I have a lot on my plate at the moment. Lots of stressers on my dressers, as it were. So stand back, I am going to vent.

I already mentioned the injured cat. She has this cut above her eye that's not healing and is going to need expensive stitches. She's otherwise fine, just has this really grody-looking cut above one eye.

Mayhem and Chaos are both practising for the International Procrastination Olympics. Focussing intensely on the Farting Around 500, the Helplessness Marathon, and the Useless Pentathalon.

They're taking advantage of the half-hour I have to spend at my desk, treating my feet. The little... (gritted teeth)darlings...

Beloved decided to tackle our food problems with a $500+ trip to Costco, and most of the stuff we got? We can't even eat.

But by crikey, we are going to save a ton on paper towels, dish soap, and washing powder. Oh, and cat food. Can't forget the cat food.

And I'm worried that a major portion of the four litres of milk we now have is going to go manky before anyone can drink it. But that's small potatoes.

Chaos' other school is going to bill us for over a grand, soon. I don't know where I'm going to get the money [There's a link on top of the page. I get thirty cents out of every dollar. Please give generously] and then all the help they've been lending to her is going to evaporate at the end of the semester.

AND I just found out that Beloved's spending spree has taken us back to negative money and we still need things.

I need your kind contributions like I need air.

And two friends of mine are having a... Thing. Can't call it a breakup. Not allowed to call it a 'fight' or an 'argument'. One says the Other abused the fuck out of them. The Other says that One is a dangerous kleptomaniac drug addict and needs Other's care, attention and kind hand to keep them safe and in line.

It does not help that Other is filling in every single one of the checkboxes listed under "Reasons why you should leave your partner", and subtitled, "Signs of abuse/abuser tactics."

And to top off that little slice of drama with a glacé cherry... a new "friend" has turned up who looks suspiciously like Other in a hat. They're obviously trying to see what I think of Other, under the pretence of gathering a collection of Other's emails sent to me. This "friend" is also allegedly in the middle of the -ah- dispute and has already accused Other of "bullshit".

Other has previously complained that they don't have any friends.

Plus the email in question arrived at a misspelled username that I can still receive because I own the domain.

I tried googling this individual and found out that they're either a Baroque composer or a drug dealer. All efforts to find out who really belongs to the email have been... confusing.

But the big thing is our negative bank balance.

That's the really huge stresser for me. I need money and I need it fast. And besides signing up for spam via those we-pay-you-for-surveys sites... I don't have a lot of avenues for income.

Does anyone know any really generous billionaires?