A 1-post collection

Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 16

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Sixteen: Things That Make You Go AUGH!

  “Twongngngng…” said Kurt, making rubber-band-flicking motions with his hands.

  Kitty was already helpless with laughter. “Stoppit… You fuzzy sadist… Oh, my ribs… like, *owww*… I’m dying…”

  Kurt laughed, also reliving the funniest, most sadistic short he'd ever seen on the screen. It was worth it to see her laughing again. She was so tense about the pregnancy test thing. Still, the longer the thing took, the more accurate it was.

  This one was guaranteed to be as accurate as all heck.

  Ten more minutes, and maybe they’d know.

  In a couple of {Bamf!}s, Kurt ‘ported to an apple tree, found an apple, and 'ported back. “Laughter not your thing, liebe? How about an apple?”

  “No way, those things are like, tart.”

  Kurt took a bite. “Tastes pretty sweet to me. And *juicy*…” He held out the apple.


  “Deal? What sort of deal?” In order to appear uninterested, Lance inhaled a deep drag.

  “You want the little stick of a fraulein. I want Fuzzy Blue. You tell me where he goes to be alone, and I get her for you.” She too, took a deep puff. She blew more smoke rings. “You get to be her hero. In a few days, of course. I need time to make her receptive for you.”

  “Receptive, huh? What makes you think you can do it?”

  “I have my methods.”

  “So how are you gonna get Kitty?”

  “They’ve been spending a lot of time together, ja? It makes sense that they should be together… I’ll just get them both. And in a few days, your girl will do *anything* for the man who rescues her.”

  “Anything, huh?”

  “Oh, ja. She will be greatful for the rest of her life. Yours for the rest of her life.”

  “A few days, huh?”

  “Three or four. I will contact you again when she’s ready.”

  “You got a piece of paper?” Lance grinned. “I need to draw a map.”


  Hess tossed some foodstuffs down into the basement then, wiping her hands clean, made doubly sure she had what she needed to get her demon and the little stick.

  Silent shoes. Check.

  Odour-eating suit. Check.

  Two twenty-foot lengths of rope. Check.

  Sacks. Check.

  Gags. Check.

  Ether. Check.

  Map. Check.

  She could leave the implements of torture at home. Business first. Fun later.

  Hess dumped her stuff in the passenger seat of the van she'd 'liberated’ from a dry cleaning company. She’d dump it later under a bridge, making the whole thing look like a joyride, and leaving no clues for the demon’s alleged friends as to where he went or who with.

  If they would even bother themselves looking for him.

  He *was* going to find out, and learn forever, that he belonged to her. She’d *made* him. He was *hers*.

  Neither his bodyguards nor that little stick of a girl would be able to stop her. She’d have him once and for all. And maybe have a little fun with the girl, too.

  From what she’d heard, the little stick may be having a bud. For all she knew, there was another tiny demon in the bargain.

  _Now that,_ she thought as she started the van, _Is what I call a complete set._


  Kitty took a deep breath and sighed. The tame squirrel that was raiding Kurt’s pockets twitched at her, then scurried away. Kitty reached for Kurt’s wrist and stared at the watch.

  “Damn it. Like, time’s supposed to like, *fly* when you’re like, having fun.”

  “Ah, but not when you’re waiting for something important,” said Kurt. "Things are getting a little bit desperate. I’m actually thinking of doing some cloud-watching.“

  Another squirrel darted from the underbrush, picked up an apple core, glared at them, and darted away.

  "That was Spot,” said Kurt. “He’s the skeptic of the tribe.”


  She schooled herself to stay still. So *tempting* to just bag the demon and get away. Just grab what was hers.

  But she’d made a deal, and she would see it through.

  There. *There* was the little stick. Once again, Hess was amazed that the walking twig treated the demon like another human. He must hate it, her not acknowledging his true power like that.

  Hess would show her, she decided. Show her everything about her fuzzy demon. That little spot where his tail began to depart from his back - the one that turned his knees to jelly every single time.

  The hold on his tail that turned him into a wild thing in bed.

  The ticklish spot under his dewclaw-toe. Essential in foreplay.

  According to what had been said, she didn’t know about his athleticism in the sack, either. Hess grinned to herself. That was all her work.

  When she’d met him, he had no idea of his true potential, and wept like a child when introduced to his glory. She’d shown him how marvellous his demon’s body could feel, and he wept. *Wept*! But he must have changed his mind. He took the book she gave him.

  She knew he read it, because the next time they met, he was asking her a hundred questions about its contents. Even though he sounded appalled, she knew he was fascinated. He even spoke of other ladies who 'rented' him for evening play.

  What he didn’t know - or pretended not to know, was that every time she 'rented’ him, she was paying for him on the instalment plan.

  He was hers.

  And after she made her last payment, she took possession of him. It was stunningly easy. One sniff of ether and he went down like a dream. He *wanted* to be with her. That was proof.

  And soon, very soon, they would be together again.

  Their neat little family.


  “Oh look, it’s the idiot,” drawled Tabby. “What are *you* so happy about?”

  “Not that we wanna *know*, or anything,” said Todd. “You got a diseased mind, yo.”

  Lance kept on grinning. “Turns out I might just be getting me a pet Kitty-cat,” he bragged. “Practically for free. It’s being set up as we speak.”

  “If he’s talking about what I *think* he’s talking about,” said Fred. "Those X-geeks are gonna *whomp* ya.“

  "No they ain’t. 'Cause *I* get to be the *hero*.”

  “It’s official. He’s insane,” said Pietro.  

  Lance ignored them, thinking about the exchange, and Rosa’s last words.

  _Dankeshoen, mein fruend,_ she’d said. _And if I catch you smoking on school grounds, I will pick a body part and extinguish the cigarette on it. We have an understanding?_

  Lance decided it’d be safer playing hooky while he had a smoke from now on.


  “I can’t do it!”

  “Of course you can, liebchen.”

  “I *can’t* do it…”

  “If mein baby schwester can do it, you can do it.”

  “I’m like, ambisinister or something. I can’t.”

  “Just leave the words up to me, ja? Concentrate on the hands.”

  Kitty giggled.

  “Slow motion, ja?” Kurt smiled at her. He held out his hands. “One.”

  Kitty got into position. Their hands met.


  A different position. Still hardly clapping at all.


  Yet again. Kitty dared make a little noise this time. It was more of a 'cl’ with Kurt’s fur.


  That one was easy. Kitty’s hands met in a resounding clap.

  “Sehr gut. Now faster. One. Two. Three. Four.”

  Kitty laughed. She hadn’t tried to do this sort of thing since she was ten. She hadn’t been very good at it then, but somehow, Kurt made it possible. Soon, they were going at warp speed.

  “And now the rhyme.” Kurt took a breath and played at trying to remember. “My mother, your mother, playing in the yard…”

  Kitty burst out laughing and lost it completely. “Du Scheisse!”

  “You’re learning German!” Kurt beamed. “Gluckwunsche!”

  “All I know is how to like, swear at you. Silly Elf.”

  “It’s a start,” he said. “Everything has to start somewhere.”

  {pipip. pipip. pipip. pipip. pipip}

  “That thing has an alarm clock?” Kitty asked. She was surprised there was room.

  “Oh ja. It even tells the time.” He picked up the pregnancy test wand that had lain between them all this time.

  “Ew. *Kurt*… I like, *peed* on that.”

  “I’ve had three baby sisters, liebe. Pee is the least of mein worries.” He looked at the little windows and hummed. “Is it one line or two?”

  “One for out, two for in,” said Kitty. She didn’t want to look.

  “Ah. Then it’s definitely –mph!”

  And there was a cloth over her face. It smelled funny. She gasped, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do. She tried to scream, which wasn’t effective. She looked at Kurt. He was already out.

  Ohyeah. High metabolism.

  Kitty tried to phase free, but that didn’t seem to work either. Her concentration kept slipping away. So sleepy. The sound of cicadas filled her ears as darkness envelopped her.