Challenge #03841-J189: A Lesson in Better Behaviour

One slip of the wrong kind of drink, and those pirates will be on the toilet for hours. While they do that, let's tow this disabled boat to the authorities! -- Anon Guest

"Did you like my alcohol?" said Trader Shan, twiddling with his own fingers. "You got everything from the crate marked Special Reserve, VIP's Only right?"

"First thing," said the guard. "We had a good old booze-up on your elite overlords' expense."

"Such a pity. Nice knowing you all," said Shan. "Reckon you've got like a couple of hours before the symptoms kick in."

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