s a long way down the road to the shops, that’s peanuts compared to space.

“People paid money for this?”

“I think it’s some of their Terran humour…”

“I don’t see any references to trousers falling down in this narrative.”

Bloz glared at Kenka. “You and

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Deathworlders

Humans meet a species from a different deathworld.

(#00580 - A215)

Things around the negotiation table were tense. It wasn’t often that the humans met another cogniscent race that could kill them with ease. The fact that both sides were willing to keep their hostile actions in check was a telling victory for the mamalian side of the negotiations.

For a long time, Trodonti and Human stared at each other.

“We have studied your home planet,” said K'ress.

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Challenge #00589 - A214: Like a House on Fire

Shayde and Ambassador O’Ranges

or

Julie, Nanny and Ambassador O’Ranges

[AN: You didn’t say ‘xor’ :D ]

Julie was still moaning. A constant monotone that, Shayde could tell, was starting to get on everyone’s pec’s. She was huddled in Nanny’s lap. Nanny couldn’t do much for her but be a living teddy-bear and mutter “Good girl, good girl,” at random intervals.

“Puir babby…” Shayde

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Challenge #00588 - A213: Explaining a Lot

Was trying to figure a way to rephrase this, but I reckon it’s probably best to send it to you in its original form: “(s)he/ze had a troubled childhood” == “They had a troubled evolution…” (a lot of the questions were me) – recklessprudence

“…and this is Ambassador Shayde. Her species had a difficult evolution.”

The assembled welcome committee aahed and nodded.

“Must ye do tha’ every time we go somewhere?” Shayde murmured.

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Challenge #00587 - A212: Confusing Hilarity

Someone being chased by a goose while others laugh too hard to help.

The humans saw her coming in to the launch pole.

“Up! Up! Up!” They called, using their fleshy hands to gesture the same thought. “Danger! Up!”

She scrambled for the little platform before she dared look down. There, in one of the grazing paddocks, one of the humans’ domesticated avians was chasing a young human keet. Kid.

It was a large bird. Semi-aquatic, judging

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