Be Prepared

A 2-post collection

Challenge #01077-B345: Urban Swashbuckler

Out for a walk and carrying a golf umbrella, walker is attacked by nesting birds. Falls into temptation from watching Far Too Many Fantasy Shows. Opening line. "Beware foul fiends for I am the greatest blade you'll ever meet!" And there are bystanders. Have fun! -- Knitnan

There are several ways to carry an umbrella in modern society, and none of them worked for Latora. There was always one convenience after another that made all the traditional methods a problem. Which was why she turned her umbrella wrap into a hip sheath by attaching it to a spare belt.

It certainly gave her a lot more swagger on the streets. Fewer people bothered her with the rig on. Men who usually pestered her kept their mouths shut. Sure, she got a little bother from the police, but it was very hard for a bright pink, frilly, Hello Kitty umbrella to look anything like a weapon and they knew it too.

The only real problem, when she got down to it, was the birds. Some really aggressive avians had settled into her stomping grounds and made life hell for everyone who passed. Except Latora. Because the birds did not know how to cope with the sudden appearance of a large expanse of Hello Kitties.

And this morning, after a Muskateers marathon, she couldn't help herself.

The birds began to swoop.

She unsheathed her umbrella and cried, "Have at thee, fowl fiends," and pressed the button.

One of the hardy perennial Stoop Dudes laughed as he recorded it on his phone. "Oh yeah," he said. "That's gonna be a million hits."

"Yeah, and I get a share of the million dollars, homeboy."

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I am now prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse

I finally got one. The essential item for every geek’s arsenal against the nigh-inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Yes! I finally got a hold of my machete.

Good old Annaconda. The go-to place for stuff you can’t get anywhere else because it’s a bit on the weird side.

Alas, ‘cause they’re a camping gear mob, they don’t have scythes. Phooey.

On the other hand, the blokes are off fixing the ride-on mower, so

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