Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00701 - A336: Ignorable Precautions

(no other great ape can swim, or is remotely happy about going in water [except two cases of domesticated apes in 2013, the only known examples] and most monkeys are downright afraid of water)

*splash*

‘What the - are they trying to drown themselves now?’

'They float. Of course they float.’

“Where are we?” Bessie looked around. It was an island, she could tell that much. There was a modest little house and a garden, and something of a beach.

“This definitely ain’t the Colorado River,” said Glen.

They’d stopped for a picnic, she could remember that. And maybe a little newlywed privacy in the woods.

The house looked like something off those horrible pulp magazines. All it needed was a girl with a torn dress and a fishbowl on her head, being menaced by something with tentacles, fur, or both.

There were no dresses. No clothes at all. Both she and her new husband were stark naked. Had they been naked, before? Bessie couldn’t remember. “Do you… remember anything after setting up the picnic?”

Glen looked… lost. And more than a little angry. “No. It’s all… gone… There’s something wrong with this beach…”

There was something wrong with everything, here. It was all too… organised. Bessie got up and washed the sand off in the lapping water, then crossed to the house. There were no doors. Just holes in the smooth and unnatural walls.

And inside… it was like a spread from Better Living. Stuff she and Glen could never afford. And the closets - also doorless - were filled with the most modern styles.

“Looks like we’re marooning in style, Mrs Hyde.”

“Indeed we are, Mr Hyde,” she giggled. It felt good to have clothes. Clothes that fit, right off the rack. She only wished there was a mirror in this place.

“Oh look. Swimming trunks.” He cycled back out of his tailcoats and starched shirt to put them on. He flexed for her. “I can scout around in the water.”

Bessie changed out of her Chanel gown and into a one-piece of her own. “Well you’re not doing it alone. I vowed to stay by your side and that’s what I intend to do.”

Glen offered his elbow. “Then shall we proceed to paddle, Mrs Hyde?”

“Don’t mind if I do, Mr Hyde.”

*

“What are they doing now?” asked Yxorb.

“Are they aware of their captivity?” enquired Viirk.

“Nonsense. This environment is carefully researched and based on their ideals of paradise.”

“I told you not to use our materials for the domicile…”

“They’re going underwater! They can’t breathe air!”

“Are they trying to drown themselves?”

“They float. Of course they float. All right. Activate the reserve barrier. Make sure they can’t reach us.”

“They already can’t see or hear us. Why would they want to leave their paradise?”

“Look! Look! Aquatic adaption,” Yxorb pointed out the screen where the humans were swimming. “I told you they might have had a period of amphibiousness.”

“Yes, very well done. Shall we get on with stopping them from escaping? Or preventing them from killing us all?”

Yxorb sighed as she flicked the switch. “You’re the one who wanted a breeding pair of deathworlders in her zoo…”

*

They were lucky they weren’t swimming very fast. Glen brought her up to the surface, treading water.

“Ow,” muttered Bessie.

“Are you all right?”

“It just stings, darling. I’ll be fine.” To prove it, Bessie began treading water, too, and knocked on the invisible wall. “Is this one of the new plastics?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen any.” Glen ran his hand over the surface. “It’s weird. I can feel something solid… but there’s no texture. It’s like… carved air…”

“Let’s get back to the island. I’m scared.”

“This whole place is wrong,” murmured Glen. “We’ll figure something out, love. You and me. We’re a team.”

Together, they made their way back to the unnatural island paradise. Their very own eden. They’d make it. One day at a time.

[AN: Glen and Bessie Hyde were real people who vanished during a rafting trip down the Green and Colorado Rivers. You can read about it here.]

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lopbunnyboy:


So I live in a household where I'm constantly being told I'm going to be kicked out if I don't follow "x“ rule.
Where I'm constantly being belittled and abused just for trying to remind my family of my gender, and how much I don't like being called "freak", "retarded", "bitch

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Challenge #00700 - A335: One Dead Hour at Unsuitable Food

[AN: Image shows a table of Uncommon But Useful Conversions. The list runs thus:

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 Bananosecond
Two monograms: 1 Diagram
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
1 kilogram of figs: 1 Fig Newton
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 Hoarsepower
1000 aches: 1 Kilohurtz
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mph: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking less-filling low-calorie beer: 1 Lite Year
1

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I looked up seasonings for mushrooms and this clusterfuck of -isms popped up in the adspace. It’s like privilege bingo. Racism,...

I looked up seasonings for mushrooms and this clusterfuck of -isms popped up in the adspace.

It’s like privilege bingo.

Racism, sexism, body shaming, rape culture, forced sexualisation of people incapable of consent… and an iPad ad.

I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

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Challenge #00699 - A334: Community Service

(Inspired by one of your older works)

A “What, Ho!” scene.

[AN: For those unfamiliar with the topic, check out my fanfic Misfits]

The cogniscent tree people of Kumonjagotabijokin had a very peculiar life cycle. For a start, they planted the fruit of the Elder Trees and raised the resulting sproutlings as their own.

And, unfortunately for Aerin, crash landings did not come with tourist pamphlets. The world was pre-industrial and definitely pre-spaceflight, so common etiquette decreed the entire world be left

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So here's the thing - this country's cultural pie gets bigger, not smaller, as more people are allowed to partake of it. When children and...

So here’s the thing – this country’s cultural pie gets bigger, not smaller, as more people are allowed to partake of it. When children and young adults see their lives and concerns reflected in the homegrown books they read, the films and television programmes they see, the computer games they play, they feel they and their lives are not invisible. Seeing yourself in the cultural world leads to a sense of better social inclusion and a feeling that you are part

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Challenge #00698 - A333: Rituals of Nerditry

A “Hu’s on first” routine

OR

A “The bowler’s Holding” moment

Two humans, both wearing suits, stood on the otherwise empty stage.

“Heeeeeey, Abbott,” said the smaller one.

“Yes, Costello?” said Abbott.

“I hear you made captain of the local neighbourhood baseball team.”

“That’s correct. I did. I’m rather proud.”

“I’d like to know the names of some of the guys on your team, so

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Challenge #00697 - A332: Extreme Cuisine

Rapid tissue cloning from donated cells + vat-grown flesh as food-products = “My God… I’m delicious!”

They’d called the restaurant Eat My Ass. And the staff handed out FAQ sheets as to why they did it.

Fast-tissue cloning worked best on the muscles of the gluteus maximus. Which, in the kitchen/laboratory, became the best well-marbled meat individually tailored for each customer.

They had a wide variety of dishes that, technically, were veganism in its purest form. No animal had to

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trexbait: quickweaves: krxs10: in case you missed it: a new video surfaced on the Internet this week showing SWAT team police officers...

trexbait:

quickweaves:

krxs10:

in case you missed it:
a new video surfaced on the Internet this week showing SWAT team police officers setting fire to a car and the building next to it right after the announcement that Darren Wilson would not be indicted.
The original video was deleted on YouTube but thankfully someone copied it and here it is

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=Djt7VJzCHourgwT-7IGgBA&url=https://www.youtube.com/

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cloakstone69: dublubby314: My mother says that fanfiction doesn't count as reading because "it isn't nearly as good as the stuff that's...

cloakstone69:

dublubby314:

My mother says that fanfiction doesn’t count as reading because “it isn’t nearly as good as the stuff that’s published. You’re not going to find something online that will win a Booker Prize.”
Please reblog if you count fan fiction as reading, or if the fanfiction you’ve read is equally as good as published novels. I want to see the figures.

*crushes mouse while hitting reblog button*

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Challenge #00696 - A331: Hence the Canary

Image prompt: FWOOM

[AN: Image shows a younger person lighting gas at ceiling level using a match on a stick while an older person watches]

Of all the weird scavengers Lynn the Hitcher ever met, Barstow had to take the cake. It wasn’t just that Barstow kept canaries in their own aviary on her patchwork ship. It was also that she had an entire hold dedicated to pressurised air.

“I’m claustrophobic,” Barstow confessed. “Lifesuits freak

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Click here to support Isabella's TG Medical Expenses by Isabella Bunny Bennett

Click here to support Isabella's TG Medical Expenses by Isabella Bunny Bennett

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