Meanwhile, at a Top Secret Government Organization…
Agent: “…and that, fortunately, was the moment the device overloaded and self-destructed. Division 6’s damage-control team was able to convince the public it was just a ignited leak from a gas line triggered by a malfunctioning industrial diesel generator.”
Chief: “Excellent; the last thing we could’ve been able to handle was that chemical getting to the water supply. Ah, our refreshments are ready. Thank you, Lav’der.”
Agent: “Hmph. I’ll pass. God knows what sort of… space goo… might’ve been slipped into the drinks by this… alien.”
Lav’der: “For the last time, sir, I am not an alien!”
Chief: Enough, agent! She may not share your seniority, but I will not have you addressing a fellow member of this organization so disrespectfully! Apologize to her at once!”
Agent: “She has antennae and a tail! And huge black eyes and no nose or ears! SHE IS AN ALIEN!”
Lav’der: “I WAS BORN IN OHIO, YOU IGNORANT PRICK!” -- ChaosWolf1982
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Agent Jankers. "Would you prefer I called you a Twitch? Or maybe a Coldback?"
Lav'der blushed green. "That language is inappropriate and inaccurate."
"Or maybe you prefer Greenie," said Jankers.
"And that's three write-ups. Jankers, You're piloting a desk and spending all your holiday time in Sensitivity Camp."
"Aw, Cap... I was just showing this humourless Binker--" Lav'der gasped and covered her mouth. "--how much worse she could have it. You both need to grow a pair and a sense of humour."