Step 1: Take your left hand or grasping appendage.
Step 2: Reach your left hand or grasping appendage and move it so it is behind you.
Step 3: Lower your left hand or grasping appendage so that it is perpendicular to your pelvis.
Step 4: Move your left hand or grasping appendage towards your body, so that it contacts the rear of your pelvis.
Step 5: Grasp the rear of your pelvis.
Step 6: Lift.
Congratulations, you are now flying by the seat of your pants.
There was an irate saurian in the foyer. And, judging by the copious bags at hir feet, they were prepared to wait until someone in charge could see them.
The gatekeeper-secretary tidied his hair before discreetly calling their ultimate superior. Editor in Chief, Sanja Elkrun.
“Sir,” murmured the secretary. “We have a camper in the foyer. They want to see you.”
“How many bags?”
“I’ve counted six.”
Sigh. “Well, at least it isn’t lawyers.” Editor Elkrun cut the comms. There was a twenty-minute window upcoming in her schedule that she usually reserved for window-time, but her psychological wellbeing had evidently been trumped, today.
She stepped smartly into her executive veet and pretended normalcy after the vertiginous drop to the ground floor. Even at max boost, there was not much time. Sanja left the veet talking. “Welcome, cogniscent, to the offices of MegaMagazines. I am Editor in Chief, Sanja Elkrun. I do not have much time, so please keep this quick.”
The saurian stood, revealing herself to be a female Enkapha. “I am Ligath. I came in protest to your instructions on page one five three of Human Comedy.”
“Sir…” said Sanja kindly. “The title of the publication is Human Comedy. We have disclaimers and warnings in pop-ups that you must read and acknowledge.”
“Oh, I had those turned off. They’re far too annoying.”
Once again, the forces of ignorance trumped the desperate attempts of the virtuous to help them remain educated. “And the title of Human Comedy didn’t tell you that any instructions in the main body of the magazine are not to be taken seriously?”
Great Powers, she could actually see the righteous indignation in Ligath’s posture drain out of her. “Uh. Er. When you put it that way…”
“Do you consent to having this event become material for our magazine?” asked Sanja. “You have had warnings turned off, so I must ask if you read the disclaimer at the door.” The disclaimer that plainly stated in GalStand and the five leading languages of the Galactic Alliance that people coming inside the offices to complain quickly became grist for the magazine mill, and entering was tantamount to consent.
“What? No!”
“Then in future, I suggest that you leave your warnings on,” she said. “For your continued wellbeing.” She turned away and strode back to her executive veet.
Sanja got all the way past the four hundredth floor before she burst out laughing.
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