Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Humans are insane. Definitely. Undeniably. Humans are insane by the standards of the greater galactic community. That did not prepare anyone for the sight of one of the passengers, at most five from the look of them, possibly younger from the sound of them, seizing a mug meant to hold hot liquids, approaching their nearest parent, and saying:

"Hey! Where my coffee?"

That the desired liquid turned out to be hot cocoa that the child was only pretending was coffee did little to ease the crew's distress at the thought of the chaos that could be created by a very young human energized by caffeine. -- Anon Guest

Humans are very strange. Some would definitely classify the entire species as insane. They are remarkably safe despite being Deathworlders and it is their very insanity that might be responsible for making them so. Science is still attempting to determine the truth. Individual Humans can have understandable logic, but once they gather in groups, once they band together in packs or families... all bets are off.

Case in point, mid-journey for the Planetary Surveyor Archis XVII, where a family of Humans are all simultaneously Ships' Human. Even the young, which is currently still in the educational phase of maturation. The time is breakfast, and one of the communal nest of Humans is busy with meal preparation whilst the youngest, Human Jil, is allegedly consuming their nutrition.

Humans have been known to be possessive about peculiar things. They can, have, and will pack-bond with anything. This has been noted in drinking vessels also carrying emotional weight. A Human will go out of their way to ensure that they drink out of their drinking vessel and none other, despite the vessels being nearly indistinguishable from each other. In the case of Human Jil, the vessel was a very large insulated mug with the words, Mind the Undertow in an amusing font[1]. This was the vessel she grabbed and inspected, finding it wanting.

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Challenge #02704-G147: The Dying of the Might

They were wealthy. Beyond wealthy. They owned two space stations and an entire solar system, and ran these places harshly. Those that displeased them lost their jobs and were often left in ruin, even for the smallest infractions. Entire families sent into desperate poverty and isolation just because a single member made a mistake on the job.

And for them? Life was excellent. They had everything they could ever need or want. They lived in utter luxury. They had more Time than

Challenge #02703-G146: Gathering For Time

A human with a fascination with the history and preparation of toxic plants for food is caught in a survival situation, on a death world filled with toxic plants, with a group of havenworlders who require simple sugars. With a scanner, personal knowledge of ancient human techniques for purging toxins from potential foodstuffs to make them edible, and a time limit based on the amount of prepackaged food that survived the crash, this scholar has to find a way to process certain

Challenge #02702-G145: Early Linguistic Development

(Based on a true interaction between infant and parent)

Baby to GalStand translation:

GagagaGAGAGA (Look, Sepa! I have a piggy!)

Squiiiiinnnk squuuooooiiiinnnnnkkk (My piggy says oink)

Vrrreeeerrrr (My piggy is a vehicle now)

Wuf (I'm a dog.) -- Anon Guest

Of all the things that occurred when Humans began to integrate into Galactic Society, the one they least expected was Human Young. Intellectually, the Galactics knew that small Humans happened, and did so regularly. They never expected the peculiarities of Human Parental

Challenge #02701-G144: Unhealthy Social Strategies

Human Sean has invited me to drink with him, and to talk about his woes. After a few bottles he spilled what’s been on his mind. “my friend is three-timing”. I was shocked, I learned that humans were monogamous, of course falling in love with another is not all that surprising, but three?! In that moment I asked “do their partners knows about this?” Sean finished the bottle a new bottle before answering.”they do, and they confessed that that have

Challenge #02700-G143: All Possible Help

A: I must ask, what are those around you arms and legs?

B: I’m testing something I call “exo-suit” of course it’s not complete yet, but I’m done with the torso.

A: you made a hole through titanium.

B: and it’s not neurologically-linked yet -- Anon Guest

Of course Human Asty was up to something in the workshop. The ship-shuddering boom was a dead giveaway. Companion Zee decided to see what the devastation was about this time before

Challenge #02699-G142: Self Helping?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OYFEyyx47ls

Empathy, Copying and sharing Emotions.

Even 2-Year old Humans can do that.

So, how do they react, when they met a crying Havenworlder who lost his Travelgroup on Earth? -- Mike

Xu wasn't lost. Not really. They could trace their way all the way back to the play gym that Ama had left them at for just a few minutes. What Xu was, was distracted. They were distracted because there was a bunny in armour

Challenge #02698-G141: Annoying to Some

3-5 y/o Human child can ask around 437 questions per day. Can you imagine some scientist who need to babysit curious kid who in one second can ask question about quantum physics and before you can even start to answer the same child ask you why cheese is yellow? -- Anon Guest

"One question at a time, please. If you want answers, you must wait to hear the answer."

"Why?"

"If you do not wait, you do not get an answer.

Challenge #02697-G140: A Family Affair

Yes, I hate my brothers

Yes, they destroyed my life

Yes, I will probably kill them at some point in my life

But they are my brothers and I will not let you touch any of them

Because there is nothing more pure than hatred to your own siblings. You can say you hate them but you still love them no matter what. -- Anon Guest

Family is complicated, if you let it get that way. Let me begin with explaining mine.

Challenge #02696-G139: The Whoa Signal

Have you ever wondered what [REDACTED] is? Not many know about it, apparently it is a [REDACTED] that is able to [REDACTED] out of [REDACTED]. But that’s not all; if you're able to [REDACTED] with it you’ll be able to-

Sorry they’re getting closer, but so am I to finding [REDACTED] full capacity. Meet me at [REDACTED] and we’ll discuss more with less ears in the wall.

[END OF TRANSMISSION] -- Anon Guest

Some people should never be

Challenge #02694-G137: A Deserved Education

One of the Greater Deregulation planets found itself short of breeding stock and extended offers to girl's schools to come study abroad at their planet. St. Trinians accepted their offer. Greater Deregulation never saw what was coming next. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Since I really don't want to nick anyone else's IP, for my universe -excepting guest cameos- I shall have to use a St. Trinian's expy for this tale]

"They can't be serious," said Dame Lorx. "An extended offer to add

Challenge #02693-G136: Fighting True Evil

Several politicians within the Galactic Alliance get together to talk about Uplifts and similar beings. They begin a campaign to make it illegal to create them. Why? It should never be legal to create a cogniscent for the express purpose of enslaving and abusing them. All cogniscents have rights after all. They further were trying to get freed the many Uplifts that were currently living as property owned by others instead of being free. -- DaniAndShali

True evil, a wise man once

Challenge #02691-G134: Harmless Unless...

“My apologies but you are so similar to my damn cat”

“What make you sayyyy that?”

“Your reaction to catnip is exactly the same way as my cat” -- Anon Guest

Harmless substances are only harmless to some. Humans regularly imbibe carbonic acid because they find it tasty. In such cases, harmlessness is relative. In most cases, the phrase is "harmless but". For example, the Terran catnip plant is harmless, but it also functions as a narcotic for other species. How they

Challenge #02690-G133: Labor of Love

A human who enjoys fiber crafts goes on a quest to find the perfect material to make a soft, cuddly...thing for a havenworlder friend's birthday. The havenworlder is not from a culture that celebrates birthdays. -- Anon Guest.

"This is for a Havenworlder," said the Human in the store. "I need the friendliest fibre you've got. Soft, gentle, won't tangle in their scales or rip their little baby claws if they get caught up. I'd really prefer they didn't get caught

Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.

Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc

(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) -- Mike

[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don't do that to us again?]

War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to

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A 2280-post collection

Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Challenge #02704-G147: The Dying of the Might

Challenge #02703-G146: Gathering For Time

Challenge #02702-G145: Early Linguistic Development

Challenge #02701-G144: Unhealthy Social Strategies

Challenge #02700-G143: All Possible Help

Challenge #02699-G142: Self Helping?

Challenge #02698-G141: Annoying to Some

Challenge #02697-G140: A Family Affair

Challenge #02696-G139: The Whoa Signal

Challenge #02694-G137: A Deserved Education

Challenge #02693-G136: Fighting True Evil

Challenge #02691-G134: Harmless Unless...

Challenge #02690-G133: Labor of Love

Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud