Amalgam Universe

“They’re arguing in the manner of inebriated scientists, which is to say semi-incoherently, passionately, and with citations.”

“Na, na, na, na… ‘E wasnae sayin’ tha’ black holes don’t exist… 'E was sayin’ th’ math w’s easier if'n they didn’t.”

“But that’s… that’s… that’s… thassnot the quote pipple use…”

“Aye, an’ John Lennon never said The Beatles were bigger n’ Jesus, neither.”

“I have absolutelynoidea who you're talking’ about…”

“Common quotes'r like (hic) mud. They’re common and they’re filthy.”

“And…” burp, “fulla microfauna?”

“And flora.”

“And worms and bugs.”

Lyr appeared by his shoulder. “I thought Shayde reacted to alcohol like it was arsenic.”

“So did I,” said Rael. “And yet… they are clearly inebriated.”

“Annit has tae be plank’s constant…” Shayde slurred, “because reasons.”

“Those bein’?”

“The math doesnae work if ye don’t use it. Dur.”

“I’m halfway tempted to record this,” said Rael, watching them both from his position on the corner of a handy cross-way.

“I can already get them for graffito in a non-graffiti zone,” Lyr offered. “As well as public inebriation. Problem is, that work would just about pay for it.”

“That is,” offered Rael, “if it was actually physics.”

“You can’t tell?”

Rael glared at her. “This is Shayde we’re talking about.”

Lyr sighed. “True. And the last time she did physics this big, she tore a hole in reality and fell down it. I should lock them up for their own protection.”

Rael smiled. “Have I ever told you how much I like the way you think, Officer Marken?”

[Muse food remaining: 27. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

*totally wasn’t rereading old daily stories for art ideas, nope not me*

You’ve got a few titles for the horror movies, books, tv shows and assorted media starring humans before proper first contact was made scattered in the daily drabbles, may we see one?

[AN: Of course I’m not going to write the whole thing]

They thought they were safe inside the base. But then, they thought that sprinkling their crops with capsaicin would stop the

“I think its cute how a human’s normal reaction to a loud noise is to make a loud noise back”

Love is many things, as a great writer once wrote, none of them logical.

This is true across the species, but with the humans? Only more so.

K'iiv had been holding the Noise back until his beloved mammal, Del, was fully awake and not holding anything hot or spill-able.

“I pretty much have to do the thing,

It says something about us as a species that we can see the most badass creature in any given biome, the one that not even the top predators will go near, and decide “I am going to ride that.”

They should never have gone planet-side, no matter how much Hwell complained about ‘cabin fever’. And, once they went planet-side, they definitely didn’t have to go on a tour.

And they certainly should never have gone on

Something about the other alien species and the sheer amounts of food that humans eat that would digest us alive if we didn’t digest them first. Maybe a human explaining why we want that legalised to be imported on to a space station (because nobody likes eating nothing but space bran flakes)

“Council will hear…” T'rev moaned. “The Human Coalition.”

“As secretary of the Human Coalition on this station, I receive numerous petitions and

“You know, considering how resilient humans are most of the time it’s a bit surprising that their reproductive system is so unprotected, especially the males.”

*pained moaning from just offscreen* 

This was beyond surreal. Sitting next to a human (well, technically human) and watching an ancient, speciesist movie with a human starring as the main antagonist. With the unbelievable knowledge that the human had instigated this.

He had asked why, but her answer made no sense. “Because

“a particularly nasty paradox tangle involving one monstrous salamander, sixteen copies of a popular children’s book, and a length of lead pipe”

“No. I heard it was Kudzu, unrestrained cheese and a goldfish.”

“No way. It was mouldy bread, a pile of newsprint and a tribe of cusp-cogniscent mice.”

“I swear it was the one about the hippopotamus, the hedge and the piano.”

“I thought it was just a blockage in a

“Darling, I love you, and I could never be scared of you. However some things you do will terrify me on a primal level, so please do not be offended that I practically teleport off the couch every time you do that scree-ah noise.”

“You mean this one?” Scree-ah!

“EEE!” Pant pant pant. “Yes. That’s the one. Gets me right in the primitive cortex.”

“Even with a warning?”

“Yes,

You probably already saw this but here’s another prompt for you:

http://cleromancy.tumblr.com/post/69788968504/something-i-think-about-a-lot-is-what-if-alien

[AN: No, I hadn’t seen it, but I’m running with the idea]

Not everyone meets the galactic confluence at a convenient time. And rather than rousing the ire of over thirty thousand assorted ambassadors just for an introduction, a new Ambassador is sent to go on a tour of the most important planets to know about.

And ever

Dogs on an interplanetary space station. What could possibly go wrong?

[AN: Here’s one I did earlier… But I presume you mean non-augments, so…]

The galactic community were just barely getting used to humans. There were large numbers of cogniscents who tended to run and hide when they spotted even a small one. Luckily, many humans did not view this as an insult and, in fact, some found it amusing.

The galactic community were also barely accustomed to

The concept of pets is an odd one to explain, although firsthand experience tends to fill in the gaps you can’t quite articulate. And when pets are involved experience is going to happen whether it is planned or not.

Jane figured she should get used to aliens feeling her. They didn’t mean to be rude, she knew. They were just curious.

But, she swore to God, if one more of them tried to taste her hair…

One

Someone has taken a formal invitation to its logical creative interpretation and shown up/put someone else in a literal penguin suit

“I still say the instructions were a little vague,” said Rael.

“You managed tae follow them,” Shayde noted. She was resplendent in an empire-line gown in gold and white. She’d also done something with her hair that made it sparkle.

“Yes, but I know your lexicon. Others are not so advantaged. I had

“No, Lasagne! My only weakness!”

Rael did his utmost to resist Shayde’s variants of charm. It rarely worked, but he persisted. Often as much as she did.

It had, in fact, reached the point where she arrived with temptation in hand. Usually in a tin box, but this time, she arrived with a thermally insulated parcel.

“I know ye dinnae like the ballet, but I have tae go an’ yer me preferred plus one. And ye