Submission

A 900-post collection

A Mother's Curse, used elsewhere

Someday, [name], I hope you live to have a dozen subordinates just like you.

(#00595 - A230)

T'reka didn’t understand the curse. Not in her youth, when she’d innocently said, “Oh that would be delightful.” And not now, when she had achieved half a dozen subordinates, one of them human.

Her five Numidid scientists, including one student-underling - Tyrtyr, sought only to perform their tasks as carefully and precisely as possible. Even the human, Wila, endeavoured to keep up with the flock.

Human ingenuity and apparently recreational insanity had invented the Flight Suit. A set of artificial wings that allowed a human to glide once they had sufficient initial velocity. The model Wila wore included an additional set of detachable wings so that she could keep pace with her Numidid flock.

Wila, among the first humans to be born on this planet, didn’t know a life before alien contact. Ze spoke Ulu fluently and adapted the Numidid mannerisms to hir lanky, upright frame. Ze even figured out how to sit on Numidid perches where other humans knelt on the floor.

T'reka did her rounds. “Progress?” it was the only question she ever needed.

“I’ve found the gene-link,” sang Wila, indicating a dancing simulation on hir monitor. “These ribosomes can work in parallel and splice the genomes of Terran biota samples and Hu'lu'a biota samples. Theoretically, it may even be possible to gengineer a Numidid-Human hybrid.”

“Let’s not make any new species before we classify the ones we already have, all right?” suggested T'reka.

“Yeah, right. Hands already full,” Wila laughed and got on with hir work.

Tyrtyr, on the next desk, held up a presentation frame. “This is the third one,” she announced. “Seventeen subspecies of arboreal moth, labeled and arranged artistically as a gift to retired Mayor T'terik a’ Srii.”

“Your grand-uncle will love it,” T'reka examined the display appreciatively. “And they’re cross-coded with their archive reference. Well done.”

Tyrtyr almost glowed with pride.

Lilip had a supplicant’s posture and a presentation display… and an eager gleam in her eye. “I have finalised a plan to investigate the chasm at co-ordinates fifteen, seventy-one, gleep-thirty.” She set up the display and activated it, “With a team of volunteer humans and their s'pee-loonk-aing equipment, we should be able to fully investigate the caves, collect samples, and map the entirety of the cave system. Including the use of aerial and aquatic probes, of course.”

“I assume you have a team of humans already in mind.”

“Er. Well. They’re already going. May I escort them?”

“No flying blind.”

“Yes, Honoured-Teacher.”

T'reka still couldn’t understand the curse. Maybe it had something to do with her leadership style.

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Challenge #00594 - A229: Peggy deCulco

“The [name] family motto might as well be, Anything worth achieving is worth overachieving”.

She could see the immigration clerk’s eyes widen at the name on the galactic passport.

“You’re a deCulco?”

“I’ve spent my life being the black sheep of the family,” she smiled. “You can relax.”

Not that there was much trouble to be expected at a station called Podunk. She wanted to disappear. Become someone else. Be anything

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Challenge #00593 - A228: History Lesson

For decades Earth’s biosphere, at least insofar as supporting human civilisation, basically rested on everyone being very rational and _not_ pushing the shiny, candy-like button and firing _all the nukes_. How we got in that situation is textbook humanity, but being in that situation, pushing ourselves as far and as hard as we did, with all the diplomatic and military provocations - but _not_ managing to go that step too far? That’s not how humanity behaves… It was basically two

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Challenge #00592 - A227: Bad Advice

When an evil god laughs. run.

When a good god laughs run quickly.

Once again, Shayde had stopped at a registered Graffito Intersection to read the collected wit and wisdom from the kinds of people who wrote on walls.

“Na that’s just bad advice.”

Rael sighed and played straight man. “What would that be?”

“When an evil god laughs, run. When a good god laughs, run quickly.”

“Oh… kay…?”

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Challenge #00591 - A226: Unreliable Witness

“The reactor explodes from something the monkey does.”

Lyr surveyed the damage. “Sir, this is not the fall-out from a reactor.” Indeed, if a reactor had gone off, they would be mopping up the damage and the dead in hazmat suits. But there were no dead. And minimal damage.

The smaller saurian nodded as if in understanding and repeated hir statement. “The reactor explodes from something the monkey does.”

“Fer the fifth time, I only flipped the fookain switch,

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Challenge #00590 - A225: It's ALIVE! ...and Needs Counselling...

“What’s that? You say my creation is currently nigh unstopable and wants me dead? SUCCESS! It can move, self determine goals and figure out how to accomplish them! Now all I need is to figure out this sanity thing.”

“Master,” slurred Igor. “I don’t think you understand the severity of the problem…”

“Well, yes, there are a few little problems to iron out, but nothing a little careful negotiation can’

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Beware the Creatures of the Night...they have Lawyers!

Lawsuits filed by supernatural beings. Bonus points for mentioning Wolff and Byrd!

(#00589 - A224)

“All rise.”

Lou Pine looked meek and mild at the defendant’s bench. Bracketed on one side by a tall woman with distinctive white hair, and on the other by a small man of seemingly permanent nonchalance. Noth lawyers seemed very happy to be defending miss Pine.

“Your honour, this is a blatant case of harassment,” began Ms Wolff. “The local

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Challenge #00588 - A223: You Can't Make Me!

“You’ve lost the right to see me cry.”

“What?” said the cogniscent on his personal comms, sitting opposite Rael. “What does that even mean, Barbera?”

“It means you’ve hurt me for the last time,” said a higher-pitched voice. Either the cogniscent in question had her on speaker, or his volume was irresponsibly loud. Either way, the entire carriage of the Tram could hear them both. “I’m leaving, and

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Challenge #00586 - A221: One Damp Afternoon on Tour

“Shock and awe can be dangerous and deadly, therefore the management has overturned your booking of the concert hall for a- what was it again?”

“A magic show.”

“Look,” sighed The Great Amaze-o. “We’re a comedy act. We show how everything is done and half the time we pretend to flakk it up. It’s funny.”

The Nephroton on the other side of the counter glared at them with her segmented

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Challenge #00585 - A220: One Life in Song

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Doe, a deer, a female deer…

Doe crept between the parked storage containers, heart pounding. She could still see the peak of the ship. She was headed the right way. 

Ray, a drop of golden sun…

Shadows made her jump for all of five seconds before she realised it was her own shadow. A skinny stick of a thing. Undersized, underfed, under-represented and, so far, under notice.

She

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Challenge #00584 - A219: Rocky Start

Human: *sneezes*

Other cogniscient: What the hell was that?!

Ax'and'l had been dubious from the get-go about joining forces with a human… but he’d run the numbers and this venture was profitable in the extreme.

Insanely profitable.

Now it was just looking insane.

They were standing in an abandoned hulk of a spaceship, looting it for anything they could get out of it. Both had their survival suits on. Ideally, they were protected from everything the ship could throw

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Challenge #00583 - A218: Draco Nobilis

“Which is better,” asked the ancient dragon, scales dull, horns broken, but eyes bright as he regarded the one sent to slay him, “to be born good, or to overcome an evil nature through great effort?” – Josh

[AN: JOSH! You live! You’re one of my fave anons :D I was getting a little worried that you’d fallen down a hole or something]

The Knight Gainsborough lowered their lance and became lost in thought.

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The most feared dance in the universe

(character) crept through the undergrowth, barely daring to breathe, as they followed the pulsing rhythm. Parting the bushes slightly, they sucked in a horrified gasp, seeing the flickering firelight and the Humans dancing around it.

There, in the light of the burning branches, were people skipping and hopping, drinking out of cups from large nuts and doubtlessly containing fermented grain juice. That, they could handle. But the dance, that caused all non-Humans to shake in fear … .

The dreaded funky chicken!

(there have

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Douglas Adams

Aliens discover The Hitchhiker’s Guide.

(#00581 - A216)

Space, the text said, is big. Really big. If you think it’s a long way down the road to the shops, that’s peanuts compared to space.

“People paid money for this?”

“I think it’s some of their Terran humour…”

“I don’t see any references to trousers falling down in this narrative.”

Bloz glared at Kenka. “You and

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Deathworlders

Humans meet a species from a different deathworld.

(#00580 - A215)

Things around the negotiation table were tense. It wasn’t often that the humans met another cogniscent race that could kill them with ease. The fact that both sides were willing to keep their hostile actions in check was a telling victory for the mamalian side of the negotiations.

For a long time, Trodonti and Human stared at each other.

“We have studied your home planet,” said K'ress.

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