I got some ducks in a row and actually talked about sorting out things I've been in fear of fixing for some extended time. Yay.

Now I have to go through with it. Boo.

Today, teh PLN involves going back to the doctor and hashing out a mental health care plan. And I know the drill Talk About The Worst Of It. Loads of people whiffle their way out of getting help with the same rationalisations they use to pretend everything's fine:

  • Oh, it only happens once in a while
  • I'm not that bad
  • It's not that bad
  • I'm still in control

And the hardy perennial, "Other people have it much worse."

Thing is, when you're in a frog soup1 situation... you're not always aware. Things creep up on you and before you know it, you're screaming at your loved ones about whatever shit happened to be the metaphorical final straw.

As far as capacity for bad crap goes, my cistern takes a long time to overflow, and the contents have had plenty of time to go rotten.

It takes a very long time for everything to build up. And, most of the time, I can defuse the bad feelings before they spill over and I break. And for forty-four years, I guess I've been lucky.

Finding safer ways to vent have been phenomenally great for me. Finding safer ways may also be beneficial.

It's early days, yet. I've only just started on Seratonin, and I don't know how many of my symptoms are psychosomatic.

It takes two weeks to firkin work and I'm playing games with my head inside of two hours. It's such fun being me.

  1. Hideous urban myth has it that if you put a frog in cool or tepid water and gradually heat it over a long period of time, the frog will stay there until it cooks. Fortunately, this is not true, so you don't have a reason to try this at home.