Challenge #00995-B264: One Stuffy Hour in a Remote Meeting Hall

SPOEn get confronted with this (a personal failure at panel 6, where I guessed wrong and upset someone was what made me send the prompt that became SPOEn - I didn't articulate myself well in the prompt) -- RecklessPrudence

"Wait," said the noob at the meeting. "I thought this was for analysis of language drift, trying to find the origins. I mean, in so far as anyone can find any origins..."

"What did you think it meant when you read the acronym?" said her sponsor. "We're trying to define original English. There's some argument about that. Some say Twentieth-century. Some say Shakespearian. Others reckon it's Chaucer."

"If you want the oldest language in England or the British Isles, then you'd have to go for some kind of Pictish, and nobody knows how to speak it." Which earned her malevolent glares from the members in the meeting hall.

The Speaker glared down his nose at her. "Young miss," he said. "We are pinpointing a time in which the most versatile language in the known universe became the language of poets and artists."

"Well that doesn't narrow it down at all," she countered. "Or are you all performing some kind of linguistic snobbery to set yourself apart from other cogniscents? Like... only the things that fit your check-list matter?"

They kicked her out in short order.

"Next item of business: New members. Why are we having such trouble gathering more SPOEns?"

(Muse food remaining: 10. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)