Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Magnificently Horrible

(inspired by the recent development of nailpolish that helps detect date-rape drugs when a finger is dipped in the drink, though, understandably, you don’t need to use that for the writing-inspiration)

“Like a lot of things in this world, it is wonderful that this finally exists, but also terrible that it needs to exist.”

(#00650 - A285)

It looked like a simple brain mod. Just another circuit in a world full of integrated circuits designed to merge with the nerve cells of the brain and enhance its performance.

“This is a game? Augmented reality, right?”

“Not quite,” explained the inventor. “We market it as a game. But what it actually does is detect all the social minefields and help the user avoid them.”

“For example?”

“Did you ever get laid while you were drunk at a party?”

“Pft. Yeah. Sure. Good fun.”

“Were you sure that your partner wanted it?”

“Uuuuuhhhh…”

“That’s where this little beauty takes over. It does augment reality, but it gives you vital information. Like your prospective partner's actual age, blood alcohol content, and whether or not they’re actually interested in having sex with you. It takes all the guesswork out of hooking up.”

“So… if she’s drunk and underage, a little stop sign pops up.”

“Yup! And if you go ahead and do the do, your location and details are sent to the police so they can arrest you for statutory rape and her for underage drinking.”

“That’s grea– waitasecond. What?”

“It applies to all forms of rape, of course. It is a crime. And just like any other crime, it’s immediately reported to the authorities with video feed, location, and all that other information.”

Outrage. “Why would you do that?”

“It’s a crime. Stopping crime is a good thing. And the users can’t claim ignorance, because of all the little signs popping up in their field of view.”

“That’s horrible!”

“And necessary. People are ignoring plain biodata now. A system of checks, balances, and immediate punishment should prove very efficacious. Plus it clearly labels anyone who treats their desired gender like trash, so they can avoid the offender.”

A long, evaluating stare. “You’re actually proud of yourself for doing this, aren’t you?”

“Are you saying you’d get caught by this system?”

“…uuuuuuuuuuhhhh…”

[Muse food remaining: 42. Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Challenge #00649 - A284: Reality? Just a Suggestion

Sara and Pinkie Pie trade recipes

[Since you said Sara, I’m assuming you mean my favourite mutant OC and not her alternate ponysona, Star Wishes. If you meant the ponysona, then re-send the prompt with the right name]

“Wait, so you’re not one of those weird beings from the other side of the magic mirror?”

“No,” said the aqua-coloured human with the brown mane. “I came here through Kazooland. Steam Powered Giraffe showed

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Sacrifice...

“You dare say that to me?! That my choices, my actions caused all this? As if with you in my place, if you had to shoulder all my burdens and responsibilities for as long as I have, that you would do things differently? You deceive only yourself to claim you would ‘succeed’ where I had ‘failed’. Anyone would do the same as me in these circumstances. I’m just like you. Just like everyone else. Tell me with a straight face,

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Challenge #00647 - A282: Scary Handy

On an individual basis, moments when humans go from “big, scary, too strong and menacing” to “big, protective, safe and ok still a bit scary”

Just little things, like being able to catch a falling numidid, deflect a blow, walk or swim in currents that bowl over little guineafowl people, or bodily grab them out of the way of danger etc.

An adult Human was twice the size of a Numidid in relaxed posture. Four if the Numidid was in a defensive

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The Internet

T’reka (or some other inquisitive creature) discovers the truly staggering amount of porn on the human internet.

(#00646 - A281)

“Ha. I have found an archive of human mating rituals.”

Krezlor peered over Brixik’s shoulder. “This does not appear to be a documentary…”

“[Oh no,]” said the definitely female human on the screen. “[I can’t pay for the pizza… there must be some way I can… trade

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Challenge #00645 - A280: Performance Art

 ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is so culturally engrained now that starting it is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…

Open Mic Night at the Tunnel Cafe…

It was where many a young performer honed their act before taking it further out into the open. People came here to steal other people’s jokes. People came here with dreams of stardom. And Shayde came here, apparently, to hold a guitar and tell jokes.

Having done some research

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Human Religions

Aliens discover celebrity fandoms (Elvis, Morgan Freeman, etc.) and take them for human religions.

(#00644 - A279)

[AN: This is going to be interesting because the Amalgam Universe does possess the First Church of Elvis…]

From the journals of Kor'kor the Fascinated:

The humans, as always, were very welcoming and allowed me to trade for a ticket to their ceremonial enclosure. The sacrament was a large portion of exploded grain. Perhaps a sacrifice to the spirits?

The exploded grains were coated

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Challenge #00643 - A278: Culinary Compromise

Why would you hate the [species]? The [species] aren’t eating everyone because they’re evil, they’re eating everyone because they’re fucking delicious.

“We need the meat alive for surviving,” said the Horg Captain. Griis. “Is forever the way.”

Of all the deathworlders they had ever met, these were on the most extreme scale. Their world was so badly a class five that it almost qualified for new categorisation as the first and only known class

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Challenge #00642 - A277: Forbidden Fruit

Heresy is Delicious. Don’t believe me? Put Kosher mustard on a ham and cheese sandwich and find out for yourself!

“So… you decided to open a restaurant on the greater thoroughfare of the business district.”

“That is correct,” said the lizard.

“All the forms and paperwork are correct… but you also decided to sell foods ordinarily under social and religious restrictions.”

“That is also correct. Cogniscent Shayde performed the idea in public.

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Challenge #00641 - A276: BSOD

Emergency Brain error reboot Y/N

Error encountered at local clock 13:25:57

Erasing subsequent data

Restarting from automatic backup…

The spinning wheel annoyed her as she waited in etherspace for her hardware and software to agree on a stepstone. It was one thing she had in common with the organics.

Sound came first, as the audio receptors booted up. Her assistant was explaining the boot-up process and the need for lexicon patches to the luckless cogniscent who had said

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Challenge #00640 - A275: One Fine Evening in a Filthy Spaceport Bar

We believe that the universe itself is conscious in a way that we can never truly understand. It is engaged in a search for meaning. So it breaks itself apart, investing its own consciousness in every form of life. We are the universe trying to understand itself.- Delenn, Babylon 5

“Well that doesn’t make sense,” said Hwell. He, too, was propping up a bar and ingesting something bad for him. “Humans, we all well know, are

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Challenge #00639 - A274: An Axe to Grind

It was distressing how many problems a good murder could solve.

[AN: According to the doctors, I am now officially fine. According to me, there is still a tightness in my throat that I am going to see my doctor about]

Too many arseholes in the world. Far too many. But if one could select an arsehole to excise from reality… If you could pick the ones who were most to blame for the current, sordid state of reality…

If

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Challenge #00638 - A273: Capitalism

It’s like selling people a gold nugget, then a silver nugget with gold covering, then you get a copper one with gold covering, the next version they sell you a iron Nugget with gold paint before selling you a glass marble calling it the ‘next big thing’.

“It’s all about makin’ stuff faster and cheaper, but no’ necessarily better. It’s about convincin’ the customers that faster an’ cheaper is better, ye ken.

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Challenge #00637 - A272: But the Cat Came Back...

…and the cat is still not allowed into the tea room because he’s convinced that somewhere there is catnip if he can only destroy enough to get at it.

“Whsk!” Pattie aimed a spray at the incoming Skitty. “Ffffft! HSSSSS!”

“Ma'am,” said Officer Marken. “I’m afraid it’s against station regulations to interfere with a Skitty’s duties.” She already had the digipad out and was taking notes.

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Challenge #00636 - A271:

They’ll get along like a house on fire, in the sense that there will be significant property damage and possible casualties.

He was looking for allies and none of the bigger interests had any interests in his interests. And his Lizard guide wasn’t much help.

“You may try Ambassador for Nineteen Eighty-Six, Shayde Pitt. I predict you will get along like a house on fire.”

“I’ll teach ya how to talk proper yet,”

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