Self-Shill

A 12-post collection

Finances, Fucked up, and Fuckassery

I'm still hovering around the halfway mark with the New Compy Fund. If I clean everything out at once, I'm just past halfway there at $1.8K and this is because my automatic payment to my personal funds got cancelled because I took it out of the wrong account.

It's sorted out, now. Don't fret.

And I forget how I got through $210 out of my emergency funds, but it was probably food or clothes.

My scrimpings are up by $340 thanks to the kind contributions of MeMum and her technophobia, and also cooking in bulk and hoarding the rest in the freezer.

My plans for this week include making a gigantic bone broth as the base for a stew, and chucking in any vegetables that I can get at an affordable price. I predict loads of cabbage. Or, at least, the cabbages that I can actually ingest.

And now for the fuckassery. It turns out that all my extant compy might need is a new hard drive, which will mean backing the whole thing up, dragging it to Chermside and the nearest Apple store, and getting them to fix it for WAY less than it would cost for a new one.

This will cost amazing amounts of time, because Apple never do anything real quick, and might still result in me needing to get a new compy anyway, so I'd rather have that $3K ready in the wings. Just in case.

You can help, too, if you like. You can buy my books in e-format or even that one in print or get hold of my Amazon Exclusive Novella. Whatever floats your reading boat. You can pledge at my Patreon for as little as a dollar a month, and gain access to all kinds of weird shit that I haven't placed into the public view. Or, if you just have spare money lying around, you can send it directly to "nutty (at) internutter (dot) org" via PayPal.

People who send or otherwise figure out how to contribute $500 will get some kind of contact details so we can hash out that book you want me to write. Since I'm in the home stretch with Rael, I do request that you let me get that one out of the way real quick. The end of that one is thirteen weeks away and it'll probably take that long to argue about world-building and characterisation. And I'll put it up on Google Docs so you can butt in any time you like.

Just think - this is probably the cheapest authorial commission you can get. I have done zero research on this and I just know it's true ;)

I've reblogged all my books for sale. Nobody buys the short stories. I might as well change their pricing this October for All Hallows Read. Even though they're not spooky at all.

Also, I need to get my Beloved to weigh in on my cover-so-far for this years' free Halloween story. Which, thanks to one of my Betas, may yet have a Spanish Translation.

Everything's turning up sort of cool, actually.

O Fuck Help Me

OK so…

Um.

I might be doing some Readings Videos?

Like. Me. Reading. Shit from my books.

The novels though. Not the Instants. Because there’s firkin almost 900 of those little shits and just thinking about that has me Nope-ing out of Fuckoffsville.

I did not need this on top of an anxiety attack.

ANYWAY

Bright-ish idea occurred to me that I should probably read the BEST bits out of each book?

Like: Hevun’s Rebel, Hevun’s Ambassador, Hevun’

Read more »

knitnan: I do believe the "lorem ipsum" sample text used absolutely everywhere is latin. Modern Italian is different. [Double-checked with...

knitnan: I do believe the “lorem ipsum” sample text used absolutely everywhere is latin. Modern Italian is different. [Double-checked with Google Translate - it is Latin, and most of it is gibberish.]

davidgreyvvolf: Beloved is an old school programmer and prefers to handle WordPress at the end of a very long stick ;) All handmade for me during a rare day off. So extra hugs for Beloved.

Coming soon-as-we-can-arrange-more-free-time: More book samples and a daily story feature.

Read more »

YOOOOOOO!

This just in: Beloved is amazing.

I had a little baby breakdown about the impossibility of trying to break through the glass box that noob authors like me are stuck in. It involved lots of handflaps and raspberries if you’re interested.

Anyway, apparently I need a site so Google can find me. I mean, it can already find my shit on Smashwords and other fine e-Retailers… But this site will be completely different because… uh…

Actually I don’

Read more »

Did you know? You can read all about one innocent explorer’s close encounter with these dangerous creatures in The Amity...

Did you know? You can read all about one innocent explorer’s close encounter with these dangerous creatures in The Amity Incident!

Buy this book! Your survival depends on it!

READ! The thrilling tale of T'reka the Inquisitive!

THRILL! At the baffling and bizarre habits of humans!

FUND! This impoverished author so ze can afford to write more thrilling adventures!

Read more »

These are eight cells of a 64-cell page I made. All of those bitly links lead to one of the stories I have on Smashwords for free. Those...

These are eight cells of a 64-cell page I made. All of those bitly links lead to one of the stories I have on Smashwords for free.

Those stories are:

I printed five pages, and trimmed them into four-cell strips along the rows, and now have them in a little nest in case of haloweenies who can’t have sugar.

And if they can’t read, either,

Read more »