What do I do to myself?

Roughly 12:30 AM, this morning. I wake up to the sensation of Beloved getting up in the literal middle of the night to go do something. I even heard the bedroom door open and close.

So after half an hour of trying to get back to sleep, I send Beloved a "WTF" text and really work at trying to slumber. In another half hour I roll over to discover Beloved by my side as if they had always been there. Sound asleep.

I had hallucinated the entire getting-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing. Replete with door noises.

Now, either my brain is very good at coming up with reasons to wake me up at fuckoff in the morning, or there is something dramatically wrong with said brain and I need to get rid of that tendency somehow.

Me? I want to kill that bit with fire.

Waking up at fuckoff in the morning is NOT my world's favourite activity. That would be attending all the Steam Powered Giraffe en robotte with some benevolent squillionaire paying for it all and all of the merch I could eat.

...I'm allowed to dream.

Miss Chaos has come under the influence of the Lurgi, so today's adventures now include making sure she gets all the fluids she needs.

Which is going to be interesting for me because I'm due to see my Shrink today. So far, I've been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and some weird peripheral form of ASD that means I won't get any help at all from other agencies.


Conquering the anxiety is going to be an uphill battle if this morning is any indicator.

And now I really need some coffee.