Challenge #00117: And That's Why a Platypus.

A Mage teaching their Apprentice an ancient Bio-Hazard Disposal spell for failed experimental breeding subjects (as we all know, the traditional answer for a ridiculous and/or ridiculously dangerous creature is “A Wizard Did It”), and why Australia’s wildlife is so… unique. (At least, according to the rest (Real Life - Australia portion) of the world.


(And some of us)

“Co-ordinatum expelarmus…”

“Co-ordinatUS, expel-ee-ar-am-us,” corrected the master. “One wrong syllable, Mistress Caduceus, and this hazardous waste winds up lining your wardrobe interior.”

“What happens to it normally, Master?”

“IF you pronounce the spell correctly, IF you manage the correct grasp of your wand, Master Gask…” The master grasped the offending wrist and moved two fingers an occultly significant few millimeters. “The dangerously mutational waste winds up in a distant land that neither magic nor science can normally reach. Fortunately for everyone, you lot are practicing on harmless, coloured sand.”

“What happens to the distant land, sir?”

The master pinched his nose. “Caduceus…”

“Please, sir?”

“Waste magic is toxic. If anything’s even alive in there, the cross-firing magics will inevitably create dangerously toxic flora and fauna. Bizarre conglomerate animals like no other on this Earth. Even revivification of ancient animals long since dead. Depending on the spells interactive quotients, of course. You could even wind up with a venomous amphibious mammal that lays eggs!”

The rest of the class giggled.

“Sir?”

The master groaned, “Yes, Caduceus?”

“Have we… Have we thought of -um- making the spells and potions less… toxic?”

The master glared at her. “If we did that, magic itself would be reduced to useless herbology, crystals and mumbo-jumbo. And then science would take over. We don’t want that, do we?”

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