Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #02261-F071: They Love to Sing-a

"When an eel bites your thigh,

then you bleed out and die,

thats a Moray"

Humans will parody anything they like and especially catchy songs.

Even National Anthems. No matter the origin. -- Anon Guest

The local Humans were having an Untalent Show at the Choose Your Poison Drink[1], wherein all participants imbibed a lot of alcohol, got up onto the in-house stage, and demonstrated something they were horrible at. Either that, or it was Two Drink Minimum Karaoke Night. It was hard to tell.

Inside, Humans were rendering[2] assorted relentlessly popular tunes. A group of five were attempting to finish Yellow Submarine, except at various points, it became a purple washing machine, trying to score some exadrine, a fantabulous marine, or they were getting nice and clean. Someone else, possibly in an effort to drown out those five, was belting out My Balogna. Several people were failing at dancing.

A quorum of applause seemed to be enough to get those combattants to step down. A different group stood, wobbling slightly, on the stage, waiting for a percentage of the ruckus to die down. There were four of them. They might be about to commit Barbershop[3]. Lyr readied her comms and made sure her stunner was loose in its holster, just in case.

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Would'a Should'a Could'a

I could'a shown more sympathy for the families and survivors of the latest nastiness in New Zealand. I could'a written a thing about this mad state of affairs and done my take on it... but...

Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU) said it all so much better in a footnote:

Every society needs a cry like [”Remember Koom Valley“], but only in a very few do they come out with the complete, unvarnished version, which is ‘Remember-the-atrocity-committed-against-us-last-time-that-will-excuse-the-atrocity-that-we’re-about-to-commit-today! And so on! Hurrah!’ — Thief of

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Challenge #02260-F070: The Answer

42 is the answer to everything.

Aliens meet a fan of the series and are baffled, that 42 is the correct answer to every problem on their ship.

Coincidence or Joke ? -- Anon Guest

"Whoa. That's gotta be forty-two comets in a V-formation," stated Human Dug. Later assessment revealed that they were correct. There were exactly forty-two cometary masses grouped together and orbiting this particular sun.

This was a peculiarity of Human Dug. Forty-two was always the answer, and it always was

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Slow Progress

Things... are chugging along. I'm into the final stretch of B'Nar, I've reached the point in my TangleBag(tm) is almost taller than it's ball of origin, and people apparently really liked my last Wordpress Wednesday. Huzzah.

...now if only the nice folks in Hollywood would notice this shit.

I know. I know. I am but one voice in the wilderness, yaddah yaddah. I would like to think that someone, maybe even a capital letter Someone, is out there and taking a

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Challenge #02259-F069: Got an Axe to Grind

The most destructive and deadly weapon of all is not an antimatter bomb. That place goes to a Human with ductape, a Multitool, a Target and no reason to not do it.

Or to care for his safety. -- Anon Guest

Humans have a lot of sayings concerning revenge. This should be enough warning for most species, but there are always an unfortunate few who are slow learners. Suffice to say that if your commanding officer decides to blast an isolated Human

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I dun goofed

I successfully posted my Patreon, explaining the "Job's Done!" effect. I successfully did my Wordpress Wednesday about the Miraculous Minority and their seemingly obligatory position as Straight White Hero Support(tm). I successfully wrote my blog, my Instant, and five hundred words for my novel.

Yay.

I completely forgot about writing the flash fanfiction I should have done yesterday.

Can't win 'em all.

However, I do aspire to writing two for the price of one, this fair morrow. That should make up

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Challenge #02258-F068: MacGuyvering the Excrement...

A human uses a fire extinguisher, some glue, self-made rocket fuel, some ductape, bolts and other stuff to render an enemy vessel useless.

Be creative :-) -- Anon Guest

[AN: I always am, Nonny. You don't have to tell me]

"Okay," panted Human Ange. "Good news, bad news. Good news... we're alive so far. Yay." It was statements of alleged optimism like that that helped earn Humanity's reputation in the Alliance.

"Bad news," stated Gaurx, "We are sheltering in a supplies hold.

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Whoopsidoodle

I forgot the Patreon stuff, yesterday.

I'm due to make a Wordpress Wednesday, today. Based entirely on your lovely votes. Results as promised below:

(Shown here: Strawpoll results with "Tropes I Despise - The Miraculous Minority" as the clear winner with three votes. Other options: "Eugenics Gets Evolution Wrong," "Autism and Me (four parter)," "Gender Imbalance in the Romcom," and "Why Must They Go There?" having one vote each. The remaining three options got no votes)

So the seven of you who

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Challenge #02257-F067: Terrans of the Deep

Human talk about their oceans flora and fauna and deep water creatures.

Needless to say, it only adds more reasons, why Humans and their Deathworld should have been classified way higher. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to explore. To them, nothing is more alluring than the path not taken, the nook unchecked, or the depths undelved. There is no length a Human will not go to in order to see what's there just because they can. It should therefore surprise few that,

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Do the Re-organise Shuffle

Chaos starts swimming lessons, this week. I'm 1000% for. Anything that could plausibly save my little darlings' lives gets my vote. Since the lessons happen on Wednesday, that's moved up her tuck shop day to Tuesday.

That's happening this week.

The TangleBag(tm) now has starter walls. It's quicker to do the walls than it is to do the base because trebles are no longer involved. I've gone through three circuits since yesterday and it's starting to look like a wibbly wobbly

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Starting Over and Over

I had to unravel a lot of progress on my ameteur string bag. Starting with a simple fact - I got my treble stitch wrong.

You're supposed to make a stitch out of the loop of yarn you wind around the hook. I forgot that bit and just left a loose loop in there. No wonder the result was an unholy tangle.

It's kind of a tangle now, with the spare twine currently residing in a spare gift bag that was lying

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Challenge #02256-F066: First to Aid

A book written by an alien Medic over humans and their needs (physical/emotional/etc) medical "normal" procedures/operations for them, limits of humans (go wild and have fun with this one^^) and what to do with your human if sh*t hits the fan and emergency medical procedures (Bringing him back to life by smashing repeatedly his ribcage and forcing air in, stopping leaks, treating rocket fuel burn( how did he even get this?!?) , etc.)

Have fun and do your thing

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Your vote matters!

In things political, of course, but also for this nonsense. In this case, I want to know what you want to see out of me by this Wednesday.

Vote here and vote often. I'll be checking.

It's another unfuckening day, and I need money to bribe educate Mayhem into learning how to drive proper. Poor lad's got the quirbles again, so he's getting a minimum of one day off because quirbles.

Of course I'll be asking if he's been taking his meds.

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Challenge #02255-F065: We Welcome

The Hive of _________ could rule themself lucky. Enough food, no immediate threats and a happy broodmother.

All is well and quiet, until they need to integrate a human onboard one of their ships.

Even the drones are confused. They don't have a hive-system? They aren't born with their duties and jobs?

Just some casual integration on a Hiveship. What could go wrong? -- Anon Guest

Ysoptae Hive Identity Flitterfell was informed that they

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Fun was had (reprise)

Virtuality is fun. Even when you suck at twitch gaming and you die a lot. The equipment is heavy and my slender neck couldn't handle that. I had my hardy perennial trouble with headphones because my ears be too big, so I'm not blaming them for that.

Bring on over-ear, off-head headphones that don't crush the cartilage. I know they exist, but the price is beyond common acquisitions at the moment.

Grumble, grumble, mutter, mutter.

Ahem.

Today, I am going to weave

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