Amalgam Universe

A 2271-post collection

Challenge #00797-B066: The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Really Bad Idea

“This year’s human sacrifice features something very special- actual humans!”

“What were they sacrificing before?” murmured Edilade “Soy humans?”

“Best not to ask,” whispered Janet. “You have any of those smoke bombs I told you to dispose of?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, gimme some of those smoke bombs you don’t have.” Janet had already escaped the natives’ shackles. They all had. Being a scavenger crew meant that they were all prepared for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. “Five each should do it.”

Edilade grinned. “Are we gonna pull the Boom Shakalaka?”

Janet considered this, “Eeeeehhh… maybe a hybrid of Boom and Maresidoats. We don’t want them worshiping us by accident.”

“So… running under a hail of spears, then.”

“Be grateful they haven’t invented archery. Or long-range accuracy.”

The captain burned fuel a little faster, getting away from that planet. Unfortunately, they had had to leave some of their tech behind. At least it was gene-locked and the natives couldn’t use it for anything more than talismans or, if mood suited them, bludgeons.

The bad news that came with that was that their tech was gene-locked and the Society for the Protection of Societies was going to be on their collective asses if they ever found out.

The big question, however was, “How the heck did they become a cargo cult if we’re the first humans to go there?” which Tamika helpfully asked.

“That,” said Captain Shanice, “is a question we can log in our defence.”

In a hidden temple, far underneath where the natives had built their ‘space lasso’, was the most sacred of their sacred objects. A holy ancestor had tried to catch a star, so the story went, and seized this.

Most of it was sort of octagonal, but the important part was a carefully-polished plaque. Maintained and worshiped as a holy message.

On it was a picture of the device, and two nude humans, and a stylised star, or what could have been a star, if one didn’t notice the binary notation of the rays

And a small depiction of a solar system.

One of Humanity’s messages to the cosmos.

It was a pity that the natives read it as a menu order from the Gods.

[Muse food remaining: 14. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00796-B065: These Humans Are Crazy

An aliens reaction to the punch buggy game

“Punch buggy white!”

“Hey! One, that is clearly blue, and two - we’re in a freaking car museum. Knock it off.”

“Where’s your sense of humour?”

Janice gritted her teeth. “We’re in front of ambassadors,” she grated. “You’re embarrassing your entire species.”

Meanwhile, Ambassador Vrex was taking notes. Humans are instinctually violent. Even their games and

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Hevun’s RebelSahra was on the opposite side of the station to Ore Processing when it blew up. For a tunnel rat and a slave, this means...

Hevun’s Rebel

Sahra was on the opposite side of the station to Ore Processing when it blew up. For a tunnel rat and a slave, this means nothing but trouble. But for Sahra, that’s just the beginning.
Her people need a Saviour to lead them to freedom, but no such person dare volunteer with the Masters’ guns ready to fire at all times. What harm could there be in doing a few things to help the Saviour

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The Amity IncidentT'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity....

The Amity Incident

T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants to learn all about the various venomous, poisonous, and outright deadly life forms on a land mass named Toxic Island, you can almost see why. Little did she know that when she committed her life to the study of this strange and hostile land, there was already a colony of monsters setting up housekeeping. Now she&

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Challenge #00794-B063: The Arboretum of Death

Bunya Pines. That is all.

[AN: SO very tempted to add a distant relative to Gravity Falls…]

People came from all over to see the deadly plants. They did not come to experience personal encounters with them. Just to see, and goggle in amazement that they existed at all.

Of course, it was no shock to many that the majority of these deadly plants came from Earth

Most of the protected walkways were surrounded on all sides by the best of

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Challenge #00793-B062: One Puzzling Afternoon in the Ambassador's Lounge

http://eighthdoctor.tumblr.com/post/104127747867/okay-but-i-spent-the-afternoon-reading-about-venus

“Wait. Wait. I need to understand this.”

Shayde sighed. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to explain it in depth. “Go on.”

“Your people took seven goes to find a planet.”

“Yeh, the thing aboot space is… it’s big. There’s loads o’ stuff in it ye ken…”

“It was your intra-stellar neighbour on an

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Challenge #00791-B060: One Fine Afternoon Constitutional

Image prompt!
The story of two birds, Numidids optional.

[AN: Image shows two long-necked birds(possibly egrets) facing each other on opposite sides of what looks to be a canal. One bird is white, the other is grey. I also have no idea why the image won’t get quoted any more. Another stuff-up from staff?]

This is Earth. It now prides itself on the strange, the bizarre, and the unusual. Its citizens, for a modest fee, will gleefully exhibit some

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Challenge #00788-90 - B057-59: The Human Answer

“What the Heck are they doing?”
“They’re having Fun.”
This is a line from a Very old Movie called The Boatnicks„ See what you can do with it, not necessarily to do with boats, could be anything us humans think of as fun.
2. .  Jam, treacle, puffed rice. Who would have thought it could be used as a weapon.
3. “Once you open a can of worms, it takes two cans to get them back.” have fun.
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Get your copy of the Hevun's Child trilogy today!

Sahra was on the opposite side of the station to Ore Processing when it blew up. For a tunnel rat and a slave, this means nothing but trouble. But for Sahra, that’s just the beginning.
Her people need a Saviour to lead them to freedom, but no such person dare volunteer with the Masters’ guns ready to fire at all times. What harm could there be in doing a few things to help the Saviour finally turn up?
As

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T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants...

T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants to learn all about the various venomous, poisonous, and outright deadly life forms on a land mass named Toxic Island, you can almost see why. Little did she know that when she committed her life to the study of this strange and hostile land, there was already a colony of monsters setting up housekeeping. Now she’s face-to-face

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Challenge #00782 - B051: Quirks of Psychology

Someone who worked for Norix and was a Whisperer, at the end of the Standard Year, who really needs that job.
They’re a Queen fan and don’t know why they’re a Whisperer.

“Please… please don’t let me go. I can change the song. I’ve been working on it. I have. I love Under Pressure. I just… don’t… understand… why I keep singing Ice Ice Baby.”

Nor looked

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Challenge #00779-780 - B048-49: Fame and Glory

(1) “Oh! never try for the top job! Too many want to knock you off. Not even second or third, a comfortable spot somewhere near the top is best. And it’s So interesting watching the carnage. You might even get a book about it.”
(2) “Famous!! You want to be famous, Are you stark raving mad!”

[AN: Once again I have to remind my dear followers that I can only handle one prompt at a time. I know it’s

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Still available at all good e-retailers everywhere! The Hevun’s Child Trilogy!Follow the adventures of Sahra Johnston as she struggles...

Still available at all good e-retailers everywhere! The Hevun’s Child Trilogy!

Follow the adventures of Sahra Johnston as she struggles against her captors for her people’s right to be free!

You can own this entire trilogy for less than $6US! Amazing!

Or, if you don’t like to pay for things, enter my competition for your chance to win it all for FREE [first book excluded because it’s already free. Huzzah]

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T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants...

T'reka just wanted to learn. Unfortunately for her, her entire species views scientific thinking as a form of insanity. And when she wants to learn all about the various venomous, poisonous, and outright deadly life forms on a land mass named Toxic Island, you can almost see why. Little did she know that when she committed her life to the study of this strange and hostile land, there was already a colony of monsters setting up housekeeping. Now she’s face-to-face

Read more »