An elderly woman, a witch, was quietly hobbling along the path back to her village with more healing herbs. She was well respected among the village, save for a few newcomers who were learning quickly the village protected their healer, and her apprentices, rather fiercely. When Wraithvine came to the village with hir friends, she offered to teach hir how to make a very special potion. Everhealing Elixir. It could heal any illness, any injury, and, in its concentrated form, even reverse old age. How was it made? Phoenix tears gathered as the bird wept with joy, unicorn blood willingly donated - not taken by force, tears of a human shed in honest laughter, seeds from a rose steeped in pure light, and while being mixed, the thoughts of the mixer must be purely focused on healing others. Otherwise it would curdle and spoil.
Sorry, forgot to add, when it was first mixed and made, it is in its most concentrated form. But those few who got a vial of it, she mixed it with water to dilute it so it would not be too strong. One vial that held half a pint, was enough, mixed with water, to make almost a half a gallon of Everhealing elixir. Too strong, in the healthy, did no harm, but it was just a waste of elixir that took so long to make, with ingredients that were so very hard to get. -- Teacher
A Wizard, an Orc, and a Bugbear walk into an inn. The bartender looked up at the trio and immediately demanded, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
The Elven Wizard had apparently been through something similar far too many times. "We all come come in peace, they're not hostile, they're my companions and I can vouch for their ability to behave themselves far better than anyone you know."
The Orc, dressed in the latest and gaudiest of fashions, swept off their feathered hat and traced elaborate arcs with it in the air. "Skyn Striker at your service, m'lord bartender. As the name suggests," they put their full flirt on, "I really know how to bang."