Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Is there a cure for Fail yet?

I started my morning at 3AM, following a dream in which I saw a partial clip for a new music video from the best band in the world] The bit I remember is Chelsea and Camille doing Busby Berkeley style ballet on giant red steps while dressed in articulated metal snowflake costumes.

My subconscious is a very strange place.

And the thing that ALWAYS happens when I dream about my absolute favourites happened - I woke up. But I also woke up to the feeling of something clogging my lung tubes that would not firkin shift.

I could not get back to sleep, for all that I tried.

For those of you who can't understand why I keep having asthma attacks and not noticing... try a simple experiment. Find a clean cotton garment and hold one or two thicknesses over your nose and mouth and breathe through it for a while. You're fine, right? Now fold it in two and try again. You still got this. Now keep going until you really need to rip that thing away and gasp for air.

That's my asthma. But completely out of any kind of control and over the passage of DAYS.

And the feel of a really bad asthma attack is almost an identical sternum-stabbing pain to the feel of my usual panic attack.

I'd already taken a full dose of everything on Max, the night before. And I was still trembly from that, so I took a saline dose to try and shift the muck. Still no luck with that, BTW.

I felt something I never have with a saline dose. My pinkie fingers had pins and needles. Usually, my hands do that after a really bad asthma session, but this time it was the saline that gave me the sensation. There is something effed up with me.

I'll survive it, I know that much. But GDI, I wish I knew how to get rid of it now.

Meanwhile, my tired arse has to make it through the day and haul Chaos off to Karate lessons. Where I hope and pray she actually pays more attention this time. I STFG if she keeps playing with the fucking mirrors, I am not paying for lessons.

I can barely function, today. And I still have to pay bills, go shopping, and run errands.

And to top it all off, the second video I sent in to possibly get into a Steam Powered Giraffe video may not be what they want because I rushed ahead without thinking. Argh. I feel like such a loser.

Sixteen days and a handful of hours before I get my greasy little hands on an e-copy of Quintessential aka Steam Powered Giraffe's Vintage Song Clearinghouse. It's the albumest album to ever album, folks.

I need coffee and emotional support, but all my family have left for other destinations.

...I wonder how long I have to go between saline doses?

Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

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I fail at human

My brain, as Thomas Dolby once sang, is like a sieve. I don't intend to forget things? But... it happens.

And when one of those things is as simple as checking my email as part of the process that makes sure my mother is still okay... I really fail at human.

Aliens, come take me away, because I am very obviously not of this world.

I'm at the stage where I have to scribe reminders on the back of my hand or

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Anxiety sucks

I've been having a little executive dysfunction, lately. Dawdling about things because I'm secretly scared of everything that could possibly go wrong. And everything that could impossibly go wrong, too. Because I like scaring myself, apparently.

As I frequently say when I give myself the horrors, my brain hates me.

I still don't know why I'm scared to send in the tax form to Smashwords. It's just one of the many things about me that make no sense whatsoever.

And I'm

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Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

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Weekends, Hooray!

I love weekends. They give me a chance to fart around and do nothing much.

Since I spend my Fridays doing 1K, it means that Saturday and Sunday are both days to laze around and faff about. Both are important parts of the writing cycle. Both lead to excessive amounts of daydreaming which lead to more fiction! Yay!

In my case, it means fiction that I don't have to write, which you will get to see over on my baby forum whenever

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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Wiki Walks and how they fuel me

For those who've never been on one, a Wiki Walk is where you look up one topic [for example, on wikipedia] and follow interesting areas down a rabbit-hole. Only to emerge somewhere around Real Ghost Stories or Cryptids Near Me wondering how the hell you got there from where you started.

Today's Wiki walk started with Extra Credit - which covers a lot of interesting things, including various languages you can tell a story to an audience in, and I'm not talking

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Challenge #01312-C217: Unsuitable Revival

"What's a Fairy Floss machine? Is it some kind of weapon of mass destruction?

"You probably call it Cotton Candy."

"Nope! Never heard of it."

"Look I'll show you how it works."

10 minutes and 300plus small children later.

"You know, it just might be a weapon of mass destruction." -- Anon Guest

There are phrases of doom. "Hey watch this," coming from a human, is a sure sign that something impressively dangerous is about to happen. Shayde has hundreds of them,

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I'm running contest

I'm pretty darn close to having 300 followers who aren't porn blogs, so I'm doing a thank you give-away of both books and hand-made earrings. Follow the link for all details.

So not only do you have a chance of winning some excellent writing but also some of my hand-made jewelry featured in the original post. Get to it, dear readers!

In other news, I have recently heard that my stories are excellent cures for at least one relative's insomnia. Thanks. I

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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up

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Well that sure worked

It was census night last night. Fortunately, in an effort to go paperless, the Aussie Government decided to allow the citizens to fill out all the census information online.

UNfortunately, this was a massive cock-up because the people running this country have no idea what happens when about twenty-three million people attempt to log into the same URL at once. They could have looked up "DOS attack" before they started. Really.

Also unfortunately, lots of the old-fashioned paper forms have been lost

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Challenge #01310-C215: The Opposite of Magic

But they just ran into the world’s best spell mangler. She has the protection of a unicorn. She carries what is probably a fully intelligent sword that can do whatever needs doing to bring justice to a situation. And she is the host of a living magical spell that likes to do things to people who try and mess with it. -- RecklessPrudence

There is magic, everyone knows this. People with the ability to wield it range from those who have

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Self-maintenance is not "work"

I've come to the realisation that I class my self-maintenance regimes as "work". As in, I tend not to do them when I'm having a relax day.

This is bad.

I need to maintain myself because the backslide takes a lot of time to recover from. And it's happening faster and steeper as I get older.

I also need to keep in contact with MeMum because Time is a bastard. I am a scatterbrained doodle and this week makes it worse.

Ugh.

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