Instant Story

Also about domesticated animals.

Almost every domesticated species, whether predator or prey, has been a social animal, with an internal hierarchy. Humans domesticated them by inserting ourselves at the top of the various hierarchies, and doing so consistently for generations, until the species is considered domesticated.
This can lead to absurd scenarios such as a human chastising a predator-species that was behaving inappropriately, one that masses more than they do, with a jaw that could shatter their bones easily, can outrun them - or, indeed, run them down - with ease, and is stronger than they are, by wrestling them to the ground and making noises at them. Said predator-animal is closely related to pack-hunting apex predators that were some of early civilisation’s most feared foes.

And then the mad human lets the animal up, and rather than rip their throat out for their temerity, it behaves contritely, as if the human had any capability to enforce their wishes upon it. Not only that, but within minutes the human and the predator will be playing games together! Games in which the predator has to be so very careful not to injure the human, even games in which the human deliberately provokes the predator! [Ed: tug-of-war with the rope, etc. NOT abuse] – RecklessPrudence

“Yeah, she’s still a predator,” said the human scratching the tiger’s ear. “She’s known me since she was a baby. I’m family. She won’t eat family.”

As if to punctuate the point, the tiger wrapped her mouth around an arm and pretended to bite and maul. All the human did was boop its nose and the animal let go and started licking apologetically.

“It’s all about socialisation. Now tigers need a large enclosure and lots of their own space, but in ten generations? We’ll have a species of tiger who can be house pets.” The human resumed scratching the tiger. “It sounds ludicrous, but it’s almost guaranteed to save the species.”

And that was how the aliens learned that humans wanted every possible animal as pets. Some were easier than others, of course. But the rising suspicion was already growing.

Show a human something dangerous and deadly, and they will figure out a way to domesticate it and turn it to their own purposes.

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On “Humans are crazy” in general and pets in particular.

Humanity’s domesticated species are, for the most part, herbivores, right? So what possessed us to decide that the animals we let into our homes would largely be carnivores? Now, imagine a species where that is not true.

“AH! Look out! That predator is near your young!”

“Oh, that’s just Missy, she’s harmless.”

„,And then just when they’ve adjusted to that, they see why even

A guy who is nice, as opposed to a “nice guy” – RecklessPrudence

(#00507 - A132)

Sid’s first question, whenever he encountered someone who was having trouble was, “Would you like some help?”

It was a good question, simply because some people were only experiencing temporary difficulties and tended to get angry when other folks just barged in.

And there were other questions that came first. Like, “Is this guy bothering you?” whenever he saw a

Wow. This isn’t fractal denseness, it’s origami denseness. It’s like a beautiful work of art that you can unfold to make it seem even more dense. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: Prompt edited to be less offensive - I hope]

(#00506 - A131)

“Let me get this straight,” said Security Officer Trel. “Someone actually told you that they’d go out with you if you managed to clean… The Glunk.”

“Damn straight. Fine ass

You are not just wrong. You are wrong at every conceivable level of resolution. Zooming in on any part of your worldview finds beliefs exactly as wrong as your entire worldview. – RecklessPrudence

(#00505 - A130)

“So?” said the wilfully ignorant specimen from Greater Deregulation (Upper West). “That don’t mean we can’t have a good time. All you gotta do, honey, is shut up, put out, and pretend to enjoy it.”

Shayde turned a

‘Why? We’re the Good Guys, aren’t we?’
'Yes, but that rather hinges on doing certain things and not doing others, sir’, – RecklessPrudence

Tony made a face at JARVIS’ snide comment. “Urh. Fine. I get it. The heroic thing to do, yadda yadda yadda. Steve’s been a bad influence on you, admit it.”

“On the contrary. I rather think Steve has been a good influence. On the both of

“Wow, how’d you get it to work?”
“I ran a Physical Impulse Mechanical Stress Routine”
“Huh?”
“I kicked it.”
“Ahh.” – RecklessPrudence

“And you’re charging me three Minutes for kicking it?”

Atole the JOAT tidied imaginary dust off her JOAT coat. “Fees and charges, friend. Two Seconds for the kick, and two Minutes, fifty-eight for the knowledge of where to kick it.”

Telos grumbled, but

The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible economic decision that there’s no good reason to go into space—each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision. – RecklessPrudence

(#00502 - A127)

The Ch'debrithett did not know how lucky they were when the aliens came. They were a relatively quiet civilisation that worked to maintain a balance after years of nigh-catastrophic extinction-for-profit. Or, as it has become known in