Amalgam Universe

A 2271-post collection

Challenge #00816-B085: Infectious Craze

The Birdy dance, aka the Chicken dance. Turn it loose somewhere, have fun.

Shayde was wearing the patched muumuu. Which meant that her ‘street’ act, today, was something she called Stump the Frump. Which was ironic, because he knew for a fact that she’d spent an entire hour making certain that she looked like she didn’t care.

The act was, people would bring her musical instruments and, if she couldn’t wrangle a tune out of it, the person or persons with the instrument won the pot.

So far, it was four enormous glass bowls filled to the brim with enough Minutes to pay for half a Month. And she was working on a fifth.

Nobody else had yet noticed that Shayde was paying for new bowls out of her own cash.

Nevertheless, competition was getting intense. And then someone handed her an accordion.

“Aw yer kiddin’ me… noooo… No’ that…”

Laughter.

“I can only play one tune on this. Yer goin’ tae regret it.”

The laughter stopped.

“Uh… do you play badly?” risked the accordion owner.

“Worse. I play infectiously.” And then she began. Two notes, at first. At increasing speed. The bystanders thought it was hilarious. And then they realized that it was just the preamble to the actual tune.

The rhythm was relentless. The tune simple and repetitive. The actions of the dance… very silly indeed. An increasing number of people moved their hands like beaks, then flapped their elbows like wings, then waggled their rumps like… Rael did not know what. The refrain graceful enough that random pairs attempted ballroom dancing in the halls.

It was the kind of tune that drilled a hole into the central nervous system and made a permanent home there. Even Rael found himself coming into sync with the ridiculous gyrations of the crowd. At least before he realized what he was doing and forced himself into rigid stillness with the help of a handy column.

She had the entire hallway doing it by the time she finished the number.

Shayde handed it back. “Lor’ forgive me, I bought back th’ Duck Dance. Yer goin’ tae be a year gettin’ it oot a’ the music halls. I’m sorry.”

“But it’s such a good song,” said the accordion-owner.

“Try tellin’ me that in three months, when yer proper sick of it.”

[Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00815-B084: Inappropriate Love Gifts

There were a line of little heads on the mat near the bed, just the heads. The damn cat had been at it again!

Sandra drew her toes up again and hid them under her comforter. It wasn’t a straight line. More of a curve. All those dead, bloodied little heads. Arranged in something of a semicircle in a kind of post-mortem worship of her bed.

And in came the cat. Black, sleek and proud. Smirking at his fine achievement. Tail

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Challenge #00812-B081: Varied Diet?

After the omlette incident, realising exactly how much human food, like cake or pies or snacks, involve eggs.

Day 3.

Hen eggs declared non-cogniscent food. Also declared sterile. Also declared offensive. Further adjudication necessary.

Day 5.

Adjudication finished. Human can consume extant eggs, but only in utter privacy and behind offensensitivity shielding. The human must not consume any more eggs or egg-based products while aboard Science Vessel Sigma-Four.

“WHAT?” Sta-see yawped. Humans could get loud. At least she had been trained to

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Challenge #00811-B080: Horror Cuisine

The unthinking introduction of an omlette to a birdlike alien species.

“What are orbs?” said the assigned Human Watcher. So far, it hadn’t been as dangerous or nasty as she’d been lead to believe. Ri’ki’ki was starting to believe that all the stories were just… stories.

“Eggs,” said the human. Her name was Sta-see. Or something close enough. She was organising her little kitchen according to her own rules.

“You having egg in stasis? They is never hatch.

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Challenge #00810-B079: T'yoree the Reckless

Prompt: A Lilo and Stitch-esque scene with numidid and surfing humans.

T’yoree was frequently trotted out as an example as to why scientists should not be allowed to breed. She had, even to the humans, the self-preservation instincts of a concussed whelk.

As a keet, she would ride the larger dogs and invented the concept of Frisbee Dodge-em.

Some said that the natural Deathworlder attitude towards risk had rubbed off on her.

And she was the first Numidid to surf. Of

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Challenge #00809-B078: Flight School

“We will begin this course with some examples of deconstructive lithobraking. This 30-minute holofilm is titled ‘When the Ground Isn’t Your Friend.’”

Wherever humans go, they bring alcohol. In actuality, you are better off if they bring it, because otherwise they brew it. And you do not want to know what goes into the process, because humans will drink the byproduct of anything they can get to ferment.

And sometimes they stick Things in it, after distilling, to “enhance the flavour”

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Challenge #00807-B076: To Ride the Dark

On the Dark Side of the Force:  you can’t let it guide you like you can the Light, you must not, in fact. Rather, you have to muzzle it - or perhaps ride it, is a better analogy. Use it’s power, but do not let it run away with you. Like with a particularly independent, stubborn, and genocide-happy horse.

“You have much anger in you. That is good. It is a feeling. Feeling is life.” The Master smiled at her

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Challenge #00806-B075: Permanent Hold

“Your custom is valuable to us. Please be patient and an operator will get back to you.” And you can have fun with this.

[AN: My dash looks like this right now. I’m sincerely hoping that this post is not similarly FUBAR’d. Appropriate prompt is hella appropriate]

The music stopped. She took a preparatory breath in. But there was no human on the other end of the line.

“Your call is important to us,” said the automated voice.

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Challenge #00805-B074: Further Proof Humans Are Insane

“You do That! for fun?”

“What the heck is that?”

Charlie peered past Kress’ shoulder. “Oh. That’s my wingsuit. I use it for base jumping.”

Kress screwed up her saurian features. “Base… Jumping.”

“Yeah,” Charlie grinned. She started to bounce in her enthusiasm. “It’s like skydiving, only instead of jumping out of a plane, you jump off of something really tall, build up speed with the suit, and then rip silk.” She hastily amended, “Uh. That means

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Challenge #00803-B072: How the Flakk do You Stop Human?

Human sweat is so acidic, it can corrode metals. By micrometers and over years, but still

Something there is, an ancient poet wrote, that does not like a wall. The poem was about the forces of entropy versus cogniscent-made structures, but Rael knew for a fact that that ‘something’ also pertained to humans.

They were practically a force of entropy on their own.

Case in point: Shayde.

Not only was she obviously isolated from current societal norms, but she had a large

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Challenge #00802-B071: Diggy Diggy Hole

“Didn’t anybody tell you that when you are in a hole of your own making, Don’t keep digging.”

Hwell called it a ‘fox hole’, but its dimensions were closer to that of an elephant. And it was now very deep, because the native pests had a long reach that went along with their fear of falling.

It was past dawn. They were gone, now.

“We’re in a hole,” said Hwell. “Um. Too wide to climb out. Loose soil,

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Amalgam Station Wiki

Amalgam Station Wiki

I've started editing this thing again. I've included definitions of Death Worlds, Haven Worlds, and a classification system for both. As well as huge spoilers for The Amity Incident.

Drop on by. I'm open to all suggestions.

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Challenge #00799-B068: What, When You Own The World?

The domino effect, as applied to takeovers, and what happens when the last one falls.

This was it. The pinnacle of success. Fortune Incorporated had made its last takeover. With this signing, with this handshake, with this cluster of flashes dazzling his eye… Fortune Inc owned every business in the world… and since he owned Fortune Inc, he owned the world.

For the entire press conference, the glamorous soiree, it was all he could do to maintain a restrained and

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Challenge #00798-B067: A Solid What?

That most interesting of currencies, The Favour.

“It is not worth my Time, patience and anguish to even go near that piece of retro insanity you call a personal vehicle.”

Shayde thought she was upping the ante when she said, “I’ll owe ye a solid…”

He glared at her. “A solid what?”

“A solid favour. It’s a thing. Like ye need me tae do som'att ye don’t want

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