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Magical Mayhem

A 19-post collection

Challenge #01687-D226: The City of Ghosts

"The priests and holy-men, they claim those things out there are the restless ghosts of dead gods."

"And what do you think?"

"I'm not so sure they're ghosts." -- Anon Guest

They called this land the Dead Plains. The grasses grew high, but trees would not. Neither deer nor cow would voluntarily graze on the grasses, here. Even horses, an animal universally recognised as rather dim, would not walk into the preternatural flatness of the Dead Plains. And worse, it was fresh after Fire Season, when the desolate nature of this area was laid bare and black for all to see.

"What are they, then?" asked Baudrik, world's unluckiest apprentice, as he helped his master pull the cart across the blackened wastes. He did his utmost not to look at the indistinct white figures as they went about their peculiar dances on the plains. They certainly looked like ghosts.

"That's what I aim to find out. Legends say that there was a great war and a great weapon. Like all great weapons in legends, it made the people vanish, but left the buildings intact. And, of course, it was used. Or something went wrong and it turned against its creators." Investigator Karis puffed as she spoke. This was harder work than either of the were used to. "The people didn't quite vanish. And the buildings... went away. All that was left was a barren plain where only wild grass would grow, and no sensible living thing would ever wander."

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Challenge #01681-D220: Worth of a Rat

[Asked to apprentice under a powerful, but poor, magic-user - their response]

[Mage]: Hm... Okay, but I can only pay you in unimaginable power.

[Prospective Apprentice]: That works. -- RecklessPrudence

The child was outside her tower again. Humming. Not any particular tune, no, just an aimless grind of voice that was like a slow-turning belt sander against the soul. It was persistently annoying enough for her to disrupt her experiments and take the journey down to ground level.

"Didn't I tell you

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Challenge #01662-D201: The Motivation Game

“Please do not destroy the irreplaceable magical artefacts, no matter how annoying they are,” -- RecklessPrudence

The Orb of Vexation chortled at Verski. With a sigh of regret, Verski put it back onto its cushion and re-sealed the Gate of Infinity. Finally, he turned to his tutor and said, "But why?"

"Aw, da diddle baba gonna cry," said the Orb of Vexation. "Waaaah, waaah."

Maester Kalrix conjured Cone of Silence over the Orb. "No matter how trying they are, these are important

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Challenge #01656-D195: Amazing How it Works

[Name]'s job description is less Indiana Jones and more "disarming multi-millennia old nuclear weapons without an instruction manual". - of an action archaeologist in a fantasy realm -- RecklessPrudence

Elbi was classed as a Rogue. Technically. It was her job to detect and disarm millenia-old deathtraps so that the rest of her team could safely document and investigate archaeological curiosities. And what never ceased to amaze was the fact that, despite eons of neglect, every single one of these traps was

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Challenge #01644-D183: The Hero's Third Hand

"Hah! And what can you possibly do? We have already defeated the Destined Hero!"

"Not Destined, but gonna be a Hero anyway!" -- RecklessPrudence

The thief arrived in the Evil Sorcerer's tower two minutes too late. Just in time to watch the Hero Foretold breathe his last. Just in time to hear the Evil Sorcerer laugh malevolently at the sight of the unforetold corpse. There were no tears. There was no sorrow. Just a quickly-rising rage.

"The hero foretold to bring my

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Challenge #01642-D181: Reformation

(To a powerful Mage who, since the moment a cataclysmic war ended, has been attempting reforms of the - dangerous to the very fabric of the universe - way magic is taught and thought about, from some soldiers who were standing guard outside the Council chambers)

[Soldier]:"[Mage]," said one. "What the fuck?"

[Mage]: "I don't have to start another war," they said. "This is a good thing. I can go be happy somewhere else if it bothers you."

[Soldier]: "Uh," said

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Challenge #01641-D180: According to Prophecy

"It wasn't because of betrayal that I sent you away. It was a matter of insurance. You needed to survive, in case this happened." -- RecklessPrudence

"Mother," said the Rogue Princess, "I'm with the Rebellion. I'm here with the army foretold to end your reign."

"I know," sighed Queen Maliss. "It was foretold. It was also foretold that we would die together if I kept you close to my heart. I know you despise me. And the things I had to do.

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Challenge #01628-D167: Honey Trap

When stepping into a Gods domain, enter as the supplicant or as something greater than a God. Never as a conqueror, Gods take a deep and personal delight in casting down challenges to their authority. -- RecklessPrudence

We apologise for the inconvenience, said the words in her head. We must quarantine you from reality as you know it.

After ten years of bouncing from reality to reality, the being who called herself Shayde had to wonder what these superior powers were up

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Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

"To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened." -- RecklessPrudence

It's not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons' lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues

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Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

You washed two, now there's only one sock. Black Hole? Alternate dimension? Sir P'Terry's sock Eater? -- Anon Guest.

Even in the modern day, there are things unknown to magic or science. The hidden creatures that have so far evaded notice by the common and uncommon worlds. They eke out an existence in the forgotten corners. And live where you'd never notice them. One such creature is the line-dangling shoe lark, which exclusively nests in the shoes random people throw over the

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Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

But the [Tech] is on the fritz due to what I believe would be classified as 'bombardment by an angry god', which violates your warranty, as we all know. -- RecklessPrudence

The Smudger hemmed and hawed over the broom. Ran a pendulum over the length of it and whistled backwards, the sure sign that something expensive was about to happen. "Are you sure you haven't angered any gods?" they said.

"Not to my knowledge," said Duji. She had her knitting out because

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Challenge #01591-D130: A Drain on Evil

"I mean, I mostly just want to have fun and help people in the process. And if sometimes that means I have to open a literal portal to Hell and drag its powers shrieking into the light of day, well, that's just how the cookie crumbles, y'know? That doesn't make me scary." -- RecklessPrudence

"You see," said Francine. "When I invented the empathetic energy extractor, the prototype ran on what I thought was an infinite resource. Love. It turned out that human

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Challenge #01558-D097: New Start

For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth. -- RecklessPrudence

There's a saying in the streets, It's easy to fall, harder to rise. The streets are hard, and hot, and freezing cold at the same time. It makes people that are hard, who have hot tempers and cold hearts. They grasp for anything that will get them ahead. Even if

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Challenge #01553-D092: The Dunwich Power Initiative

Oh, the tears of eldritch horrors? Yeah, those are technically a renewable resource. -- RecklessPrudence

"They weigh a third of a ton each, they're pure crystal and, when struck, emit an energy that can be harnessed by a sphere of aluminium. I mean, in the 1800's, that was impossible, but now..."

"Aluminium is everywhere. I get it. So how much energy can we extract from one of these things?"

"Uh... probably about 100 terawatts per tear."

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Challenge #01544-D083: Il Pleut

They can make it rain, some perform Arcane rituals, some pray. But of course there is the old tried and true methods. -- Knitnan

There's a reason why the Affiliate College of Rainmakers is on a boat. And why the uniform contains rain coats and wellingtons. You don't collect so many Rainmakers in one place without taking precautions. It's only by the third year of attempting control that many students actually achieve it.

Though it is hard to tell without field trips.

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