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Shayde

A 72-post collection

Challenge #01730-D269: Comeback

Deep fried Mars Bar. The dreaded chip buttie (fries on a buttered bun), Floater (Aussie effort: Meat pie floating in pea soup). -- KnitNan

"I've been everywhere," said Shayde, mis-estimating the size of the station by cubic klicks[1]. "Nobody around even knows what fries are an' I'm gaggin' fer a chip buttie."

Nik, overhearing this complaint to the universe at large, gestured her to come closer to his cooking station. "Tell me about these things you call 'fries' and the... chip buttie."

Rael set his eye cam onto record to get all the details. There was no way to tell when something could be cross-checked by the Archivaas. Some research had revealed that 'fries' were a pre-Shattering staple, but nobody knew how to make them.

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Challenge #01725-D264: Blind Spot

"You can't just get lucky and expect everyone to treat you like an expert!"

"Why not? That's what you did?" -- Anon Guest

Ambassador Shayde glared at the junior aide. "I'm no' merely lucky," she said. "I got into the Ambassador gig by pure accident. Fer all that's happened, I could'a well had a knowledge base that missed everythin' the Archivaas ever had. I could'a been dismissed as a dangerous fraud if I'd never met th' Consortium o' Steam or no' known

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Challenge #01719-D258: Near Lethal Combination

Finally, almost thirty-five minutes into their wait and seventeen minutes into [Responsible Authority Figure]'s scolding ([RAF's best friend, Shit-Stirrer] kept track; the record was thirty-four minutes, twenty-seven seconds, which [Shit-Stirrer] was ashamed to admit was on account of [much-less-responsible person RAF is mentoring in the ways of fighting both physical and magical, often compared to an excitable puppy] and masochistically determined to beat)... -- RecklessPrudence

If enthusiasm was light, Paxifraxx would be a pulsar. Deadly when aimed in the right direction,

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Challenge #01716-D255: One Pot Screamer

Hwell Barrow gets his hands on "knurd" that Discworld drink that you wake up sober with. He drank a Lot! -- Knitnan

Shayde is old enough to remember what 'Kickapoo Joy Juice' was, and when she or her friends were studying for extreme lengths of time, she had invented 'Kikyernuts Brain Fire'. Which was a carefully-calibrated mixture of every stimulant known to mankind at the time. In a dose so strong that it was fractionally short of being lethal. She had a

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Challenge #01694-D233: They Aren't the Champions

Something nice about all those who will never be champions but compete and play sport, and love it. -- Anon Guest

They say, do what you love, and you will never need to work again. This only really works if one is good at the thing one loves. There are people, out there, who are absolute pants at the thing they love. But they do it anyway, because love is, as the song says, strange.

Case in point, the Arse End Football

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Challenge #01691-D230: Dangerous Lifeforms

[Name] wondered if considering that statement to be a fine example of famous last words made them unduly paranoid or just conscious of historical precedent. -- RecklessPrudence

There are numerous, common, famous last words. "I think it's going to be all right," is in the top ten. Likewise, "Hold my beer, I've got this," or, "Hey, watch this!" But of the all-time destined-to-be-last-words, Grax thought that, "Awright, silleh bugurz..." had to be a record-holder for the first prize.

Especially when it came

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Challenge #01680-D219: Rockit Launch 'n' BBQ

Actual thing said over the ruins of a test engine that had found a new fuel mix too spicy for it: "Whall, rocket fuel is kinda like a chain saw. If it warn't dangerous, it wouldn't be very useful." -- RecklessPrudence

People make assumptions. That much was natural. You see the way someone dresses. You hear the way they speak. You assume things about the rest of them. Most of those things are wrong. Katie Walker had learned this and used it

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Challenge #01676-D215: Starter Fuel

The morning cup of coffee, the snack brought from the little shop nearby, whatever gets you going in the morning. -- Anon Guest

It was a booth called, Eat Drink Good Morning and there was one strategically placed in all the tram stops near residential areas. According to the advertising on its exterior, it boasted "everything you need to start your day".

Shayde decided to put that to the test. Besides, she'd had a horrible night and needed her variety of pick-me-up.

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Challenge #01670-D209: Incident at the Old Mating Grounds

Lizards attract mates differently, no flowers etc. So, how do the Amalgam lizards court? One of the local species here climbs to a prominent spot, poses and nods. -- Anon Guest

They called it Crestflare Bridge, and it had an unparallelled view of the Free Table Vendor area below. Tradition held that the tables would never have shaded covers. Because the females of assorted lizard species liked looking on the displaying males as they cruised between vendors.

Even now, centuries after the

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Challenge #01663-D202: Conceptual Difficulties

Defying the Gods is an age-old tradition. How well it WORKS depends on who's telling it... -- RecklessPrudence

"We're having difficulty understanding this," said Sherlock.

"I sympathise," said Rael. "I'm having difficulty understanding it myself, and I was there to witness it."

"We have the footage and the audio, of course," Sherlock played it on one of his multiple screens. "She had a permit for incense and steam[1]. What was she doing with them?"

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Challenge #01643-D182: High-level Negotiations

Do you ever get the feeling that (God/the Gods) (has/have) a plan? And you're the only one who can stop it? -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the forces of the multiverse, none is more terrifying than a being with the Gods on their side. They are unstoppable, indomitable, and irrevocable. And of all the beings in the multiverse, none are more pitiable than the ones the Gods merely use as a tool.

And when one comes against the other...

Shayde faced

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Challenge #01630-D169: Can't Eat Just One

It is so hard to eat just one peanut or popcorn. -- Anon Guest

The humans had a word for it. They had a word for lots of things. This one was 'more-ish'. As opposed to 'moorish', which meant 'a human with darker skin, usually originating from a specific area of the largest continent in the northern hemisphere', this one meant that the person eating the thing found it so tasty that they wanted... more.

One such food, easily digested even by

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Challenge #01628-D167: Honey Trap

When stepping into a Gods domain, enter as the supplicant or as something greater than a God. Never as a conqueror, Gods take a deep and personal delight in casting down challenges to their authority. -- RecklessPrudence

We apologise for the inconvenience, said the words in her head. We must quarantine you from reality as you know it.

After ten years of bouncing from reality to reality, the being who called herself Shayde had to wonder what these superior powers were up

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Challenge #01611-D150: Two Birds

"HOW?"

"You know, I learned a long time ago that if you say that in any matter relating to [Person], if you even get an answer it will probably lead to more questions." -- RecklessPrudence

They used to say, "if a problem's big enough, the Glunk will take care of it" on Amalgam Station. As a hostile biohazard, it was unique in the known universe. For a start, it was the only known biohazard in civilisation that counted as its own district.

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Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

"Fat grubs in butter sauce." this was from a Lizard culture's idea of Snack Food. Humans have popcorn, crisps, peanuts etc. So how about one of those Snack Food van equivalents that caters to various species, and make a good living thereby. -- Knitnan

Eat Snax the sign blared in potentially noxious colours. Underneath, a more staid sign discreetly told the observant that this was a suggestion and not an order. Inside the ludicrously small booth, a popcorn popper was doing its

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