Challenge #01362-C267: Apocollapse Now

All the signs were there, amongst the storm and fire-streaked sky appeared The Four Horsemen, War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death stood ready, then one of them said, "Oh Shit! It's Them!" Enter the Other four horsepersons, those of the Apocollapse (hope I've spelt it right),and proceed to avert the Apocalypse, by infecting the big four. -- Knitnan

[AN: No you didn't, but I fixed it.]

You know the drill. Seas boiling and turning to blood. Fire in the sky. The Kraken awoken and being really ticked off because they haven't had their coffee...

And in the centre of the storm, rides the Big Four. We've known them since the dawn of time. Belief has given them shape. A certain author gave Death's white horse a name.

War cackled as the bombs and the bullets and the blood flew. Famine thrived on the cries of woe as Pestilence blighted the world's GMO crops. Sure, Pestilence had already been busy in the anti-vac community, but this was chaos on a global scale.

And Death... well... Death was getting RSI from all that scythe swinging.

And just as it looked like the Earth could be painted by Hieronymus Bosch... there came the revving of four motorcycles.

OH SHIT, said Death. IT'S THEM.

The four horsepersons of the Apocollapse. Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Mislaying, and Distraction.

Clumsiness crashed right into War because their brakes had been repaired by Mislaying, and a certain, vital part had been Just Put Down And Now It's Gone. Distraction did their Crazy Frog act around the other three. Absentmindedness asked Pestilence if they were sure this was the right place.

Of course this is the right place, argued Famine. It's the Apocalypse. It's global!

"What are we doing, again?" said Absentmindedness.

The Apocalypse! War roared.

"...whoops... uh... sorry about those nukes... were they important?" said Clumsiness.


"Has anyone seen my other glove?" said Mislaying. "I know I had it five minutes ago..."

OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, muttered Death. He absently reached back as if to place his scythe away by Binky's saddle, but Distraction had lured the pale horse away with sugar-cubes and scritches, so the scythe spiralled away into the meelee below. He didn't notice, stalking forward to show Mislaying where the glove was. IT'S IN YOUR BLOODY HELMET, YOU INCOMPETENT--


Death looked back to Distraction. Then down into the tempest. FUCK.

Will You Stop Mucking Around With Death's Horse? demanded Famine. He Has A Job To Do You Know...

Wait, said Pestilence. Where did my crown go?

What was I just doing? pondered War. I know I was doing something...

"Oh, that happens to me all the time," said Absentmindedness. "I'd forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on."

I Heard Of A Phenomenon Where The Brain Resets When You Enter A New Room, said Famine. Maybe You Have A Version Of That, Only Worse.

Before long, all eight anthropomorphic personifications were kind of... hanging out and chatting in the dissipating storm clouds. Down below, the influence of the Apocalypse wore off, and the Apocollapse kind of hung around for a bit.

But, just for once, there was peace on Earth, and goodwill towards fellow humans.

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