Amalgam Universe

Bear in mind this is a language where the word for “mess about with a small object and see if it does something” also means “play the violin”

“We have three different kinds of ‘moose’ and two are spelled the same,” argued Vic.

“Things went to crap when we switched to the phonetic alphabet. The entire context-necessary spelling convention has lead to unnecessary over-explanation.”

“I don’t like all the pronouns,” grumbled Jake. He was one of the Good-old-boy types from one of the less toxic Greater Deregulations. “It’s confusing. How in heck are you supposed to refer to something when you can’t tell its type?”

“I'faith, gentle sir, we find adequate use of their description, should their name become'st unknown.”

“SPEAK ENGLISH, DANGIT!”

“He is speaking English,” argued Vic.

“The problem,” said Paula, “Is none of us can agree on what English is. It’s a language that’s been begging, borrowing, and outright stealing words since it was recorded. It’s been changing because of invasion, invading, or just finding some word handy. Meaning is plastic… malleable. It changes with time… I’m starting to think this society is a lost cause. We’re only useful on occasion when some new Earth colony pops up and one of us has half a chance of understanding the dialect.”

The temperature dropped. Vic glared pure venom at her. “You can always leave the society. Should you continue to hold these… outrageous views.”

Right. Yes. Paula shrank in her seat. “It’s just a thought…” she mumbled.

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The difference between a goose and a swan: A goose will chase at the drop of a hat and proceed to peck and bruise if it gets you. A swan will only attack if threatened, but can break bones.

“That’s ridiculous,” said a student in the middle of Allegedly Quiet Reading Time.

“Do you need assistance?” asked Mr Myss, Learning Advocate.

“This is an objectionable description of avians,” protested Yokk. “It assumes the

The most ridiculously evolved trait of a human: The itchiness of newly healed skin.

“This area is almost finished repairing. I now have the unbearable urge to claw at it.”

The human in the next bay was rubbing at her bandages. She was rubbing with her knuckles and grimacing.

“Most people use talon for scratch,” said Pu'rii, edging a little further away from the human. Well. As far as she could get on a not-so-spacious hospital bed.

“

Pre-Amity, a human and other cogniscient get stuck in some relatively small space together, say a room that both find out the hard way only opens from the outside. Rescue is on its way, but until then…

They tell some pretty wild tales in Scavenger Bars. This is just one of them…

Hor'tik had been stripping wire. It had been a long trip already and it was that or mass credit. If he stayed out any longer, he’d have

Breaking bones is a death sentence for other cogniscients, so how unlikely is it that anyone has encountered someone missing a digit or limb, unless they were born missing it?

Jokes using one’s prosthetics (probably more advanced in the group that lives long enough to need them) optional.

[AN: Some species are more fragile than others. Havenworlders are particularly delicate. And it’s notably the Birds for whom broken bones are fatal]

The cogniscent trapped with her in the stalled

The universal phenomenon of chasing the laser pointer dot.

“Stay there. When I say ‘run’ you leg it.”

Barstaw boggled at the human. Their colourful phrases had no discernible end… and yet they were instantly understandable. For all her deathworlder status, she was extremely helpful to have around for this escape.

She hunkered down, ready to run at the door that was currently being supervised by one very bored guard. Barstaw half expected the human to happen

 ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is so culturally engrained now that starting it is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…

Open Mic Night at the Tunnel Cafe…

It was where many a young performer honed their act before taking it further out into the open. People came here to steal other people’s jokes. People came here with dreams of stardom. And Shayde came here, apparently, to hold a guitar and tell jokes.

Having done some research