Amalgam Universe

A 2349-post collection

Challenge #00585 - A220: One Life in Song

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Doe, a deer, a female deer…

Doe crept between the parked storage containers, heart pounding. She could still see the peak of the ship. She was headed the right way. 

Ray, a drop of golden sun…

Shadows made her jump for all of five seconds before she realised it was her own shadow. A skinny stick of a thing. Undersized, underfed, under-represented and, so far, under notice.

She wished she believed in God so she could entreat the speechless fellow for help.

Me, a name I call myself…

She didn’t have her ID. It made it hard to be Doe because it called her Jonathan. She didn’t have anything. The less she had to tie her down to Greater Deregulation, the better.

Far, a long long way to run…

There was a mile between herself, her cover, and the gantry that lead to the habitation zones of the trade freighter currently parked like a fat toad on the spaceport tarmac. Any minute, now, there would be dogs. Any minute now, the sweeping spotlights would highlight her. Any minute now, a sniper would explode her head from a vast distance.

She’d never run so far, so fast, or in such a straight line.

There was no street debris to dodge. No alleys she had to duck down. No crowds of potential enemies who could move to stop her flight and therefore endanger her life.

She didn’t feel her injuries as she tripped up the stairs. Just scrambled for her life up the gantry and inside the darkened vessel. Into a small enough storage space seemingly designed to hide a small human safely inside. There was an emergency medkit and attachments to the air system. There was even inertia padding.

Sew, a needle pulling thread…

There was a huge gash in her leg. And a pre-threaded needle in the kit. Doe gritted her teeth and sewed the wound shut as best as she could. She was good at not letting the universe know when she was in pain.

Years of practice.

La, a word to follow So…

She flinched as the door opened.

Instead of a descending fist or a shout of outrage, there was a quiet, “Hello… That’s my hiding spot, kiddo…”

“…pleasedon'thurtme?” Doe begged. Possibly on automatic.

Tea, a drink with jam and bread…

The man and his lizard - or was it the lizard and his man? They gently coaxed her out of her hiding spot. Patched up her injuries and fed her.

Not the rationed fare she expected, but fully-flavoured printed meals. And hot drinks. Sweet treats.

She couldn’t understand why Hwell apologised for the lack of ladies’ clothes “suitable for such a young darlin’ as yourself.”

Doe was grateful for anything that she could get. That they had such ready abundance for her was stunning. Dizzying.

Exhilarating.

Which will bring us back to Doe…

Two Standard months had made an immense change. Not the least of which were vitally satisfying adjustments to her anatomy. A Galactic education revealed worlds of difference between the greater Galactic Community and the heavy misogyny of Greater Deregulation.

It was like wearing weights her whole life, and discovering how far and fast she could run when they were removed.

But the best thing of all was seeing her ‘Uncle’ Hwell waiting with flowers outside her physical counsellor.

“You’re glowin’, darling,” he chirped, presenting the flowers with a cartoon of a bow. And much foppery with an invisible hat. “Good news?”

She grinned. The flowers were lovely. Doe tried not to cling to them possessively. “The best. I’m going to start my menses soon.”

“I could try to schedule a party if ye like,” he breezed. “Got all you need? Any unwanted company you’d like me to see off?”

“Thanks for defending my honour, Uncle… but I’m fine. All the company I have, I want to keep. There is one thing I’d like?”

“Name it, then.”

“I’d… like to adopt the family name of Barrow, please,”

“Aaaaawww… Welcome to the fold, daughter-of-me-heart. That comes with free hugs 'till ye stifle you know.”

His arms always made her feel safe. She rushed into them because she knew he would never hurt her. He always asked first.

“Thanks, Uncle. Thanks for everything.”

“Best. Stowaway. Ever.”

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Challenge #00584 - A219: Rocky Start

Human: *sneezes*

Other cogniscient: What the hell was that?!

Ax'and'l had been dubious from the get-go about joining forces with a human… but he’d run the numbers and this venture was profitable in the extreme.

Insanely profitable.

Now it was just looking insane.

They were standing in an abandoned hulk of a spaceship, looting it for anything they could get out of it. Both had their survival suits on. Ideally, they were protected from everything the ship could throw

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The most feared dance in the universe

(character) crept through the undergrowth, barely daring to breathe, as they followed the pulsing rhythm. Parting the bushes slightly, they sucked in a horrified gasp, seeing the flickering firelight and the Humans dancing around it.

There, in the light of the burning branches, were people skipping and hopping, drinking out of cups from large nuts and doubtlessly containing fermented grain juice. That, they could handle. But the dance, that caused all non-Humans to shake in fear … .

The dreaded funky chicken!

(there have

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Douglas Adams

Aliens discover The Hitchhiker’s Guide.

(#00581 - A216)

Space, the text said, is big. Really big. If you think it’s a long way down the road to the shops, that’s peanuts compared to space.

“People paid money for this?”

“I think it’s some of their Terran humour…”

“I don’t see any references to trousers falling down in this narrative.”

Bloz glared at Kenka. “You and

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Deathworlders

Humans meet a species from a different deathworld.

(#00580 - A215)

Things around the negotiation table were tense. It wasn’t often that the humans met another cogniscent race that could kill them with ease. The fact that both sides were willing to keep their hostile actions in check was a telling victory for the mamalian side of the negotiations.

For a long time, Trodonti and Human stared at each other.

“We have studied your home planet,” said K'ress.

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Challenge #00589 - A214: Like a House on Fire

Shayde and Ambassador O’Ranges

or

Julie, Nanny and Ambassador O’Ranges

[AN: You didn’t say ‘xor’ :D ]

Julie was still moaning. A constant monotone that, Shayde could tell, was starting to get on everyone’s pec’s. She was huddled in Nanny’s lap. Nanny couldn’t do much for her but be a living teddy-bear and mutter “Good girl, good girl,” at random intervals.

“Puir babby…” Shayde

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The cover… evolves I’m going to have a hard time NOT using bleeding font for the title because it all looks SO...

The cover… evolves

I’m going to have a hard time NOT using bleeding font for the title because it all looks SO cheesy-horror-flick… which is exactly what I’m aiming for :D

I was having a really bad day until this turned up in my in-box. Now I’m stoked :)

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Challenge #00578 - A203: You Swallowed What?

As one of the tech review magazines said a few years ago when the first 32 GB micro SD cards came out, “At last it is possible for a single human being to accidentally swallow all of the data collected by the Apollo Program.”

“This is it?” Shayde held aloft a crystal with a metal disk on one end. “All'o the survivin’ media from the twentieth century?”

“And some derivative works, yes,” said Rael. “

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Amalgam Answers

So most of Earth is category 4, Australia is category 5, the UK must be something like category 2. There is literally nothing deadly here and the worst we have is stinging nettles and sometimes horseflies.

What would actually constitute a category 1 or less, or a non-deathworld? All I can think of would be an entire world of primary producers but there are established predators in Amalgamverse…

Deathworld categories are judged entirely on the surface inhabited by the dominant cogniscent life

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Challenge #00577 - A202: Mass Destruction

Code 19: There is a small child loose in the area.

“LOCKDOWN! LOCKDOWN!” Rodriguez checked all the small storage bays before she locked them. Kept her eyes and ears open for any trace.

No sticky residue. No smeared prints. No suspicious puddles of liquid. No sign that the progeny had been here. And that was the dangerous part.

“I thought human infants were helpless,” said Chor'i'za.

“Human infants, yes. But once they learn how to move, they

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Challenge #00576 - A201: The Delicate Process of Acquiring Snuggle-Buddies

The first time K’iiv did the Noise.

“I… have not acquired a snuggle-buddy.”

“Want one?”

K'iiv’s tail flared. “Are… you… volunteering?”

“Are you amenable?”

Now his tail war twitching in a manner dazzle and enrapture female members of his own species. What the human thought of it was beyond him. “Oh very. So much. Yes. I– I–” SKREE-AH!

“AAAAH!” Del ducked in

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Challenge #00575 - A200: Alas My Love...

An Ice Cream van on Amalgam station.

Someone, somewhere, was playing Greensleeves on a glockenspiel. Rael knew this because he was chasing Shayde, who was racing about, trying to find the source of the noise.

The only information she’d supplied had been “MISTAH WHIPPEH![1]” before she had taken off at -as she called it- warp nine.

One day, one day… in the far, far distant future, he would not need half an hour and a pocket

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Writing Prompt

The first encounter of T’reka and her people with Big Bird (or any of the Muppets, really, because why wouldn’t they still be around?)

(#00572 - A197)

Still relatively impaired by her injured leg, T'reka stared in amused confusion at the screen.

It was a program meant for juvenile entertainment and/or education (it was hard to tell, with humans. It may be both and something else), she could tell by the puppets. And it was a locally-produced show, because

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Challenge #00570 - A195: Casual Toxicity

“Absolutely not! There is no way in-”

*human calmly peels and eats a banana*

“Er, whatever you say, sir.”

The Membletak did not adapt well to their new, human captains. They did not adapt well to the insanity of their commanding officers.

And they did not adapt well to illogical commands.

But Captain Millbury was prepared.

“Sir. The odds against surviving such a manoeuvre intact are astronomical to begin with, you can’t possibly expect the

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