Into Darkness

A 1-post collection

Star Trek: Into Darkness - One Dork's Opinion

Massive spoilers for the movie under the cut.

Mr Abrams… You’re directing the thing that caused thousands of nerds like myself to study things like physics and sundry other sciences in order to help make the reality that got us hooked. You should therefore NOT FUCK UP PHYSICS, YOU FUCK!

Shit, man.

Seriously. The half-a-planet looked awesomely cool and all, but that was a still shot from a damned incipient planetary disaster. That half-moon in contact with the main planet should have blown said main planet the fuck up. And I know who thought that was a great fucking idea. The DIRECTOR.

Physics Phail one.

Then there’s the fact that once the gravity fails in space, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE IN FREE-FALL.

Physics Phail two.

Third, if you’re in orbit around the MOON, and everything keeping you in orbit fails, you should FALL TOWARDS THE GODDAMN MOON.

Physics Phail three.

As a favour to your future, don’t piss off the fans. We learned this shit and then you go and ignore it. We don’t like yelling at the screen. Okay?

And now the thing that’s all the heck over the InterWebs.

Why is someone named KHAN NOONIEN SINGH whiter than virgin snowfall? There was no explanation as to why he HAD to be Bendydot Cummabund. There’s so many, many, many brown actors who could plausibly fill the part.

Hell, Gene managed it with less budget and a latino fella called Ricardo Montalban. Accent and all.

Doubtless, everyone and anyone has seen the long, long, looooonnnnnng list of alternate actors who could have both (a) passed as Indian and (b) had the chops for such a nifty role, but -hey- who could pass up Kirk V. Sherlock Holmes. Right?

I hope that was your excuse.

Anyway, for the nerds not in the know, this was not The Wrath of Khan remake. This was more like the two-hour remake of the original episode Space Seed. In that one, the Blonde-of-the-week had time to fall for Khan’s charms and start a new planet that was going to be ┬áspin-off that never happened. THEN the other one happened.

Of course, this is an AU, with a spring-point being the Origin of Kirk(tm, pat pend) so everything we know from TOS is essentially tipped on its ear.

And thanks to this movie, we also know that fan-favourite, The Trouble With Tribbles, has already happened, so we’re not going to see a two-hour remake of that.

Thanks a bunch, Mr Abrams. [/sarcasm]

Still does not explain how an Indian from 500-so years ago turned into a white fella.

What next? A sexy Horta? No no. Forget I said that.

DO NOT give these folks more bad ideas.

The clearly already have PLENTY.