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Space Pirates

A 6-post collection

Challenge #04448-L064: Completely Unsupervised Chaos

You can't control chaos, don't even try. So what makes you think you can control the humans? -- Anon Guest

The Humans, as always, have a song that fits... even if it only fits slightly. There's a hold-up in the Bronx/ Brooklyn's broken out in fights/ There's a traffic jam in Harlem that's backed up to Jackson Heights/ There's a scout troop short a child/ Khrushchev's due in Idlewild... The meaning's been lost to the centuries, but it does contain the moral - if anything can go wrong, it will do so in abundance.

The historical Human education method of one adult teaching twenty to thirty neophytes seems like more Human madness in retrospect.

These particular space pirates had discovered the downside of taking the adults hostage and threatening the children. Well. Several downsides, to be accurate. First among many being that children without adult supervision transform into little savages. Each trying to see what 'naughty things' they can get away with. Some escalate faster than others.

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Challenge #04386-L002: Read the Signs

Don't go after a ship filled with neophytes. Their adult counterparts will only kill you. Human larvae will do far worse. -- Anon Guest

The ship was painted bright yellow, throwing the bold, black lettering on its hull into sharp contrast. Slow moving, loaded with life forms and cargo, it looked like the perfect target.

Appearances can be deceptive.

The space pirates found this out eventually. They were congratulating themselves on what looked like a sweet haul as they latched onto, then

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Challenge #03974-J322: Proof Against Humans

The ship with some ship humans encounter a very frightening problem as the pirate ship comes barrelling toward them. The pirates are humans, too. -- Anon Guest

Edges are dangerous. People or things either get cut by them or fall off them. They have ways of causing harm. The same remains with the Edge Territories. Here there be hives of scum and villainy. Here there be pirates.

Here, also, there be Humans.

Everyone venturing into the Edge knows that it's best to

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Challenge #03841-J189: A Lesson in Better Behaviour

One slip of the wrong kind of drink, and those pirates will be on the toilet for hours. While they do that, let's tow this disabled boat to the authorities! -- Anon Guest

"Did you like my alcohol?" said Trader Shan, twiddling with his own fingers. "You got everything from the crate marked Special Reserve, VIP's Only right?"

"First thing," said the guard. "We had a good old booze-up on your elite overlords' expense."

"Such a pity. Nice knowing you all," said

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Challenge #03783-J130: We Lucky Crew

I'm a Lucker. I had the fantastic idea of only hiring other Luckers to crew my ship, so we could hunt pirates and collect the bounties on them. We're all Luckers, bad news for Pirates. But man, this is getting boring! -- DaniAndShali

Testing your luck isn't fun when you know it's certain. It's even less fun when there's like fifty people exactly like you manning a ship.

It's just... too easy.

No challenge. We're the luckiest bunch of bounty hunters in

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Challenge #03474-I186: Deadly Mixology

Never underestimate a person who is cornered, has nothing left to lose, and has access to cleaning supplies. -- Anon Guest

They had done a lot of damage to the ship as it sailed between one place and the other. They had done a lot of damage to the passengers and crew.

They were, in fact, talking about blowing the vessel up once they were done stripping it of anything at all valuable.

The one fly in the ointment was a single

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