Challenge #01389-C294: Inevitable Failure

"Hey, I might constantly manipulate people to stack things in my favor, but actually cheating is pushing it a little bit too far," -- OohLookShiny

"It's like this," said the campaign manager. "We gerrymandered, and you're still losing. We've changed the voter ID laws, and you're still losing. We've criminalised a majority of the folks who would never vote for you, and you're still losing. We've sent out false messages about easier ways to vote to the youth demographic and you're still losing. At this point... what's a little ballot-stuffing between friends?"

"If we're caught, we're going to go to jail for the rest of our lives."

"I can live with 'if'. Pass me the bag of fake ballots."

The candidate did so, and the campaign manager began adding them to the previously-locked box of ballots.

The PA system crackled into life. "Hi there. I feel compelled to tell you at this point that your activities are being live-streamed across the globe and to every news station in the country. You're already being GIF'ed on the social media."

The candidate, tiny hands chock-full of false ballots, froze in place. "Well I can't be the only one rigging this election. Nobody'd want to vote for that [EXPLETIVE SLUR DELETED]."

"Thanks for saying that," said the voice. "Now that you've invalidated your own election, the citizens who once voted for you won't vote for you again. That sort of language has made your demographic shrink down to... your family. And even half of them aren't voting for you. Meanwhile, the police are on their way. They're also watching your live-streamed crimes."

"Who are you?" the candidate bellowed. "When I find you, I'm going to make your life a living hell, you hear me? I'll destroy everything you love!"

"Why, mister president," the voice cooed sarcastically. "You already did. I'm one of the multitude you left broke, broken, and dying. I'm one of the many paving stones in your path to alleged success. You cannot take from me any more."

Sputtering rage and foaming invective. And a failed attempt to set the fireproof ballots alight.

"And by the way, all your assets and holdings have been seized. They will be liquidated and used to house and feed single-parent families. And pay the hospital bills of the poor. Have a nice day."

And that was when the SWAT teams arrived to take him and his accomplice in. Already, he was denying that he was ever in this room.

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